The Loo

This is a slang term for toilet, and it was supposedly derived from the practice of the French yelling out the warning, “Gardez l’eau!” (pronounced gardy loo – meaning “mind the water”), before emptying the chamber pot from an upper level onto the street below.  Following the devastation of the Bubonic Plague, some areas of Europe attempted to improve sanitation by outlawing the practice of discarding waste on public streets.  When privacy slowly emerged as an issue, sanitation improved.

During the Middle Ages, flush toilets and indoor plumbing did not exist.  There were several ways in which people ‘did their business’.  A popular way was using the garderobe, which means ‘to guard the robes’.  This was a private room, a bed-chamber area that was also referred to as a privy.  It got this name because people kept their clothes in them, and they believed that the foul odor in these chambers repelled moths, which would otherwise eat the fabric.  It is from ‘garderobe’ that the modern word ‘wardrobe’ is derived.  Basically, these were seats (either made of stone or wood) attached to a shaft leading to a pit.  These toilets were installed in castles and manor houses, so they were available only to the rich and powerful.

Less privileged people had to settle for more communal facilities, such as cesspits, which was simply a hole in the ground similar to an outhouse.  Excrement would stay stagnant in the hole, so these cesspits needed to be emptied every once in a while, as excrement sank to the bottom and liquids flowed out between the spaces in the brick lining.  In 1183, Frederick I Barbarossa (1122–1190) Holy Roman Emperor and Duke of Swabia held a Diet (legislative assembly) in the Great Hall of Germany’s Erfurt Castle, when suddenly the floor of the main hall collapsed, and the Emperor his knights and many of the dinner guests fell thirty-nine feet into the cesspool below and drowned.  Emperor Frederick pulled through as he was able to grab on to the iron grates of a window, whereat he hung by the hands till he was rescued, but it was a while before any of his guests accepted another dinner invitation at the castle.

Written for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Gardyloo.

Peace and Tranquility

Harold Ray Ragsdale better known as Ray Stevens is an American family-friendly entertainer, a country and pop singer-songwriter and comedian who has won several Grammys for comedic hits such as ‘Gitarzan’ and ‘The Streak’ as well as ‘Misty’, and this one ‘Everything Is Beautiful’.  He wrote the uplifting song as the theme for the 1970 TV variety show called The Ray Stevens Show.  He wanted to write a very special song, so he went down into his basement for about three days, and there were crumpled up papers all over the place, but eventually he got the idea for this song he wrote it in about 45 minutes.  This was released in 1970 on his Everything Is Beautiful album and the single reached #1 in the US and it charted #6 in the UK.  Stevens is probably better known for his novelty recordings, like ‘Ahab, The Arab’, and ‘Harry The Hairy Ape’ and he may hold the record for writing a song with the longest title ever, ‘Jeremiah Peabody’s Poly Unsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green and Purple Pills’.

Beauty is a relative notion that involves a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, but this especially relates to sight and we use this term to measure things against each other.  Something that gives intense pleasure or leaves you deeply satisfied and is thought of as being enjoyable, would be considered to be beautiful.  In the fashion industry, the idea of beauty is always shifting, as what looks good today maybe passé tomorrow.  Beauty is said to reside in the eye of the beholder, because it cannot be judged objectively so you may see something that you feel is beautiful, and this same thing may not appeal to another, thus beauty is actually created by observers.

This song gives the listeners an affirmative way of looking at all the aspects of life to create harmony, peace, tranquility and bring back those halcyon days to restore the human spirit.  It talks about God and heaven and it contains a Biblical quote based on Jeremiah 5:21, “There is none so blind as he who will not see”, which basically states that people will ignore facts even when they are staring them right in the face.  It is a song of hope that can get you through dark times, letting you believe that the “world’s gonna find a way.”

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

Everything is beautiful in it’s own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter’s day
And everybody’s beautiful in their own way
Under God’s Heaven
The world’s gonna find the way

There is none so blind
As He who will not see
We must not close up minds
We must let our thoughts be free

For every hour that passes by
You know the world gets a little bit older
It’s time to realize that people lies
In the eyes of the beholder

And everything is beautiful in its own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter’s day, ah, sing it children
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way
Under God’s Heaven
The world’s gonna find a way

We shouldn’t care about the length of His hair
Of the color of His skin
Don’t worry about what shows from without
But the love that lives within

And we’re gonna get old again now
Everything is gonna work out fine
Just take a little time to the look on the good side my friend
And spittle in out in your mind

And everything is beautiful in it’s own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter’s day, ah, sing it children
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way
Under God’s Heaven
The world’s gonna find a way, one more time

Everything is beautiful in its own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter’s day

Written for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Halcyon.

Winklepicker Stilettos

I have a fetish for long pointy shoes, or as I like to call them bedroom fuck me high heels and this might be a result of watching too many strippers dancing at clubs in their hooker heels.  If I can get a woman to wear them for my special private enjoyment and excitement then she is a keeper.  If she can get naked, but keep the heels on while we are in bed, that is even better, because that always keeps me aroused.  When a lady decides to parade around in this type of shoe, this becomes a real boner starter for me, because I know that this type of woman is more concerned in turning on a man then she is interested in her own comfort and she is secretively saying, “Do me”.  I have experimented with femdom play from time to time, where I let my mistress command me to lick her toes, and kiss or caress them.  I enjoy being able to remove them from her feet and then re-fitting them on her, as she flaunts her control over my manhood.  I am not interested in wearing a collar, or any type of bondage, whips or handcuffs, but some gentle play without pain or humiliation is right up my alley.

My preference is black or high gloss cherry red and if they wear a matching leather outfit that partially exposes their breasts, that always seems to work for me.  When a girl walks around in winklepicker stilettos, I know that her intentions to attract a man are deliberate and these shoes should be confined to the bedroom, as wearing them out in public, is like putting a sticker on yourself that says, “I want it”, and people will think that you should be standing on a street corner.  This type of shoe takes it up a notch, as even my grandmother would look good in these, well maybe not so much.  They tend to expose the maximum amount of foot flesh and this cannot be over done or exaggerated.  A shoe that features a long, sharp toe, one that is teamed up with a stiletto heel (or spike heel), can become a formidable weapon and it deserves respect.

Written for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Winklepicker.

Hippie Cousin to the Camel

Lilly named her llama Pauciloquent because she thought that was a cute name for such a fluffy animal.  It made some groaning noises, it hummed and it made these adorable gargling sounds when it became sexually aroused from time to time, but it mostly stayed silent.  Lilly enjoyed riding on Pauciloquent and she thought it was better than being on a camel with humps, but she did not weigh that much.  Lilly loved taking selfies while riding on her pet, which she would hashtag, Instagram, and facebook all over the net, and this increased her bonding with this fuzzball creature

Lilly had owned an alpaca before, but she found out that are more distant to affection like cats usually are, while llamas are more like dogs once you earn their trust.  Lilly was having a lot of fun hanging out with Pauciloquent and although she was warned that llamas might try to spit in her face, but as she got to know Pauciloquent, she realized that he would never do such a nasty thing.

Lilly became the president of the Life is Better with a Llama Society and she was now sending out over 150 newsletters every month.  She included a section on llama humor, which everybody seemed to enjoy.  Some of her favorite jokes were: What do you get when you cross a turtle and a llama?, where the answer is a turtleneck sweater.  What do llamas call the end of time?, answer Llamageddon.   Did you hear about the woman who broke up with her boyfriend and moved to Peru?, she became a real llama queen.  What’s a llama’s favorite song?, Llama Chameleon.  Her llama never laughed ay any of the jokes that she told him, but he was never big on words anyways.

Written for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Pauciloquent.

Call Me Jentacular

Call me psychopomp
Throw in Nudiustertian too
Do my shaved eyebrows bother you?
Well, I’m not ambidextrous, I just like to screw
Call me hifalutin, tell me I’m like Putin
Reality, I’m inclined to pursue
Call me facetious, yes, I’m pretentious
But it’s consequently true
I have this predilection for you
Call me incongruous, yes, I’m notorious
But it’s heuristically true
I’m concupiscently into you

Written for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Jentacular.

The Sure Thing

I woke up in 2021 caught in an intimate relationship and I guess that I just got used to having her around.  When we met, she told me that there was no need to romance her, as she was a sure thing.  I became distracted by her beauty which was mesmerizing, but romance was one aspect that I certainly wanted to have in a relationship.  I wanted more and I turned into a basket case because I started ignoring the ignorance of this situation.  I wanted to kiss her and she insisted that wasn’t necessary, so we argued constantly till I got tired.  She looked just like Elizabeth Taylor and I asked her if we could go up on the tin roof with a blanket where we could be like street cats making love.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Distracted, for the Daily Spur prompt – Aspect, for FOWC with Fandango – Intimate, for Linda G. Hill’s ‘Life in progress’ JusJoJan January prompt – Caught, for January Writing Prompts – Ignoring the ignorance, for Ragtag Community – Blanket, for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #167 – I woke up in 2021, for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver hosted by Michael prompt – A basket case, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Tired Tin More and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Mesmerizing.

I’ve Seen Covid and I Smelled Death

I woke up this morning and I wrote this post after listening to James Taylor sing his song ‘Fire and Rain’, so there may be a little of his song buried in my words.  2019 was moving along just fine and in some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday morning, but now 2020 is almost gone.  I have seen anguish and pain in the face of George Floyd saying, “I can’t breathe.”  I learned about QAnon absurdities and I heard a lot of Rudy Giuliani nonsense.  Donald Trump has made over 5,700 Tweets this year and he still thinks that he won the election and many of his supporters continue to send him money.

Florida’s Governor DeSantis directed that COVID-19 vaccines initial phase will be a priority for long-term care facility residents and staff, persons 65 years and older, and health care personnel with direct patient contact.  This was one of my wishes and it means that I can get a vaccine, but since they are no longer taking any appointments, Ima tell ya that I will not be standing in line and waiting till they serve me, which I am not about to do.  I refuse to become a little silhouetto of a man, as I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain and it sounds like this line that would never end, making me a featureless silhouette of a person for spending my whole day standing in it.  They are advising anybody who wants to wait to bring food, water and something to do and this signals me that the vaccines are being mishandled.

I just signed up to take over a community Newsletter, not because I am lonely or I think that I need a friend, it is just that I enjoy writing and I think that I am good at it.  I hope that I didn’t bite off more than I ca chew and this ends up becoming a punch in the gut for me.  I will be responsible for reporting items of special interest, letting people know what is going on around town, what is happing in the association and in the specific section where I live, providing helpful hints and bringing good tidings to those who will receive the newsletter.

My mouse was acting up today, so I cleaned the optical sensor on the bottom and now it is back to normal, which made me happy that it recognized where I was telling it to go.  I am not sure how often I should be cleaning it, but for now it will see me through another day.  I have been walking my mind to an easy time with my back turned towards the sun to ridicule, expose and criticize people’s stupidity in this satire that I call life.

My eye doctor follow-up appointment is set for 3 PM today and I will find out how the latest laser surgery went on my right eye to correct the Posterior Capsule Opacification which manifested after my cataract procedure was done earlier this year.  I hope that this puts an end to all of my vision problems and then I will have more time on my hands to keep writing.  My body’s aching and my time is at hand, but my hope is that we don’t see Trump again in 2024, unless it is at Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World.  I will cook up some leftovers for dinner tonight and I still have some grocery shopping to do, so later tater.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Tidings, for the Daily Spur prompt – Punch, for FOWC with Fandango – Silhouette, for December Monthly Writing Prompts – Ima tell ya, for Ragtag Community – Satire, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Cook Hall Recognized and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Wishes.

Sine Qua Non

“Without which not”, missing an indispensable element, that should be an absolute prerequisite, something deemed essential, without which we cannot bear living, making life in general loose some specific value and turn into an abstract mess of desperationWhen I joined WordPress, I was happy to see a group of dedicated writers here, but there are also many people here that don’t write very well.  Maybe they had poor teaching, or perhaps English is a new language for them.  I take great pride in my writing and maybe some people think that I am some kind of a pompous jerk for feeling that way, but coherence is an essential quality for readability.  My paragraphs and sentences need to be clearly linked to each other, so that my logic will flow from point to point.

When I complete a post that is written properly, I’m happy to share it with others, because I feel that I have created or produced something worthwhile and that is an accomplishment for me and then I can say the words, “I am a writer”, and this allows me to continue to write.  I write every day as I am compelled to write and I try to be versatile tackling many topics and I admit that some of the stuff that I write may not be all that ingenious.  I prepare each post; I try to abide by the rules and I hope to avoid trouble that way.  I don’t get paid for any of my posts and soon after they are finished, they are easily forgotten.  I see so many bloggers here that write about nothing, yet they have many more followers and they get a lot more views and likes than I receive.  I know that I am putting much more effort into my writing than they are into their rapid posts and maybe my posts are unpopular because of my quirky opinions, or my rapscallion attitude.  I think of myself as being last but not least. where I don’t have a lot of fans, but I think that my writing is important and my writing is not dependent on how many readers show up to view my posts.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Rapid, for the Daily Spur prompt – Dependent, for FOWC with Fandango – Ingenious, for December Monthly Writing Prompts – Last but not least, for Ragtag Community – Rapscallion, for Di’s Three Things Challenge #442 prompt words – Prepare, Trouble and Rules and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Desperation.

High‐Tech Terrorist

Untouched books crowded his shelves, shiny leather spines and faded first editions, meticulously dusted and never read.  The books were just illusions to impress others, and they made his life bearable, because they impressed his friends.  He had no intention of ever reading any of them, as knowing too much would take away his individualism, and his sense of style.  He was as phony as a three-dollar bill, but what nobody knew was that the book shelves were hiding a secret passage to his panic room.  He was not sorry for all of the lies that he feed to the press and he hoped that Trump would exonerate him one day.

They finally caught up to Julian Assange and his long-time friend Pamela Anderson felt he would not survive an extradition from the U.K. to the U.S.  He breached his bail in June 2012 and took refuge in the Embassy of Ecuador in London.  In January 2018, Julian was granted Ecuadorian citizenship.  Assange was arrested in 2019 after being evicted from the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, where he had sought refuge to avoid being sent to Sweden over allegations of rape and sexual assault.  The 48-year-old Australian has been indicted in the U.S. on 18 charges over the publication of classified documents.  Prosecutors say he conspired with U.S. Army intelligence analyst Chelsea Manning to crack a password, hack into a Pentagon computer and release secret diplomatic cables and military files on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Trump stood on his soap box and threw a conniption saying that he loves Wikileaks and he publicly encouraged Russians to hack Hillary’s emails, but now he changed his mind and he is currently saying, “I know nothing about Wikileaks”.  Assange chose to play around in espionage and the First Amendment doesn’t give anyone a license to jeopardize national security, especially an unsavory character that is using dubious methods.  Julian has set a bad precedent for the future of the internet and he made his bed, so he should have to sleep in it.  Whether he is found guilty or innocent, doesn’t really bother me, but I am interested in what the final decision is about him.  Many people think he is a good guy who got a bad deal, but I disagree as united we fell to the hackers.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Exonerate, for the Daily Spur prompt – Feed, for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday hosted by Dylan, for FOWC with Fandango – Survive, for Jibber Jabber by Sue – Box, for August Monthly Writing Prompts – United we fell, for Ragtag Community – Lies, for Reena’s Exploration Challenge prompt 150 – Illusions, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Play Sorry Final and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Conniption.

Profanity

In 1972, George Carlin created a list of the seven dirty words that you were not allowed to say on television and this was always fun for me to say shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.  The Germans actually invented the word Schmutzwortsuche which is used to mean looking up dirty words in the dictionary.  The dictionary actually lists a meaning for the phrase “dirty word”, which is defined as a word, expression, or idea that is disagreeable or unpopular in a particular frame of reference.  People tend to get their knickers in a twist over ridiculous things, as sticks and stones can break our bones, but words can never hurt us.  Some words are considered to be socially offensive and saying them is deemed cursing, cussing or swearing, but for me that is where all the fun is and the really bad words have always been my favorite ones.

A curse implies damning or punishing someone, while a swear word suggests blasphemy, where you are invoking a deity to empower your words, like in saying God dam it.  Both of these words are considered to be profanity, because they are vulgar, socially unacceptable and shouldn’t be used in polite conversation.  An expletive is a bad word that is uttered when you are startled or become mad at something.  Some words can be abrupt, coarse, curt, fresh, impertinent, impudent, rude, saucy, uncivilized, uncouth, uncultured, unmannerly, unrefined, or vulgar.

I figured that I should give this Schmutzwortsuche thing a try today and the first word with potential that I came across was the word aholehole, which I figured would be a winner, till I read that this is the name of a species of Hawaiian flagtail fish native to the central Pacific.  Then I found Assapanick, only to learn that this is another name for the flying squirrel.  I continued my search and came across the word bumfiddler and I first glance I thought this was going to be about ass play, but it turned out that to bumfiddle means to pollute or spoil something, in particular by scribbling or drawing on a document to make it invalid.  I guess that I probably already know all of the really good words in the dictionary.

Written for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Schmutzwortsuche.