Trusting as Little as Possible in the Next One

I wrote some nonsense
A bad habit from whence
Couldn’t conjugate the tense
Smelling frankincense
Put in my two cents
Moving forward hence
Gained a false sense
A little bit dense
Got off the fence
About Mike Pence
Very intense
So much suspense
Becoming immense
No need for pretense
Not a sentence
Justice to dispense
Going on offence
Should I offer recompense
Deduct the expense
Try to condense
Consulting Hortence
Poetic license

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “Uncontrollable Nonsense” hosted by Yves.

The Punk Test

I read this book when I was young that was about teenage social acceptance and gangs, and in order to get into this one gang, you had to pass the punk test.  This involved letting somebody burn your hand with a lit cigarette.  When I was a Senior in High School, I hung out with a group of these six Freshman girls, who I thought were pretty cool.  I told them about the punk test and they all wanted to be burnt, to prove that they were not punks.

I told them that I was not interested in getting burnt with a cigarette, but they all dared each other and all six of them burnt each other with cigarettes.  It was awful and sometimes I can still smell the burning flesh.  It is amazing what people will do to prove that they are not punks.  I felt bad because if I didn’t tell them this story, then none of them would have done this.  I was the only one to punk out, but I was also the only one not in pain.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “Dare” hosted by Yves.

Paragon of Virtue

Julie Andrews always made me smile, especially when she sang ‘My Favorite Things’.

Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells
And schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver-white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “What makes you smile” hosted by Yves.

First Circle of Hell

Limbo is an intermediate place between Heaven and Hell, where unbaptized babies and innocents were thought to be sent, before the church under Pope Benedict XVI abolished this place from their teachings.  Limbo could also refer to the dance competition where you have to go under a horizontal bar with your back to the ground.  There is no punishment in limbo, but are you are deprived of any joy.  No one knows what happens to human souls following death, but almost every religion believes in some type of afterlife, along with hell, the devil and punishment for sinners.  The church wisely decided that people should not be punished for something that they did which is out of their control and is not their own fault, thus they went against what St Augustine concluded about infants who died without baptism in the fifth century.  In the 14th century, the poet Dante described limbo as the “first circle of hell” in The Divine Comedy, where these souls were not punished but grieved because they were separated from God and denied entry to paradise.  Limbo became a more tolerable place of eternal isolation, as compared to purgatory, where sin and defects of soul are purged.

Limbo was on the outer boundary of Hell, just across the River Acheron. Dante arrived at Limbo after boarding Charon and taking control of an Asterian Beast, who was one big bad mama jama.  Limbo is dark, a foreboding place of grand buildings and structures.  On the opposite side of the Citadel of Limbo, near the end of the circle, stood the serpentine fallen King Minos, the Judge of the Damned who captures the damned sinners and hurls them down to their specific circle to meet their eternal punishment.  Minos denies Dante access to any further level and they do battle and Dante manages to kill Minos, by placing his tongue on a torture device which splits his face in half, and then Virgil and Dante continue onto Lust, the second circle of hell.

Sitting here in limbo
But I know it won’t be long
Sitting here in limbo
Like a bird without a song
Well, they’re
Putting up resistance
But I know that my faith
Will lead me on
Sitting here in limbo
Waiting for the dice to roll
Sitting here in limbo
Got some time to search my soul
Well, they’re
Putting up resistance
But I know that my faith
Will lead me on
I don’t know where life will lead me
But I know where I’ve been
I can’t say what life will show me
But I know what I’ve seen
Tried my hand
At love and friendship
But all that is passed and gone
This little boy is moving on
Sitting here in limbo
Waiting for the tide to flow
Sitting here in limbo
Knowing that I have to go
Well, they’re
Putting up resistance
But I know that my faith
Will lead me on
I can’t say what life will show me
But I know what I’ve seen
I can’t say where life will lead me
But I know where I’ve been
Tried my hand
At love and friendship
But all that is passed and gone
This little boy is moving on
Sitting here in limbo
Waiting for the tide to flow
Sitting here in limbo
Knowing that I have to go
Well, they’re
Putting up resistance
But I know that my faith
Will lead me on
Sitting in limbo, sitting in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo)
Sitting in limbo, sitting in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo)
Sitting in limbo, sitting in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo)
Sitting in limbo, limbo, limbo
Sitting in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo)
Sitting in limbo, limbo, limbo
Limbo, limbo
Sitting in limbo, sitting in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo)
Sitting in limbo, sitting in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo)
Don’t know if it’s got to be so
Don’t know if it’s got to be so (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo))
Sitting in limbo, sitting here in limbo (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo)
But I know we won’t belong now
I know we won’t belong (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo)
Hey, yeah (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo)
Ah ha ha ha ha (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo)
Ah ah ah ah ha (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo)
Sitting in limbo, limbo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (limbo, limbo, limbo, limbo)

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “Limbo” hosted by Yves.

The Fuss About Karen

Karen is the name that retail workers give to their problem customers.  This person is the divorced mother of three unruly kids and she feels entitled in every store, thus she always finds a reason to speak with the manager, while boasting about how wonderful her kids are.  Karen enjoys voicing her complaints, making demands, and generally being a nag.  Karen buys into MLMs Multi-level marketing which is also called pyramid selling and she spams Facebook all the time trying to pitch the scheme.  Karen is annoying as hell, being an obnoxious, middle-aged white woman and she has short hair and always wears fake acrylic nails.  She has become the butt of many recent jokes like giving out raisins to kids on Halloween.  She drives a Volvo SUV to carpool her kids to soccer practice, and if the ref makes a bad call she will threaten to sue!  Karen loves to use Snapagram, which is basically Instagram and Snapchat mixed together to post her workout selfies and she is also known to sit down with her mom friends at book club and drink lots and lots of wine.

The name Karen might stem from a 2007 bit by Dane Cook called “The Friend Nobody Likes.”  (The friend was named Karen.)  Another explanation is that it comes from the character Karen in the 2004 film Mean Girls, who’s the subject of the popular quote: “Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask someone why they’re white.”  It’s even been put forth that Karen comes the even earlier 1990 film Goodfellas, one of whose characters is named Karen.  There are many great women out there named Karen and my sister is one of them, but the name Karen is being gaslighted to make some of these women doubt their own sanity.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “Gaslight” hosted by Yves.

I Think It’s Gonna Be All Right

When I was young, I was fascinated with bouncing rubber balls, especially those red rubber balls made by Spalding and I played a lot of stickball and stoop ball with them.  There don’t seem to be as many stoops around anymore and for stickball we played against a wall that had a strike zone, or we would play out in the street using a broomstick for a bat. Things have changed and most kids stay inside now and play video games.

‘Red Rubber Ball’ is a pop song written by Paul Simon and Bruce Woodley of The Seekers and recorded by the American rock and roll band The Cyrkle, whose version reached #2 in 1966 on the US Billboard Hot 100.  The Cyrkle were known as the Rhondells, a frat rock band formed as a lark in 1961 by Lafayette College students in Easton, Pennsylvania Tom Dawes (bass/vocals), Don Danneman (guitar/vocals).  Marty Fried eventually joined the group on drums and Earl Pickens played keyboards.  Paul Simon saw them performing at a club in New York when he was in the audience and he asked Tom Dawes to go on tour with him and Garfunkel as their bassist.  Paul offered the Rhondells ‘Red Rubber Ball’, along with a few more of his songs, including ‘Cloudy’ and ‘I Wish You Could Be Here’.  Brian Epstein became their manager and he renamed the group when John Lennon came up with this new name which was a clever a play on spelling like the Byrds used, trading a ‘y’ for the ‘i’.

The Beatles song ‘Paperback Writer’ kept ‘Red Rubber Ball’ out of the number one spot.  ‘Red Rubber Ball’ is sung from the perspective of a man who is exiting (or has recently exited) an unfulfilling relationship in which his significant other never gave him much attention or affection.  The guy is sullen, as he feels like he is being treated like an ornament, thinking that he is only arm candy for this girl because her reason for being with him is that it makes her look good, like putting on jewelry.  He now looks forward to the future with a positive attitude.

After Brian Epstein died in the summer of 1967, the energy behind and within the group began to dissipate, and as a result The Cyrkle disbanded in 1968, but Tom Dawes and Don Danneman went on to successful careers as commercial jingle writers.  Danneman wrote jingles for both Swanson Foods and Continental Airlines, while Dawes came up with the famous “plop plop fizz fizz” jingle for Alka Seltzer, “7-Up, the UnCola”, “Our L’eggs Fit Your Legs”, “Coke Is It”, “You’re the One” for McDonald’s and many others.  L’eggs is a brand of pantyhose introduced in 1969 by Hanes.  The hosiery was placed in white plastic oversized chicken-egg-shaped containers, this sheer nylon was designed by Roger Ferriter and it became the top-selling brand.

I should have known you’d bid me farewell
There’s a lesson to be learned from this and I learned it very well
Now I know you’re not the only starfish in the sea
If I never hear your name again, it’s all the same to me
And I think it’s gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin’ sun is shinin’ like a red rubber ball
You never care for secrets I confide
For you I’m just an ornament, somethin’ for your pride
Always runnin’, never carin’, that’s the life you live
Stolen minutes of your time were all ya had to give
And I think it’s gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin’ sun is shinin’ like a red rubber ball
The story’s in the past with nothin’ to recall
I’ve got my life to live and I don’t need you at all
The roller-coaster ride we took is nearly at an end
I bought my ticket with my tears, that’s all I’m gonna spend
And I think it’s gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin’ sun is shinin’ like a red rubber ball
Oh, oh, oh, I think it’s gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin’ sun is shinin’ like a red rubber ball

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “5 by 5” hosted by Yves where we are given a material, a music genre, a sound, a characteristic and a missing item your are asked to choose a Material – Leather/Fur, Wool, Cotton, Polyester or Nylon, then choose a Music Genre – Rock, Blues, Hip Hop, Indie or Classical and choose a Sound – Teeth Grinding, Bouncing Rubber Ball, Acrylic Nails Tapping Hard Surface, Rusty Metal Gate Opening or a Knife Ripping Through Sheet, then choose a Characteristic – Quixotic, Crotchety, Coquettish, Sullen or Sinister and finally choose a Missing Item – Wallet/Purse, Phone, Clothing Article, Jewelry or Book/Paperwork.

What Came First

Two men were arguing about what came first, the chicken or the egg.  The taller man said, “All chickens come from eggs and there would never be any chickens, if there were no chicken eggs first.”  The other man that was shorter and had a moustache said, “I disagree, the chicken came first, because you cannot have a chicken egg, unless it was laid by a chicken.”  I jumped into the conversation and said, “Let’s say that a reptile laid an egg from which an eagle hatched, that would surely make it an eagle egg, not a reptile egg, so the first chicken must have come from a chicken egg, even if that egg did not come from a chicken.  If it comes out of the egg as a chicken, there must have been a chicken inside the egg in the first place.”  My friend Joe joined in and said, “This is very deep and the only thing that is clear to me is that both sides of this argument seem possible, but somebody is wrong, however it is not clear to me, who is right and who is wrong.”

The tall man said, “The chicken”, and the mustached man replied, “No the egg.”  This went on and on, “No the chicken,” and “No the egg,” as it became an exercise in utter futility.  Joe said, “The chicken would have to have come first to ensure that someone keeps the egg warm, so that it could hatch.  Who else would sit on a chicken egg, but a chicken and a chicken egg will never hatch unless a chicken sits on it for 21 days, otherwise the egg will remain just an egg and it will never become a chicken.”  I said, “Chickens are animals and they do not grow out of the ground or spring up from thin air, they come from eggs.  This discussion may never be settled and I am not an eggspert, but all this talk of chickens and eggs is making me hungry.”

Joe said, “I know a nice place where we can go for dinner tonight, but that is still a few hours away, so I hope you can wait.” The mustached man said, “Do you know why the pervert crossed the road?”  The taller man said, “No, please tell me.”  The mustached man replied, “It is because he was stuck to a chicken.”  The mustached man laughed and said, “I get it, the pervert was having sex with the chicken and he needed to get to the other side.  I have never heard that one, but do you know why the duck crossed the road?”  The taller man said, “That was because it was the chicken’s day off, or possibly the duck was trying to prove that he was not a chicken.”

I am excited because I just made the About page Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie and you can check out my profile here: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/about/

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt “Egg”.