She Was an Animal in Bed

She did things that made the earth move under my feet, but it was the sounds that she made in bed that sent me over the edge.  My heart went boom when she walked across the room, she knew just how to touch me to make me melt.  I met her in a barroom in Memphis, she covered me in roses and then she blew my mind.  Marianne Faithfull and Anita Pallenberg knew how to moan and groan, but my girl put them to shame, as she was the only one who could make me feel this way.  She had a thing for making that perfect sound, she would groan, grunt, moan, pant, and squeal, which always made me want to mess around.  She had a gift for articulate language and her voice always touched the right spot for me.

There was the heavy breathing followed by the dirty talk and then came those gushy words of encouragement, “Yes, oh yes, that is the spot”, which always did the trick for me.  She was the poster child for the totally uninhibited woman who used her sexual freedom to express herself.  Under the right circumstances, she just made it happen.  She knew how to synchronize her “Ahh, ahh, ahh” vocalization to the movement of her undulating body.  These sex sounds served as our communication when we were approaching orgasmic bliss.  She let me know what gave her pleasure and enjoyment and these amorphous noises always encouraged me to do it again and again.  Her animal sounds always me feel confident in my abilities, but sometimes I wondered who let the dogs out.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is animal sounds.

Dancing Cheek to Cheek

It is best to turn the other cheek, that way you will get hit on both sides of your face and you will have a better chance of ending up being symmetrical and we all know that beauty is symmetry.  Am I supposed to kiss her on the cheek?  I never know how that works and I only do that if it is offered, where someone moves their cheek toward me.  What is with the double cheek kiss, is this only done in certain countries?  You know they give you a cheek to kiss and then turn their head and give you the other?  Is there any meaning to be taken from which cheek is offered first to you?  I guess it is better than the forehead kiss, or the hand or wrist kiss and all of these are better than the ass kiss.

Why does Trump wear so much makeup on his face, as it looks like he cakes that stuff on really thick, which I find distracting.  I guess if my skin was orange that I would probably try something?  Trump has been a blowhard his whole life and maybe he has puckered his cheeks up so many times that it has affected his skin tone.  What is the deal with pinching a baby on its cheeks?  I have never done that, but I have seen people doing it and it is usually accompanied by a “coochee, coochee coo” and followed by laughter.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is cheek.

Time for Fandango to Unpack

A stream of consciousness writing challenge is a time for the writer to unpack their thoughts and let their words flow out.  I am not saying that you have to let it all hang out, as you need to be like Sloopy and hang on to what you got, while you are letting some air out of the bag.  I have no clue what in the hell I am writing about, but I am unpacking it and I am going to leave it all out on the field, just like Aaron Rodgers and the Packers did this year.  Now I have moved on and I am thinking about Jeffrey Dahmer who lived in Milwaukee and he packed his refrigerator with human body parts, so he could snack on them later.  OK, I just lost all of my readers, and I am still not done unpacking yet.

I keep getting email from WinZip which is a company that makes software that allows you to compress or decompress files and they call this packing and unpacking.  It is not easy going through airports these days as security checks dictate that you put all of your liquids and gels into a one-quart plastic bag and you also have to take off your shoes and maybe your belt.  I just came back from a trip to North Carolina and I think that airports should provide seats for everyone after the screening, so you can put your shoes back on.

Since I am already all over the place with this post, I will tell you a story about over packing.  When my wife and I first got married, we lived in an apartment that had a communal laundry room that was located in the basement of the building that we lived in.  We had to lug our dirty clothes down there, bringing our own detergent along and lots of quarters for the machines.  It was a dark and nasty place, as we would often see spider webs there, and some of our neighbors were assholes.  We got a timeshare that we used for vacations and it was a brand-new building and we had our own washer and dryer right in our unit.  My wife liked it so much, that she packed extra clothes for our trips, so she could wash then there.

OK, I know that is totally crazy, but you would have gotten a good laugh if you saw me carrying all of the luggage through the airport.  I had worked as a busboy and also as a caddy on a golf course, so I was very adept at handling multiple things at the same time, but I had two bags in my hands and two bags tucked under my arms and I was able to push one along in front of me while dragging one behind me and I had my golf clubs strung around my neck.  I guess you just had to be there to really appreciate this.  It is time for me to pack this post away, but before I do that, I will leave you with this special song.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is unpack.

Comme Ci, Comme Ça

That is a French saying that means so-so, like it does not matter.  If asked, “Was your food good?”, you might respond by saying, “I ate it, didn’t I.”  In the song ‘Dancing In The Street’ it says “It doesn’t matter what you wear, just as long as you are there.”  Somethings in life are insignificant and whatever path you choose; things may work out the same way.  The road taken may give you different experiences, but if you started out your journey on your left foot instead of your right foot that probably would not have made a big difference in your trip, so I guess it doesn’t matter anyway.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is to discuss making small, uneventful choices.

The Two Towers

I was on an interview that day and it seemed to be going really well, but the guy interviewing me said that he wanted somebody else to talk with me, however they were in a meeting at that time and he wondered if I could wait around.  Hey I was already out of work for three months at this time and I drove 90 miles to get to this interview, so I assured him that would not be a problem.  He suggested that I go out to a coffee shop and come back in an hour.  I found a coffee shop just down the street and I ordered a cup of coffee and a pastry.  I sat at a table and I was able to see the TV which had the news on and that kept me entertained.

I saw a report of a plane that hit the tower and I didn’t understand what was going on and somebody in the coffee shop said, “Turn the volume up.”  This was absolutely crazy as black smoke was pouring out of this hole in the World Trade Center and then another plane struck the other tower.  I didn’t want to go back for the interview and I drove straight home.  There were no radio stations on the air, it was static as all radio communications were broadcast from the World Trade Center and worse yet, there was no cell coverage.  I could not get a signal on my phone and all I wanted to do was call my wife and tell her what I saw.  I got through to her on the land line after I reached my house, but because she was a hospital worker, she had to stay as they were told that they might be receiving a lot of emergency cases.

I sat in front of my TV the rest of the day and binge watched all the news programs.  A month later I got a call from that company and they told me that I was hired.  Nothing was ever mentioned about me not coming back.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is the movie title of the last movie that I just watched and this happened to be Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

From My Second Book

The first sentence of my still unpublished book which is titled the Ancient Book of Eli is, “Eli is tall, his skin is bronzed, and his body is athletically chiseled from lifting boulders, stones and rocks.”  Linda asks us to use the first three words from the first full sentence leaving me with “Eli is tall”.  Off I go into the wild blue yonder with another Stream of Consciousness Saturday and I plan to take it to the limit and then bring this one home.  I always thought that Eli was a very Biblical name and that is why I used it for the main character in my book.  In 2010 a movie was made called The Book of Eli, which I was not aware of till I saw it later on watching it on Netflix.  I wrote my book in 2014 and I used the same name for my book as this movie did, but then I altered it slightly after seeing the Denzel Washington film, which aired at the end of 2014.  The movie was about an apocalyptic future world, which was different from the setting in my book, being around the time of Jesus, so I went with the Ancient Book of Eli.

Tall is a relative word, as someone who is five foot seven inches tall would appear to be tall to a person that is only five foot tall.  Relative is actually a relative word, as it can be something that exists in relation or in proportion to something else, or it can be someone that you share a family connection with.  The premise of my book is that Eli is a step cousin of Jesus, as Joseph the step father of Jesus had a brother who had a son named Eli, so Eli is a relative of Jesus.  I guess that I covered Eli and tall, so what can I say about the word Is?

It took two years for me to write this book and during that time all of my characters became real to me, so I knew exactly what they were going to say or do in every situation.  To is or not to is, that be the question.  Ok I bastardized that Shakespeare quote, so I will try again.  If at first you don’t succeed, you can try to love again.  It is what it is, I am what I am, you are who you are, he was who he was, they were who they were, and there ain’t nothing that can be done about it, that is what is up doc.  I could have started out my book with “Eli was tall”, as if this guy Eli ever existed, he has been dead for almost 2000 years now, but I wanted my readers to feel like they were part of the action, so I used the word IS. Sometimes you win and as I think of it now, I killed this post today.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “three words”, which I selected from my own book.


How now brown cow is a phrase that is used to help children sound out vowels, but bow wow barked the dog, as he chased the cat who went meow, is something that I just made up.  I could come up with more words that feature a different sound that is formed by the combination of the two letters “ow” like town, clown, frown, down, crown or others that have a different rhyme like vowel, bowel and owl.  Another combination of these two letters will give us words with an altogether different sound like low and slow.  Maybe you would rather have willow or pillow and there are some that don’t actually rhyme like widow and window.  The time to act is now, while the Dow is still up.  I should top off my tank soon, as gas prices are expected to increase, because of the drone strike that killed the Iranian General Soleimani.  He was a bad guy and he probably deserved to die and I wonder if he said ow when the bomb landed on his head.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “ow”.