Non-Adventurous

I usually only eat certain foods and I don’t go out of my way to try new things, but today I will get slightly out of my comfort zone and try a slice of the mincemeat pie that my cousin baked.  I have had chicken pot pie before, but apparently mincemeat pie doesn’t have any meat in it, as it is made from a mixture of dried fruits and spices, which sounds pretty good.  Not the name mincemeat, as that sounds awful and that is what has prevented me from ever trying this before, along with the fact that nobody has ever previously offered any to me.  I am expecting it to taste yummy, but if not, there is also some cheesecake and ice cream that I could have instead.

I am a picky eater and the one thing that makes me different from most others is that I don’t eat onions, which I feel are yucky, the opposite of yummy.  There are a lot of foods that I would never try, like beets, as I smelled one once and I have never wanted to taste any.  One thing that I have never had the guts to try is head cheese, the ugly cousin in the cold cut family.  The stuff looks disgusting, and the name is just plain nasty.  I guess it is possible that it tastes good, but I don’t know anyone that has ever tried it.  There is a chance that it tastes like a rat’s ass, but I don’t know anyone who has ever eaten the ass of a rat either.  I tried sushi once and I spit it out and maybe I am a coward for not trying other types of sushi, but I saw no reason for that, although others brag about how good it tastes.  My Christmas dinner will be baked ham with pineapple glaze, whipped potatoes, acorn squash with apples, green beans, apple sauce and biscuits.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where today the prompt is to use the word “yum” and have fun with it.

Chili Today Hot Tamale

The weather in Florida remains pretty much steady throughout the year, but this upcoming Winter is expected to be cooler than normal, with the coldest temperatures in mid- and late December and mid-January and from late January into early February.  We had a warmer start to December than normal this year, and I am not complaining, but we could see temperatures down in the 40’s when the cold front comes.  I have to laugh at the Floridians that have lived here their whole lives, as when the temperatures drop into the 60’s here, they all start wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts.  When it gets into the 50’s, they start wearing their winter jackets.  When it reaches the 40’s, the winter coats come out, along with the hats, gloves and scarfs.  It doesn’t happen much, but when the temperatures get down into the 30’s, everyone stays inside and complains about the cold.

When viewed on a map or a globe the Northern hemisphere is above the equator while the Southern hemisphere is below the equator and the seasons are opposites.  I told my girlfriend that I was up for going out to dinner tonight and she said that she was down with that.  I started singing, “On top of old Smokey” and she started singing, “Way down below the ocean.”  We are complete opposites, perfectly polarized in opposite directions, and when I want to move forward, she puts it in reverse, but since opposites attract, we stay together.  She likes it hot and I prefer the cold.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where today the prompt is to use the word “opposites” or write about things that are opposites.

Not Actually a Tree

Joshua Trees grow in the Mojave Desert and they look like palm trees and act like a cactus, as they can store water and they are called succulents.  The story says that a group of Mormons were in the Mojave Desert when they spot this odd shaped tree and one of them exclaims, “It looks like Joshua holding out his hands to guide the Israelites across Canaan”, and the tree had a name.  Joshua had spent 40 years roaming around in the desert after leaving Egypt till God finally let the Israelites into the Promised Land.  The problem with this, was that the Promised Land was occupied and in order to settle in this land, the Israelites had to conquer everyone.  After the Israelites won the battle of Jericho, they set their sights on the city of Ai.  The Old Testament God was a vengeful God who demanded compliance and often tested the faith of His people.  A man named Achan was disobedient by taking spoils from Jericho and because of the sin of Achan, the Israelite army was defeated at the small city of Ai.

Joshua was a man of great faith, and he was upset after this humiliating defeat, so he lifted up his arms and looked up at the sky to pray for direction.  Once Achan and his family were punished, the sin was purged, and God told Joshua that he would have a victory over Ai.  Joshua had some of his men move away from the city to set an ambush.  When the men of Ai saw Joshua, they chased after him, but the plan was to lure them away from the city.  God tells Joshua to hold out a javelin and this was the signal for the men waiting in ambush to attack the city.  These men set the city on fire and as the men of Ai see their city burning, Joshua stops running away, turns around and they start fighting their pursuers.  Twelve thousand men and women of Ai were killed that day by the Israelites.

I don’t see these Joshua trees looking anything like Joshua lifting up his arms and looking at the sky to pray, but I guess people see what they want to see.  The Mormons were searching for their own Promised Land, and this may be why they were thinking about Joshua.  I guess it is possible that some of these Mormons may have stumbled upon some peyote buttons in the Mojave Desert and that helped them to see this, but we will probably never know why they saw Joshua in this tree, that is not actually a tree.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where today the prompt is to use the word tree.

Word Finder

I am not going to search for words that fit the prompt, as instead I will provide a running monologue of what transpires in my head.  Nobody really understands me, but I don’t think anyone has to be afraid of what is going on inside of my head, as it is mostly filled with empty space.  With that warning, gentlemen rev your engines as you approach the starting line.  I never had a really fast car, and I only went to one car race, which I didn’t really enjoy.  The cars were too damn loud and all they did was drive around in the same circle.  I was young, probably about seven when my dad took my brother and I to the Milwaukee 250, but I am not sure if it was Indy or NASCAR, or whatever it was.  I enjoyed going to the snack bar the most, where my dad bought me hotdogs and sodas.  I think that we left early because none of us were having a good time watching the race.

My dad enjoyed spending time with his family, and he taught me how to play golf, he took me out fishing and he taught me all about football.  He enjoyed having a beer and watching the Sunday NFL games.  He was a Giants fan, and I became a Giants fan also.  I watched the Heidi Bowl with my dad, and he had money on the Jets beating the Raiders and when the game was cut short to put on that stupid movie, and I forever remember how mad he was.  He was a storyteller and I never got tired of listening to his stories, or the jokes that he would tell.  I realize that it is not Father’s Day, but sometimes that is how your stream of consciousness works.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where today the prompt is to find a word that contains “rev”.

Who Talks Like That

I actually said “Golly gee” one time when I was swimming in a private pool with this drunk girl after she said, “oops my top fell off”.  It was the only response that I could come up with that seemed appropriate for the situation.  I was invited to a friend’s house, who I knew, but actually never really hung out with.  His name was Rory and he was best friends with Albert who was dating Peggy Sue, who had just split up with Albert.  Peggy Sue was over at Rory’s house and she was sad about her recent breakup, so she started drinking very early that day.  Another couple was there, Jeff who I knew pretty well and Irene who was a good friend of Peggy Sue.  Jeff was the one who called me and told me to come to the pool party.  I don’t have any proof, but I always thought that Peggy Sue and Albert along with Jeff and Irene were probably into swinging together or partner swapping from some of the things that Jeff told me.

When I arrived at Rory’s house, Jeff and Irene were in the pool with Peggy Sue, who was clearly sloshed by that time.  I had known Peggy Sue since 8th Grade, which is long before she started dating Albert.  A few minutes after I jumped into the pool, Jeff and Irene got out, leaving me alone with Peggy Sue.  She jumped into my arms, but I resisted her advances out of respect for Albert, who I thought was a nice guy and this was sort of a Bro Code, which said “Bros before hoes” and he had first dibs on her so it was not clear to me that she was on the market yet, as they had just broken up last night.  My thinking that they were most likely swingers, put the whole bro code along with the dibs part basically out the window, but I didn’t want to be the rebound for some drunk girl.  Peggy Sue covered her breasts with her hands when she lost her top and I told her that they are only breasts and she didn’t have to cover them up on my account.

The last thing that I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable, or have her start crying because I was not taking her bait, so I complimented her titties and told her that she looked really nice.  I was trying to react appreciatively and with a sense of gratitude for her being comfortable without her top on in my presence.  I picked up her top which was floating on the top of the water and I offered to help her put it back on.  Peggy Sue told me that she was fine not wearing her top and she was enjoying the unrestricted freedom and the she started kissing me.  As we embraced each other Rory came out by the pool and said that Albert just called and he was on his way over.  Our kiss ended abruptly and Peggy Sue seemed to sober up fast and she put her top back on.  A few years later Albert and Peggy Sue got married and they invited me to their wedding.

Albert and Peggy Sue made a great couple, but I always wondered if I had acted differently, what might have happened between Peggy Sue and I.  I bumped into Peggy Sue a bunch of times at different parties and I always felt this special closeness around her.  I guess she expected me to take charge of the situation and maybe I blew it with her because of my reluctance to move as quickly as she wanted me to.  I will always have my memories of her taking this daring risk, ignoring her modesty and exposing herself for my pleasure.  When Albert arrived at Rory’s house, I was glad that I didn’t go any further than kissing Peggy Sue in the pool that day, or otherwise it would have been very awkward.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where today the prompt is to use “Golly gee” or another interjection that displays the same sentiment in your post.

Monochrome

50 shades of grey are a lot more than just a touch of grey, but it still only contains mixtures of black and white.  What would it be like to live in a world without colors?  I guess if you never saw any colors that you wouldn’t miss them.  50 shades of grey is an erotic romance, but what about Fandango in a Whiter Shade of Pale, which is supposedly a snapshot of a drunken sexual escapade gone awry, reaching its culmination in the oblivion and forgetfulness of sex.  I have never skipped the light fandango, but it is on my bucket list and if I could do the fandango with Scaramouche, I could die a happy man.  If I could Gavotte across the floor with Carley Simon, that would probably be the next best thing, because I still think that song is about me.

The lyrics in this song are very strange, but I think that it is about a groupie that wanted to travel around with the band.  In the beginning the band is partying in some club.  They are skipping the light fandango, turning cartwheels across the floor, someone is feeling seasick, but the crowd called out for more.  The groupie was a party chick probably taking acid, and as the room was humming harder, she saw the ceiling flew away.  Stay with me here, the miller tells this girl a tale which makes her face turn a whiter shade of pale.  I figure that the miller told her that there was no more room for this girl in the entourage, which shocked her.  She knew many of the other groupies that were traveling with the group and she wanted to be with the band and with her friends.  She wanted to be one of the sixteen vestal virgins that would be traveling towards the coast.  The guy singing the song heard her plea, but he was not listening as if his eyes were closed.  And so she did not get to go with them, but I could be totally wrong about all of this.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt today is to use either “black, grey or white”.

I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

According to Plutarch, Julius Caesar uttered this phrase after one of his victories, but it sounded different because it was in Latin.  This is an expression of extreme confidence from a man that had a swift victory and this phrase is still being used today.  If Julius Caesar had said that he went there, looked around and beat the enemy, I don’t think that people would still be saying this.  I would love to be able to coin a phrase, but as of yet, I don’t think that I have ever said anything that has any significance, which you could probably determine from reading my posts.  I love that Conan quote, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!”, even though it sounds vicious and cruel.

I always wondered why she came in through the bathroom window, till I read the story about these groupies that broke into Paul McCartney’s house.  Along came a spider and sat down beside her and then the devil came to Georgia.  It came upon a midnight clear and then along came Mary.  You came a long way baby and some came running when the rain came.  The day that my dreams came true, you came to me.  I came to play, while you came to dance and we came to the party together.  Stoneman’s cavalry came, they came at night and something came over me as they came to kill and others came to hear the music.  Someone came suddenly, but they came in peace.  The doctor came too late, as death already came for me.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt today is to find a word that contains “cam”.

For Your Approval

I pointed to the word approval on the November Cambridge Newsletter and since I have an electronic copy of that I highlighted this word in red (see above).  I volunteered to take over the position as the newsletter editor in January and my first newsletter was issued in February of this year.  I figured it would be good to give back something to the community that I live in and since I am retired, I enjoy writing and I spend a lot of my time on the computer, this became my job.  I must go to the monthly meeting and take notes and then put together the newsletter from the reports of the various committees.  Most of this is a copy and paste and sometimes, I will have to scan the information in first.  There are other sections of the newsletter that are my sole responsibility, like community events, neighborhood events, helpful hints, interesting facts, and jokes.  When I am finished writing I need to send it to the President and the Treasure of the Board of Directors for their approval and then I can take it to the printer.

We had some good news yesterday with the Infrastructure Bill finally getting passed and Biden will sign it soon.  It ended up being a bipartisan bill, because six stubborn Democrats voted against it, but 13 Republicans gave it their approval.  There are many good things in this bill and our country needs this.  There are so many things going on in politics today and this post gives me a good opportunity to address a few of them.  A lot of Republican States do not like the vaccine mandates that are being forced on them, which is for large corporations, and they still have the option of weekly testing if their employees don’t want to take the Covid19 vaccine.  It is like all these little babies are throwing tantrums because they can’t get their own way and they need spankings.  Aaron Rodgers the Green Bay Packer quarterback just tested positive for Covid and because the Players Association for the NFL is so strong, this unvaccinated player will only miss on game for now.  Rodgers claims to be aware of the “woke culture”, meaning that he is “awake to sensitive social issues”, but he says that he has allergies to the vaccine.

Things did not go well for Texas when the Supreme Court looked at the controversial anti-abortion law that they just passed.  The Supreme Court decided that Texas is prohibited from enforcing this anti-abortion law, so that seems like a win for the good guys, but this whole issue is far from being settled.  Joe Biden got a big win, however he needs another one for his Build Back Better plan, which is the reason why the six Democrats that voted against the Infrastructure Bill, as they wanted to have this passed first, because they don’t trust members of their own party.  It is like the biggest babies in the world, are the ones that are running our country.  I think that Nancy Pelosi did a great job handling the cry babies in her party, but there always more waiting in the woodwork.  She knew that she had the votes before she presented it to the House floor.  I am happy this got enough approval, so this country can start moving ahead to do some good things, instead of constantly arguing.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt to close your eyes and point to a word on the printed material that is nearest to you.

Knock Knock

When I hear that I am supposed to pretend that someone is at the door and try to find out who it is, so I would ask, “Who is there?”  A conversation ensues between the person at the door and the person responding to the knock and if the knocking person might say “Boo”, then I would have to respond “Boo who”.  Then the punch line is delivered and the knocking person will ask me what am I crying about.  I think that this may have been the first joke that I ever heard, but it is probably only funny for kids.  Sticking with children, but switching to medical, when a kid gets a cut or a scrape, which they often do, they will go running to their mama to tell her that they have a boo boo.

A person that makes a lot of mistakes, or acts like an idiot is often called a boob.  Boob is such a nice word along with its cousin the boobie, and since human breasts come in pairs, that gives us boobs and boobies.  Men have boobs just like women, but they usually have a lot less breast tissue, however a man that is obese can have man boobs.  Boobs come in different sizes and shapes and they can be augmented by having them reduced or enhanced, depending on what people think is more desirable.  A woman that has small boobs may say that anything more than a handful is a waste and another woman who has large boobs may say the bigger the better.  I don’t really have a preference, although I do appreciate cleavage.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt to find a word with the letters “boo” in it or use “boo” as is.

For Sale

Auto body parts include things like mirrors, headlights, tail lights, bumpers, fenders, hoods, grilles and doors, but more money can be made by selling human body parts.  I don’t want to turn this into a Jeffrey Dahmer post, but it is getting really close to Halloween and I want to have some fun.  I am listed as an organ donor on my Driver’s Licence and if I get into a fatal accident and somebody can use any of my body parts, they are welcome to have them.  A new business has developed called body brokers which are firms that specialize in harvesting organs for transplant.  They go to the morgues at hospitals and try to talk people when they’re at their most vulnerable, into giving up the body parts pf their recently departed relatives by pretending to have noble intentions, but what these companies really do is get the body and chop it up and sell the parts all around the country.  Cadavers and body parts, especially those of the poor, are sold to researchers, universities, medical training facilities and others in a thriving and largely unregulated market.  Pretty grisly stuff is going on, as they sell the heads, arms, legs, hips, genitalia for all different purposes.

Some people can get money by selling their hair, but I am out of luck in that department, unless someone is interested in my nose hair, as I probably should do some trimming there.  There are potential risks involved in responding to hospitals and researchers that are conducting clinical trials, which they need so they can test their new drugs or other treatments on you, but the money is supposed to be good, although I don’t think that I will be signing up for any of these trials any time soon.  Some blood banks will pay you to donate your blood or plasma.  A healthy male can sell their sperm, women can sell their eggs and some may be able to sell their sell breast milk.  A woman can rent out part of their body and agree to carry someone’s baby for nine.  It’s illegal to sell or purchase organs in the US, but certain states will allow you to sell your stem cells or bone marrow and you could get paid well for this, but I heard that it is very painful.  You may even be able to sell your poop for money to patients that need this for difficile infections (disruption of normal healthy bacteria in the colon, often caused from antibiotics).  That is going on my bucket list, as I think it would be a great conversation starter to tell someone how much money my shit is worth.  Some people get tattoos put on their skin and sell this as ad space to companies that want to see their logo displayed.  I am going to leave you with a song about a cold-blooded serial murderer, because I think it fits the prompt perfectly.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is body parts.