More Milk

Minneapolis, Minnesota’s minister maintains marriage must be between a man and a woman.  He says that sex can only be done for procreation thus making masturbation a mortal sin.  My magnificent mother made me make more meaningful melancholy music.  Michael masterfully matriculated majoring in modern mad magic.  Mathew manufactured maps, marking melting memories of metal meteors.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is to start your post with the letter m.

Really Bad at Spelling

My wife would often get mad at me for misspelling cheese on the shopping list and I will always thank God that somebody invented spell checker.  I would say, “Hey it is a shopping list, so it doesn’t have to be perfect, cut me some slack please.”  Many people think that I know a lot of things, but the truth is that I am just good at looking stuff up, as I am a research writer.  I look a lot of things up, facts to find out what really went down and words to find their meanings.  In my first engineering job, I learned what digability is and I don’t think that it is an actual word, but this guy told me that I would need to develop this skill if I wanted to be any good at being an engineer.

In Engineering you often have to figure things out and there is always going to be more than one way to skin a cat.  I started out as a drafter in the electrical department at an engineering firm when I first got my Associates degree in Electrical Engineering Technology and just about everything that I learned in college was useless, because I didn’t know anything about drafting or what relay logic was.  Actually, I never even heard of a relay before and if one landed on head, I would not have recognized it.  I developed digability skills out of necessity, as I wanted to advance in my career and I wanted to learn about stuff.  If I didn’t know something, I would search for it and many times I would find something that would lead me to something else and I might find that it had a different twist, but at least I had something to go on.  I think that digability should be a real word, because it has been in my life for over 40 years now and because of this word I have learned many things.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “a word that you have to look up”.

Fair to Midland

I have had better days, but I don’t like to complain.  I watched the Netflix special Above Us Only Sky on what would have been John Lennon’s 80th birthday last night and I found it very enjoyable.  It started out as a middle of the road documentary on the making of his Imagine album, but it got better as I began to understand Yoko.  I was always told that she was responsible for the Beatles breaking up and I never liked her singing (if you can call it that), but she was the one person that completed John and without her, he never would have become truly happy.  I learned a lot and it was great to see John in the video singing this song that was voted the song of the century.  It is probably his best song and he is not just a medium songwriter.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “medium”.

Orange is the New Trump

Neil Young acquired a 1953 Gibson Les Paul which he used when he was in Buffalo Springfield, he named it Old Black and he has been playing this same guitar for almost 50 years.  Johnny Cash was called the man in black and Three Dog night had a big hit with Black and White.  Everything is not a black and white situation and you can’t go around painting everything black, but Black Lives Matter is an important issue. 

My dad was a TV repairman and I have always had a TV set in every home that I lived in.  I remember when everything was in black and white and then when I was 5, we got our first color TV set.  Most of the programs were still in black and white and only a half a dozen shows were in color at that time, but commercials came out in color.  Think of how cool it looked when Dorothy landed in OZ and everything turned from black and white to color, that scene made the movie come alive.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “new/old”.

Ruined my Weed

My friends and I all had tickets to see the Grateful Dead up in Boston and I had this great weed saved for the trip and the concert.  I don’t know why I was paranoid about transporting my weed, but I was so I stuffed my bag inside of a container that held scented talcum powder.  We rented a hotel room that had enough room for twelve of us to stay in and we arrived the day before the concert.  When I got to the room, I took my bag of weed out and rolled up some joints, but they were spoiled from the scent of the powder.  Nobody would smoke my joints, as they burnt your throat and they had a revolting taste.  I was a bit disappointed about this, but live and learn as they say.

I went out for a walk with three of my friends and we went through this area known as the Combat Zone where all of the prostitutes congregated.  We were not looking for sex, we just wanted to see what was going on there.  These two girls came up to us, so we started talking with them and one of the girls started rubbing my crotch.  I felt her other hand on my wallet and I grabbed it and said, “Honey you got to be a lot quicker than that to rip me off.”  After this encounter we went back to the hotel and told are other friends to watch out for the pick pockets.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is container.

Temptation Inspiration Overstimulation Normalization

I was tempted to Google “find words that end with the letters tion”, but that would not be a Stream of Consciousness writing piece, and it would also take all the fun out of this, so I will wing it and see how it comes out.  You say that you want a revolution and you want to change the Constitution, well the Beatles tried that and failed in their attempt.  I am feeling a lot of aggravation over what I heard Mitch McConnell say this morning about rushing a new appointee to the Supreme Court.  I am not going to have a conniption over this, but this would clearly be a disruption of justice.  I guess I could write a Billy Joel type poem where I state a bunch of words that end with the letters “tion”, like addition, substitution, tuition and so on and then state that I didn’t start the fire, but that won’t give me any satisfaction.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is to find words that end with the letters “tion”.

Smoke Alarm

I had a two-bedroom apartment in North Carolina where I lived with my 70-pound German Shepard Gale, who I rescued from a shelter.  She was on the aggressive side, never biting anyone, but always willing to chase cats and bark at other dogs, as she saw herself as an alpha.  I guess Gale could be described as all bark and no bite, as she really enjoyed barking and she used this to boss around other dogs.  I never let her out without a leash, for her safety and also because I never knew what kind of trouble she would get into.  Many of the dogs in the neighborhood would roll over on their backs and let Gale sniff their bellies when they saw her approaching, which is the way dogs show respect.  If this did not happen, then there would be a lot of barking.  When Gale was done with her walk, I would remove her collar and keep it attached to her leash.

One night when I was sleeping around 2 AM, the smoke alarm went off for no reason, well there was no fire and no smoke, but apparently the batteries went bad.  Gale was very sensitive to that chirping noise and she kept barking, so I really wanted to fix this.  I removed the smoke alarm from the wall and I took out the battery, but this didn’t help.  I figured that maybe it had some type of capacitor charge that kept it beeping, so I grabbed a pillow to silence it and I opened the back door to put it on my patio.  Gale saw her chance to escape and she went for it and I went chasing after her wearing my shorts and house slippers.

Luckily Gale stopped at the playground, but she was still barking like crazy.  I was able to calm her down by petting her, but I didn’t have her collar or her leash with me.  I had to carry her all the way home, which was all uphill and when we go close to my place, she started squirming, but I was able to get her back inside.  I wrote this poem for Gale and it was the first post that I made when I joined WordPress.

She is wagging her tail.
We are getting the mail.
We will walk through the dale.
It started to hail.
Stopped to lean on a rail.
Just stepped on a snail.
Glad it wasn’t a nail.
Just saw a quail.
We will not fail.
And end up in jail.
We would need bail.
Let’s go for a sail.
It would be nice to catch a whale.
My hook got caught on some kale.
Put the fish in a pail.
Popped open an ale.
That girl is wearing a veil.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is collar.

Sharp as a Tack

I turned on my Dragon speech recognition software, because I feel this is the best way to write a Stream of Consciousness Saturday post.  I am not a sharp dressed man and I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I do like my cheese sharp.  I come to WordPress every day to write and read other bloggers posts, which I feel keeps my mind active.  No Alzheimer’s disease or dementia for me yet, as I remain extremely clever, astute and mentally alert, but that is not saying that it isn’t lurking around the next corner.  It is not easy getting old, as everything starts falling apart.  I’m not the same person that I was when I was younger, I lost my hair and I am out of shape.

I have sharpened a lot of pencils in my day and I have put up with some sharp criticism, as that is the way of the world.  I never wanted to be a politician and have to live my life in public scrutiny, but I do consider myself to be an honest man.  I have done some things that I am not proud of, which I am not going to get into here, but it was nothing on the level of cheating on my wife with her sister.  Some things should be taboo, they should never happen, but when you are a womanizer like Robert Plant, then you catch the wind and sail away, because you think that you are allowed to start a romance with your ex-wife’s sister.  Speaking of sharp cheese, my favorite is piave vecchio and I would recommend that everybody try that at least once in their life.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is sharp.

Like a Lot

George said, “A whole lot of people were at the rally and hardly any of them were wearing masks, it was crazy.”  Joan said, “I hope that you kept your mask on.  Exactly how many people are you talking about?  I mean was it like into the valley of Death, rode the six hundred?”  George responded, “I didn’t count them, but let’s just say it was more than a hundred, and as I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I felt real evil and most of it had to do with those red hats that everyone was wearing.  I didn’t stick around long, because there was no social distancing and it was just another Trump spectacle to impress his base.”

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “more than a hundred”.

Twice a Day

I brush my teeth after breakfast and after dinner and very recently I started flossing.  I have an electric toothbrush which I got at BJ’s and I had to buy 2 of them.  The first one died a few years back, but the other one is still going and I change the brush head every time I go through a tube of toothpaste.  I have the dentist next Tuesday and they say that I need to get 3 fillings worked on, but with my dental insurance, it will only cost me about $300.

My fingers are fat, so I don’t floss like most people.  I use a two-step method of removing dental plaque.  First, I use the Gum picks which have soft rubber bristles that I work between my teeth and they massage my gums.  I don’t like to be bothered with all of that string, so I use the dental floss picks, which I think are called flossers.  My hygienist suggested that I get a water pick, but that seems too messy to me.

When I was younger, hair actually grew on the top of my head, but I usually just combed it, instead of brushing it.  Since I am talking about my hair, I should probably mention that this week I got my first hair cut since January.  I was really rocking that Fabio look with my hair, but I don’t have his muscular physique.  I am hoping that this post does better than last week’s He Went to the Mountain, as although that got 18 likes, it did not get one comment and I am still having a hard time trying to brush that off.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where we are supposed to write about the word brush.