A Heartless Scumbag

At a time when most people were struggling…, he was sucking the life out of everything.  This toxic person thought he was better than anyone else and he tried to make everyone else feel like shit, because he was the emblem of the successful tycoon.  His opinion was the only thing that mattered and he never considered anyone else’s point of view.  He took advantage of everyone and everything, because he felt like he was entitled to.  His mission was to make everyone feel small or inadequate just so he could feel better about himself.  His ideas were the only things that were ever urgent and important because he deemed himself to be more respectable than anyone else and he enjoyed raining on your parade and shitting all over your dreams.  His double standards were accepted by many and this manipulative bastard was even elected to be president.  He perfected the art of making you feel guilty for things you didn’t do by twisting your words and your actions to make you look like the bad guy.  This delusional cretin would accuse you of something you didn’t do, knowing how to make it sound like you were behind the problem, when all the time he was the one.

Once he made up his mind about something, no one could convince him otherwise.  He never walked a mile in someone else’s shoes or tried to understand where anyone was coming from because he lacked empathy and basically, he didn’t care about what anyone thinks as it was always about his satisfaction.  He was very selfish and self-absorbed since the day he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.  He wanted all of the attention and he was able to suck the air out of any room, by making a scene or causing a commotion just to revert the attention back to him.  He never drained the swamp like he promised, he only made it wider and deeper.  He had a memory like an elephant when it came to his opponent’s failures or losses, but the crowds that came to see him were always the biggest ever in his opinionWhen he lost the last election, he played the victim saying it was stolen from him and he started blaming others for making mistakes counting the ballots.  He lost his temper because he felt that he could never be wrong and he blamed Pence, saying it was his fault for not stopping the steal.  He knew how to rile up a crowd and he kept repeating the Big Lie to provoke the January 6th insurrectionists.  Every Republican had to be very careful supporting his lie, or he would take them down and end their career.  If they spoke out against him or didn’t stay quiet his retaliation would be ruthless.  All this cry baby loser ever did was to bring pain and cause drama.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #12.

Look Out of Any Window

Peeking through the window, her surprise turned to horror when… she saw her estranged husband walking up the driveway wielding an axe.  She made a big mistake when she married him and although her parents and her sister warned Alice, she couldn’t help falling on love with the bad boy.  A couple weeks into their marriage Alice experienced pain while urinating and her doctor told her that she had contracted chlamydia and that is when she knew that she married the wrong guy.  Later she found out that he had been banging his coworker for months.  One day George came home from work and told Alice that she was going to do everything that he told her to do with no questions asked, whether she liked it or not and she knew then, that she was trapped in a bad marriage.  George nearly killed Alice when she was innocently texting her father as he insisted that she was sending coded messages to her lover.

The next morning, she moved back into her parent’s house and filed for a divorce.  George came by after his work was done and he screamed, “You’re my wife and you are coming home with me” and he wouldn’t leave till the cops came and chased him away.  Alice filed a restraining order against him and that just made George go completely nuts.  George followed Alice when she went out to the store and he cornered her in the parking lot and held her head against the hood of the car until she blacked out.  When she came to, she forgot about shopping and wanted to go straight back home, but when she stopped at a traffic light, George pulled his car next to hers and he pointed his finger in a threatening manner pretending it was a gun and he shot at her.  Alice was happy when she saw George pull into the Home Depot parking lot, but she was curious about what he needed there.  When she made it back to her parent’s house, she grabbed her dad’s gun.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #11.

Easily Squishable

My hair stood on end, a shiver raced down my spine, and a lump came to my throat when I saw that scorpion by the hot tub.  My wife and I were vacationing in Key West and one night we went out by the jacuzzi tub for a dip to relax, when four scorpions decided to crawl out there.  My wife screamed and told me to get them out of here, but I had never seen a scorpion before and I had no idea what to do.  That menacing stinger tail is so creepy and those two large claws or pincers make it look like a very dangerous beast, so I just kept splashing water on them till they all took off.  I guess it is because scorpions are so much larger and creepier looking than spiders are, that I am more afraid of them.

We told some people about the event and they all acted like it was no big deal, but they warned us that scorpions like to crawl into your shoes at night.  I told my wife that before I ever reach for another shoe again, I will make sure that I flip them over first to dislodge any scorpions that could be concealed there.  I heard that none of the three Florida scorpion species are capable of producing a fatal sting, but that their sting can be painful and it may cause swelling and allergic reactions.  Florida scorpions are not aggressive, but may sting when pinned against the skin as like if they were trapped in clothing or bed sheets.

In the Russian fable that was popularized by Orson Welles in the 1955 movie Mr. Arkadin about the scorpion and the frog, there was no logic in the scorpion stinging the frog, as by doing that he was sure to drown, but it could not repress what was in its nature.  It is odd that after hearing this story that most people feel scorpions are not able to swim, but I found out that although scorpions aren’t good swimmers, they can survive in water for some time.  They don’t have lungs, so they breathe through their exoskeletons, allowing them to survive for up to 48 hours in water.  Spiders and snakes reign supreme in the world of animal phobias, and even though many of these creatures are harmless, I want them all to be dead.  Spiders are easily squishable, but if I were able to catch one and chase it out of the house, I would try to do that.  You can’t squish a scorpion by stomping on it, as they have the ability to completely flatten themselves, so it might be best to attack one with a brick or a sledge hammer, or you could try using a knife to pierce their outer shell.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #10.

We Need to Talk

“I don’t think you sufficiently appreciate everything that I do for you”, Sue said to her husband Jerry, “and you need to cut down on watching so much TV and drinking beer all the time.  I really don’t understand how anyone could watch those same stupid shows every day and I think that are damaging your brain.  I am so tired of those old Black and White westerns that you watch and if I hear that theme ‘Paladin, paladin, where do you roam’, or ‘Keep them dogies rollin’, rawhide’ one more time, I am going to scream.”  Jerry started singing, “Through rain and wind and weather, Hell bent for leather, wishing’ my gal was by my side.  These old shows make me feel like I am back in a time when the ideology that I believe in was delineated clear-cut between right and wrong and people followed basic laws and had codes of honor.  The heroes were all tough guys and they rode their horses out in wide-open spaces and that still appeals to me.”

Sue said, “I am sorry that you lost your job due to the pandemic, but I am trying to better myself and you are just becoming more of a couch potato.  I started doing these Kegel exercises every day, three times a day and they are as much for your benefit, as they are for mine.  My bladder had weakened from pregnancy, and childbirth, and our third child was such a large baby that I needed a cesarean section (C-section) to get him out.  On top of that normal aging, excessive straining from constipation and chronic coughing, and being overweight all resulted in my incontinence issue.  My doctor told me that I may need surgery for a vaginal prolapse, as he thought my uterus was starting to slip down and protrude out, so he suggested that these exercises could restore my self-confidence and boost my sexual pleasure.  They are not just for women and they could help you with that farting issue that you have.

The Kegels are supposed to enhance my sexual experiences, because the muscles involved in this exercise are responsible for the contractions that are felt during climax, thus this should make my orgasms more intense and by amplifying the sensations of my sexual arousal, it should make it easier for me to reach climax during sex.  This rhythmic clenching and unclenching of the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles are supposed to help me relax my pelvic muscles during intercourse, making the sex which we stopped having more pleasurable.  Although Kegel exercises won’t actually tighten my vagina, they will tone and strengthen my vaginal muscles, allowing me to get a tighter grip during intercourse and the more intense contractions during orgasm will get more blood flowing to this region.  I can even do Kegels during sex, which I think you might enjoy.”  Jerry hit the record button on his DVR and then shut off Wagon Train and he grabbed Sue and said, “I want to show you how much I appreciate you.”

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #9.

Proud Father

He could feel the beads of perspiration forming on his forehead as he slowly stared at his wife giving birth.  There is literally nothing like seeing a tiny person come into this world, especially when it is emerging from your wife.  Ted was a proud father and he had been waiting for this day, ever since his wife Stacy found out that she was pregnant.  Ted had been documenting every stage of Stacy’s pregnancy, having her pose nude for him, so he could capture her belly getting bigger and her breasts getting larger.  Guys lie about all kinds of shit, but Ted was totally serious about how much he adored his wife’s belly bump, as he felt that there was something elementally hot about a woman being pregnant with their round hips, plump butts, and full bellies and this turned him on immensely.  Ted knew that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that needed to be photographed on a weekly basis to celebrate Stacy’s body during her pregnancy.  Stacy decided to embrace the idea and she posed willingly, as long as Ted promised that nobody else would see the pictures.

In her third trimester between 30 and 35 weeks pregnant, she had a great big bump and she started posing more seductively and that was probably due to her changing hormones, but she was really into it and this made her feel powerful.  Stacy became comfortable with her new body and she saw herself as a sexual being.  Posing for these intimate private pictures ultimately became a feminist act of defiance for Stacy, because she was owning her body and she started wearing high heels in the photoshoots.  Stacy felt gorgeous, as she was showing off the glow and she was proud of herself for having the courage to do something that was a bit out of her comfort zone, and in the end, she shared some very tender moments with her husband as the expecting parents.

Ted and Stacy knew that nude pregnancy photo shoots should not be exclusively for celebrities, as this should be one of the happiest times in a woman’s life, so why not show off the gift that you were given.   Pregnancy is an incredible journey, that ends with the most beautiful life changing moment, so it was important to embrace the changes of the human body, and the feeling of being uncomfortable knowing that you are growing a life that will be your prodigy.  They realized that they were both lucky to be blessed by God and they couldn’t wait to meet their little boy when he popped out of the oven.  Their bundle of joy was arriving today and Ted wanted to get front row seats for him and his camcorder.  Ted was a little nervous and he tried to keep remembering that his main job was to support his wife and once their baby came out, it’d all be worth it.  All he wanted was a healthy baby and for his wife to get through this ordeal without any issues, but once he saw his son and heard his cries, it was the best of moment of his life.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #8.


As soon as she stepped into the room, she realized that she had forgot to put on her panties today and she felt like such a silly girl for doing that.  This was not the first time that she forgot to put on her panties, as she usually goes commando and that is always intentional.  She purposefully doesn’t wear them for comfort on extra warm days.  She started doing this in college what she was playing this game called Never Have I Ever with her Delta Pi sorority sisters.  This is a drinking game where all the players take turns asking the others about things they have not done, or experiences that they had never had.  It is a fun and easy game to play which helped all the girls to get to know each other better, and it also provided hours of entertainment.  All the girls sat around in a circle and if something comes up that they have actually done, then they were required to take a drink.

It was tequila night at the sorority and the statements started out all being normal like “Never have I ever shoplifted anything”, or “hitchhiked”, or “been arrested”, or ‘gotten stitches”, or “been caught cheating on a test” and all of the girls were having fun sharing their stories and some were getting a nice buzz.  Then Jane said, “Never have I ever went out without putting on my panties”, and then Susan tool a drink and said, “I do that all the time, because it makes me feel so naughty.”  Hearing this made me wonder if I was missing out on something.  Jane said that she only does this when she is wearing a skirt or dress, because she tried it once when she was wearing jeans and she ended up getting abrasions that irritated the delicate skin of her vulva.  I asked Jane if she was worried about anyone noticing her and seeing her lady bits and she said that she loves to feel that tingle in her pussy that comes from dressing provocatively.

I don’t see many of the girls from my sorority any more, as I work and I am married.  I told my husband about this game that we played and he suggested that I should go out while not wearing any panties.  I did as he suggested and I found it to be a very liberating feeling and I liked the feel of the fresh air hitting my vagina.  My husband stopped at a gas station and while he was filling up the tank, he asked me to go inside and get him some cigarettes.  I didn’t know if I would be able to do it, as exposing my pussy for my husband to see was rather normal, but I was wearing a really short skirt and the slightest breeze would put my private parts on public display.  I hoped that nobody would notice, but I felt so sexy being dressed this way, especially when a guy in this store was checking me out and when I got back into the car, I told my husband that I was soaking wet.

My husband likes when I share secrets with him and he started lifting my skirt up higher.  Wow did I enjoy that free and sexy feeling of letting him see my lady bits.  I started doing this more often as I enjoyed having all the men’s eyes on me and I didn’t care if any of the women were judging me.  This became a conscious deliberate decision to go out with no panties and when the wind blows and my dress lifts up for everyone to see, that is exhilarating for me.  Even on the days that I am wearing my panties I like to be seen by a lot of people.  Most times people don’t notice that I am not wearing underwear but there are other times when I deliberately flash them!  I like to tell my husband that I didn’t put any underwear on and see how turned on he gets.  I love the feeling of no underwear while wearing a short skirt, as it feels so wonderful & free.

One day my husband James to me to go with him sans panties and that he was taking me out to look for shoes.  He told me to wear a really short skirt because he wanted to watch the reactions from the shoe salesmen.  James wanted me to expose myself and tease all of the men to get the attention and I was dropping wet even before we went into the store.  As I sat in the chair, I felt my skirt ride up and I knew that I was exposed for anyone who cared to look and this felt incredible.  I had no clue if any of the men were going to take the bait, but just having my pussy and ass exposed was such a turn on for me.  James pointed at a pair of shoes that he thought might look good on me and he asked if there was anyone who could help me try them on.  A good-looking man came over to help and as he lifted my foot, I made sure that he could see everything and those few seconds of exposure felt like an eternity to me knowing that he was checking out my goods.  The shoe salesman was shocked beyond belief and I watched him as he strained his eyes to get a better view, which caused me to blush.  I felt so horny that I was going crazy and all I wanted was to flash some more.

I told you that I work and today there was a big meeting for all of the executives and if I would have known that my boss was going to call in sick today and ask me to give the presentation, I definitely would have worn my panties today.  I grabbed my skirt and pulled it down as low as I could when I walked into the room.  My heart was fluttering in my chest and I was a complete mess hoping that I would not get embarrassed or that someone would see that my pussy was getting wet.  Even a brief exposure could cause me to lose my job, but I had this thought that if some lucky guy gets to see my ass, that could also lead to a promotion.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #7.

What a Strange World

There was only one way to keep her quiet, and it was to pull out.  I didn’t understand why she had to make so much noise and I figured that she was trying to prove something about her ability to express her sexual freedom.  Some soft moaning always makes it better, but all I could think about was why do my neighbors have to listen to us having sex.  Her vocalization was a bit overboard, because I knew that although I have made most of my partners climax, I realized that I wasn’t a super star in the sack.  I have never had a woman start singing, ‘Oh Sweet Mystery of Life!’ like what went on in Young Frankenstein, but some women did let me know that I did my job.

I thought that she reasoned that if we were making a racket during sex, it meant that we were having a good time, but it was just so damn annoying.  I have read that people who are less confident in their sexual prowess are quieter while doing the act, and this sounds like it could be a good argument to let out your grunts, but when you get too loud, all the intimacy disappears.  It is a good idea to inform your partner that they are pleasing you and that you are enjoying being with them, but when the level of sound greatly exceeds the intensity of excitation, it becomes phoney, because nobody should be climaxing this much.  This girl was loud, I mean like really loud, as she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

I just met this girl and 10 minutes later we are both naked on my bed.  I was encouraged having my first naked woman since my marriage fell apart and I was focused on both of us having a good time together and I was willing to put in the effort, so this would work out.  My marriage had become routine and we were just going through the motions when I ended it.  Six months had passed and I met this girl online and she wanted to meet me and she said that she would drive over to my place and I never thought it would be that easy.  I enjoy foreplay and I didn’t want to rush right into penetration, but she got into the position that she wanted to be taken and she was begging me to stick it in.  It was clear to me that she wanted penetration without any touching, cuddling and kissing and I was not going to complain.  She didn’t put up any resistance and she was not self-conscious about showing her enthusiasm.  It is rare for both partners to want exactly the same thing at exactly the same time when it comes down to sex, so all couples have to work out ways to accommodate each other’s needs.

I understood that a girl can either be silent, moan or groan, shriek or squeal a little, say words such as “Yes!” or call out my name, or give me instructional commands telling me that she wants more, but I had never been with a screamer before.  I like to tune into my partner, so I can enjoy being with them, but I had no clue what this girl wanted from me.  I was waiting to hear her say, “Oh yeah, that’s the spot right there”, or being patient to hear, “Just slightly up from where you are”, and then I could have adjusted my penetration.  I would have been fine if she just remained quiet and when I hit the spot for her she would go “mmm there you go”.  There are obvious signs when a man has an orgasm, but this can be a little more difficult to tell with a woman, so moaning gives off the signal that the sex is being done satisfactory.

There are only two reasons why women fake orgasms, and one them is that she wants the sex to end and the other is to boost the ego of their partner.  This loud screaming was something that I never encountered before and it sounded fake to me and I realized that we were not making love as this girl was in a world of her own.  I felt like I was in a horror movie with the original scream queen, and it seemed like she was faking her performance.  I told her that I have neighbors on both sides of me and the walls are thin in these apartments, but she just laughed it off and continues to vocalize loudly saying that this is the only way she can enjoy having sex.  Since I was no longer enjoying the sex, being too worried about everyone overhearing us, I pulled out and told her that I could not do this.

I couldn’t comprehend why she had to do all of that shouting, but I had to say something even if it was going to upset her.  I felt that she might be doing this to speed up my ejaculation, because it didn’t seem that this was a direct expression of her sexual arousal and I couldn’t tell if all of her screaming was the result of boredom, fatigue, discomfort, or some type of time limitation that she was under, or maybe she was just trying to be nice to me.  This was way worse than the Meg Ryan scene in When Harry Met Sally and it broke my concentration, because I didn’t see a purpose for it.

I lost my interest in her and I told her to leave because it just wasn’t working for me.  I told her that I needed to be respectful of the needs and boundaries of my neighbors, but I just wanted her to stop screaming.  She was conditioned to being loud during lovemaking, and she had no clue how to lower her volume.  I told her that I might enjoy being with her if we were out in the middle of the woods together, or some other place where nobody else was listening to us, or maybe if I could get one of those gag balls to stick into her mouth that it could work for us.  She got up, got dressed and left, telling me that screaming was her thing, it is what she does to enjoy herself and that she was a gift that some other guy would surely enjoy, and I told her that it takes all kinds and I wished her good luck.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #6.

What Is Life

Sometimes it hard to know the difference between fantasy and reality, especially when I can’t distinguish if this thing called life was produced by my imagination, or if it exists independently from my mind.  How can I determine if anything that affects my perception is something that I should believe in, even when I can see it and touch it?  Before I get too deep into the meaning of my life, I have to develop a meaning for the word illusion.  If my senses send specific signals to my brain that should be real, unless all of this is just my imagination and I am stuck inside of a dream.  I guess it all comes down to believing that everything that I see, hear, taste, smell and touch is part of reality, but it is also possible that I am just making myself believe this, so I fit in with all the others.

I believe in String Theory because that seems to be the best model there is to explain things, but that states that all parts of matter vibrate because of energy and the different frequencies will produce different particles.  All of these different frequencies are buzzing around everywhere and I can’t see them, or feel them, or touch them, however they are making me perceive all of these different things, and maybe life is just what you perceive it to be.  If life really is an illusion, then why am I here and who put all of these thoughts and beliefs inside of my head.  René Descartes reasoned that because he was able to think that was proof that he existed, which is a good start, but he didn’t go far enough to determine why we exist and what purpose do we serve.  If my brain was removed from my body while I was sleeping and stored some place where it could still be fed electrical stimulus signals, I would not know if I was experiencing real life or just existing in an illusion, as all of my beliefs are based on what I understand reality to be.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #5.

Time To Move On

I’d been planning the perfect vacation for months, but then that tramp broke up with me on a text message last night.  She is ignoring all of my calls and she won’t respond to my texts, so I have been ghosted and this is not a good feeling.  She is so immature and she has no decency, as this 3-night Caribbean cruise to the Bahamas cost me almost $500 and it is non-refundable.  Maybe I dodged a bullet, as this could have been worse, like if this crazy bitch stabbed me in the back 22 times with a butcher knife while I was sleeping.  I should probably write her a thankyou note for not killing me, or maybe I will just slap myself really hard in the face and stop trying to meet girls on Tinder.  Will you look at that, she just trashed me on all of her Social Media sites and now I have to unfollow her.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #4.

Naughty Shameless Girl

I’d imagined this moment so many times, but I never expected her to slip her soft hand down into my trousers on our first date, which felt oh so delightful, however it was also shockingly dirty and it made me realize that she was going to be trouble.  She told me to relax and enjoy this with a wicked grin on her face.  I had no clue what a hot little girl she was until she got me off, reaching her hand under the table when we were in that public restaurant.  I was totally unprepared when she got frisky in such a scandalous place and she made me blush as I exploded while our waitress was watching.  I had to compliment her on the contagious enthusiasm that she put into her work, and I appreciated her cleaning that big messy load off of me, which she seemed to take such pleasure in creating.  That was very risqué and although it made me feel horny and bold, that moment of excitement should never have happened, as the wild filth and obscenity of this indecent public act got stuck in my brain and I had trouble processing what just happened.  This seemed to go beyond all bounds of modesty.  It was a fetish for her to have other people see us while she was getting me off and these sinful acts turned me into a beast.  I realized that there were so many other sex things that we could be doing, but if this is what she likes, I am fine with it and I am not complaining.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #3.