Kiss Me with Those Fuzzy Lips

Uncle Steve went to the zoo with his brother Joe and his family.  It was a lovely day, but Joe’s wife Kathie never liked Steve being around her children, 6-year-old Christine and 4-year-old Billy, because he was an incorrigible character that would forever be a bachelor, because no good woman would ever have him.  Kathie had a look of disgust on her face when they went to visit the giraffes and Steve said, “Kiss me with those fuzzy lips”, so she ushered the kids away and said, “Let’s go visit the gorillas, that should be fun.”  Steve laughed and told his brother, “Doesn’t she look stunning and you know how much I have always preferred a full-grown bush over a trimmed pussy.”   Joe told his brother, “I know all of your stories about your mustache rides and I just wish that you could behave better around the kids.”  Steve seemed to be confused and he asked Joe, “What did I say that was so wrong, it is not like I was talking about a Dirty Sanchez?  We should get a couple of beers before we catch up to your family.”

Written for FOWC with Fandango – Dirty and for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

I Would Love to Love Her

Rhiannon looks to the sky to see a bird in flight.  All her life she has always been in tune with nature, taken by the wind and I’ve never seen her move.  She watches a cat cloud in the sky, ready to swallow a fish and she promised me heaven.  The fish is swimming to its mother for protection, will it ever win?  A monkey looks down on her satisfied that everything is right in this world where nothing is real, but everything is happy even when they descend into darkness.  She rules her life like a fine skylark when the sky is starless.  The woman has been taken by the wind, so she rings like a bell through the night, to tell me she wants to be my lover.  Will I ever win?  My dreams unwind, they have become a state of mind, oh Rhiannon.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Blitzen Interview

If you want to know what is the real Santa is like, we got it straight from the reindeer’s mouth and this little cutie is not holding back any punches, giving us the dope on the guy in the red suit, how his wife doesn’t really bake any cookies and how Rudolph got his nose to be so bright.  Blitzen is here with us today on Channel 3 as we take a trip up to the North Pole and everything is melting because of global warming.  It appears that Santa is down in Bermuda today on a well-deserved vacation, but he is keeping to his schedule, by having his sleigh in for repairs and a tune up.  He is also having a hole repaired in his magical toy sack, but Blitzen isn’t letting us know how that thing actually works.  Mrs. Claus is busy purchasing sugarplum cookies that are actually made by Donkin Donuts, but don’t let anyone know who let the cat out of the bag on that one.  Blitzen revealed that Rudolph has a high density of mucous glands in his nasal passages and that when his nose isn’t shining brightly, it is dripping snot all over the place.  Thanks for ruining my lunch today, Blitzen.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Imagine My Surprise

I forgot that my water had been shut off because I was late paying my bill and when I woke up this morning I headed straight for the toilet.  Ranger hates the noise made by the landscapers when they cut the grass, but I never expected to find her hiding inside of the toilet bowl and hey, I had to go really bad.  I filled her treat bowl and showed it to her and she climbed out of the toilet.  This can’t be a cozy place for her, but it is only natural to hide from danger and I guess that cats will hide out any place where they feel protected.  It is scary and confusing for her when she hears the lawnmowers, and even though they come every week, I don’t think that she will ever get used to these scary monsters being outside of her home.

She has always seemed to think that the bathroom was a nice place for her to play in and when I went in there and closed the door, she would meow and scratch on the door to be let in.  If she can’t be by me, she feels like she is missing out on some fun.  She seems to know that I am trapped in there for at least a few minutes and this makes it easier for her to get my attention.  Going into the bathroom with me has become part of her routine and she seems to enjoy the smells that linger in there.  She enjoys playing with the toilet paper roll and sticking her claws into my bathroom rugs and rolling around on them and she has created many disasters there.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Nocturnal Omnivore

Many people have said that I look a lot like the baby Aye-Aye, but I don’t see the resemblance.  OK we have the same hair and it has a lot more hair on its head than I do, but that is where the comparison ends.  I guess that if I would comb the little hair that I have left once in a while, then I wouldn’t look all that unkept, but I don’t see the point.  Some people say this animal is creepy, but actually the baby Aye-Aye is much cuter than I am with those dreamy green eyes.  I am not sure if this is a male or a female, but it has a perfectly clear creamy complexion and those incredibly haunting ears that I just want to tug on, along with a smile that would light up any room.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

You and Me Against the World

Jake said, “I am so glad that I found you as I wasn’t sure that I would see you again.  You were right behind me and then I looked back and didn’t see you anymore.”  Judy replied, “Yea I had to take care of some business and I knew that I could catch up with you.  I wanted to leave a signal just in case any others of our species are looking for us, so I dropped some of my scent back there.  I figured rather than pooping randomly, we could drop our aroma at strategic locations.”  Jake said, “That was very social of you Judy, but I think we are on our own on this alien planet.  We have to be careful here, as you never know how much information will be revealed about us from a good sniff of our poop or urine.  I know that I have picked up a lot of unique scents since we arrived here yesterday.  No one is coming for us, we left that world behind and we should probably be doing our business underground from now on, to keep our selves safe from predators.  It is just you and me against the world now kid.”

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Here is Your Hug

Many times, words are insufficient and you just have to hug it out.  I love this shared experience, where we are both giving and receiving affection.  It took me some time to learn dog language, as it is different from my feline dialect and this is the first dog that I ever got friendly with.  Everyone gives off certain signs when they’re having a bad day and with this guy being man’s best friend and the person not being around, I have to step up and give him some of the attention that he is craving.  Our owner went on a trip again and the walker will come to take this fellow out, but I have been here a lot longer than this newbie and basically, I don’t crave attention.  I will let the human pet me from time to time, but I prefer my own smell, and I am very independent.

The pet sitter will change my water and clean my litter box and give me food to eat and that is all that I need.  This little guy is not the brightest bulb on the tree, but as long as he doesn’t start peeing on everything, I am sure that he will be OK and we will make it till our owner gets back.  This dog is in his own world and he doesn’t have a clue what is going on in life which makes me so glad that I was born a cat.  I will never understand that barking thing that he does, dogs can be the most annoying animals on Earth and he never gives himself a bath, like hey what is up with that?

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Cat That Got the Cream

Chloe had a very good day and now she is ready for a nap.  She is very fond of cream, and since most mammals’ drink milk directly after birth, drinking milk is natural for them to lap up.  Unfortunately, cats are lactose intolerant and they should not have any dairy products after their breastfeeding period has ended, so even though she likes it, we never give her cream.  They are attracted to milk and cream, because they are able to sense and smell dairy products, especially the fat and protein.  Cats have evolved to sleep for long periods throughout the day, which stems back to the period when all cats were wild and they needed to sleep in the day in order to conserve their energy, so they could hunt at night.  House cats may not need to hunt, but they still carry the instinct to sleep, so they can prepare to hunt.  Cats love to snooze because it’s in their genes and they may spend anywhere between twelve to sixteen hours in a day taking cat naps.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Snoopy and Woodstock

We live in the town of Woodstock, Georgia and we have a mutt or mixed breed that we named Snoopy, so last year when we got this baby chick for our little girl for Easter, it only seemed natural that we should name it Woodstock.  Snoopy realized that the tiny little bird missed its mother, so Snoopy decided to take care of the chick and raise it and he has become very close to it.  Our daughter Sara likes to place Woodstock on top of Snoopy’s head, and they look cute like that and nothing really ever bothers the dog all that much.  Although when Woodstock dumped a poop on top of Snoopy’s head, he shook the bird off to try and teach it the proper way to behave and show it that it should try to be more respectful of the one that was burdened with the responsibility of its care.

Snoopy taught the bird how to fly, but it seems to like hopping around and it might be just too lazy for flying.  They are best of friends and they always seem to understand each other.  When the cat next door was hanging around Woodstock’s nest, Snoopy chased it away.  One day Woodstock laid an egg and not knowing any better, it wondered what this strange thig was in its nest and Snoopy had to explain the facts of life to the bird.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.

Instinct Prevails

Wrinkles knew that he had no chance of ever catching that squirrel, but he couldn’t help from chasing it.  When it ran under the chain link fence, Wrinkles had a full head of steam going and he slammed into it, smashing up his face.  He did not need any more problems in his life, as last week he got flees and those buggers chewed the heck out of his hide.  He looked into the mirror and he thinks that he may now have pink eye, or should that be pink eyes, because both of his eyes were itching and they looked pink.  Wrinkles was aware that Friday was his birthday and he hoped to be back on the gravy train real soon.

Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.