My First Interview

Jacob has been doing a series of interviews with WordPress bloggers and today it is my turn.  His questions are standard and they seem very normal, so I will do my best to answer them.

What would you like to drink while we are conducting this interview with you?
I used to be a big drinker and if Jacob was buying, I would be drinking.  However, my doctor always analyzes my blood because I have Type II diabetes and she is constantly worried about my kidneys, as I guess all that drinking, which I did years ago must have wreaked havoc on them, so I will pass on your kind offer of a drink for now.

Could you tell us your blogging name and the name of your site please.
My blogging name is NewEpicAuthor which I chose because I wrote several very long books, which I never got published.  The title of my site is A Unique Title For Me.

When did you start blogging?
I joined WordPress on April 23, 2017 and wrote my first post on that day.  I am approaching a milestone very soon, as after this one I will have only 16 more posts to write in order to get me to 3,000.

Why did you start blogging?
I was looking for a platform to promote my books.

Which is the most popular post on your site?
My Top Posts show that I have 12 which received over 1,000 views and I listed those below.

Title Views
Colder Than a Well Digger’s Ass 13,512
Sloopy Hang On 10,597
Home page / Archives 8,716
War, Famine, Pestilence and Death 5,505
How To Make Your Vagina Taste Good 4,733
Sex Is A Three Letter Word 1,731
Pumped A Lot Of Pane 1,507
Quadratic Equations and Astronomy 1,155
There Is No I In Team 1,080
Do You Think That I Have a Nice Butt? 1,068
It Was Beauty That Killed the Beast 1,041
Whip The Horse’s Eyes 1,003

What is the best thing about blogging?
It keeps me busy and I stay out of trouble most of the time, but I have been known to say some controversial things.

Food that makes you smile?
Steak, Seafood, Italian, Cake way too many to list.

If I was going to send you flowers as a thank you for letting me interview, what would they be?
Please send money instead.

Do you have a song? One that fits you as a person or your life?

Do you know where you are going in life?
I am just winging it for now.

What message do you want your blog to tell the world?
Keep On Truckin’, Get Off My Cloud, Love the One You’re With, I actually am at a loss for words here.

Written for my interview with Jacob.

Quickies

When was the last time you had a quickie [in anything]?
My wife wanted to get pregnant and her doctor wanted me to have a sperm count and motility test and bring the sample to the hospital.  They suggested that we refrain from sexual activity for 2 to 5 days before collecting a semen sample.  The sample needed to be collected within 1 hour of my appointment to get satisfactory test results and we lived an hour away from the hospital.  This meant that a quickie in the parking lot was our only way to go.

How do you feel about people who burp and fart when in your presence and instead of ‘excusing themselves’, laugh instead?
I think that is rude and the laughing part is just plain vulgar.

If you were to write a letter to the younger you today about who you have become, what would you say?
Stay young as long as you can and be grateful for what you have.

How long is too long in your eyes and why? [Interpret as you wish!]
When you have to start braiding your nose hairs, they have grown too long!

Have you ever read any of the Fifty Shades series written by E.L. James and if so, what were your thoughts?
This is a grey area, but I have not read any of this or Brokeback Mountain.

What’s the worst smell or scent you have ever encountered and what caused it?
I worked in a steel mill that went on strike, but since I was not there long enough to join the union, the workers let me cross the picket line.  I had to clean out all of this sludge from a pit that had not been cleaned in over 35 years.  Once you start disturbing that sludge, the smell comes out and it really reeked of gauging odor, and imho there is nothing worse than the smell of dead rats.

Written for Rory’s Quickie Questions.

Things I Want to Know

People are often asked to put their two cents in, but when they only get a penny for their thoughts, was there a bad penny involved in this?
What disease was it that that the ham cured of anyway?
Why do people say that they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If you eat all-natural foods can you still die of natural causes?
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change, as nudity is not supposed to be a sexual thing for a doctor and there is a real good chance that they’re going to lift your gown, look, or peek, and poke all around at everything anyway.  I have to think that if the doctor remained in the room, it would certainly speed up the visit.  Does anyone ever feel like waiting for the doctor to come back in and then put on a little strip tease gradually undressing for them.

A Weekend Quickie

Rory has 6 Quickie Questions and I am always up for a quickie, as they provide a great way to become sexually satisfied by being very challenging and they are also really hot.

Why do they say “It’s not rocket science?”
This is said in Brain Surgery 101 and it is done to scare the students.

Do you feel that everyone has an artist in them?
No that is ridiculous.

Do you prefer writing during the day or the evening?
I have no preference, as I am always in the mood, but as long as I find the topic interesting.

Do you hoard clutter or constantly de-clutter?
I would like to think that I am orderly, as there is a place for everything and everything should be in its proper place eventually.

Are you a confident person?
I belief in my abilities and I try to maintain a sense of competence.

What is a hobby you wish you had more time to enjoy?
Golf.

Written for Rory’s Quickie Questions.

Impossible to Ignore

Everybody is doing it, doing it, picking their nose and chewing it (no that is disgusting) and almost as bad as the snottite, also called the snoticle, which is a microbial mat of single-celled extremophilic bacteria that hang from the walls and ceilings of caves and are similar to small stalactites, but have the consistency of nasal mucus.  What I am referring to is Rory’s December 2020 game called 12 Bloggerz!, as most of the bloggers that I follow are doing it.  Rory asks 12 questions and we are supposed to answer them, so let’s get started.

1. When not specifically following ‘set’ directions everyone has a favorite direction they prefer to walk in – which is yours left or right and why do you think you always want to go that direction first?
As Robert Hunter wrote in Box of Rain, I am still hoping that maybe I’ll find direction around some corner where it’s been waiting to meet me.

2. What’s the creepiest thing that has ever happened to you – irrelevant to your personal beliefs – just something that creeped you out – and yet you simply couldn’t explain it?
When I dropped acid at work, this ink came out of my magic marker and did all of my work for me.

4. Who are your top five actors/actresses and what is special about them to you?
Robert De Niro, George Clooney, Shirley MacLaine, Anthony Hopkins and Glenn Close.

4. Which prompts do you participate in weekly with your blog – please list?
I am the host of two prompts, Song Lyric Sunday and the MM Music Challenge, so I always participate in them.  I used to do a lot more of the prompt challenges, but lately I have been slacking off.  Every week I participate in Linda Hill’s One Line Wednesday and her Stream of Consciousness Saturday.  I also make it a point to write in Paula’s Thursday Inspiration.  Lately I have been writing in Christine’s Simply 6 Minutes, Fandango’s Provocative Question. Dr. Tanya’s Blogging Insights, Melanie’s Share Your World, Reena’s Exploration Challenge and Di or Frank’s Fibbing Friday.

5. Have you taken the 16 Personalities Test and if so – what Personality Type are you and how accurate is it to you?
Logician INTP-A

6. Are you easily embarrassed – when was the last time for you?
No, but I did get embarrassed when I was body surfing and the waved pulled my bathing suit off while I was riding them to the shore.

7. Has anything shocked you in the last 6 weeks to the point where you have gasped out aloud – if so what was it and if not, then when was the last time you were terribly shocked by something?
After living with Trump as the president for almost 4 years now, I am not easily shocked.

8. If you have one, what is your signature dish and if you don’t have one what would you love to be able to cook wonderfully well?
Pasticcio.

9. Strangest or wildest place you ever had the most amazing sex in or on maybe, even around …….?
On the tenth tee area at a country club, the ground was wet so the girl I was with rode on top.

10. Why is it healthy to flirt with people you have no intention of doing the naughty with and how often do you flirt with people you know or even don’t know?
It never hurts to practice and I have always been a flirt.

11. Can you list 9 things that you can ride in, on or with?
I am sure that is possible.  I could ride with my friends if I had any, I could ride with a dog that is sticking their head out the window to catch a breeze, I could ride with Charon the ferryman of Hades to get across the River Styx, or I could jump out of a perfectly good plane and ride in a parachute, I could ride inside the belly of a whale, I could ride on your horses, I could ride in an Uber, if I met up with the Allman Brothers and I had one more silver dollar then I could be the Midnight Rider, or I could let me money ride and try to double my gain.

12. Are you on Santa’s Naughty or Good list and if you are – what have you asked for from either?
I haven’t seen which list I am on, but I could use a new pair of slippers.

Written for Rory’s 12 Bloggerz!

Wanna Know You Better

10 “briefly explain” questions:
1. What really makes you angry?  Not much, as I try to maintain an even keel about life.  Don’t rock the boat baby.

2. What is your favorite food that you cannot do without? Give me my daily bread.

3. What is your biggest fear?  Global warming is going to destroy our planet.

4. What has been your biggest accomplishment this year?  I started running two different music challenges this year, Song Lyric Sunday and the MM Music Challenge.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?  I would live in Southern Brazil.

6. What is your favorite method to relieve stress?  Listening to music and watching Netflix.

7. Would you rather live on the Moon or on Mars for two years?  I don’t like heights very much.

8. What is your favorite type of weather?  Anywhere without snow.

9. What is your favorite sport to play or watch?  I enjoy playing golf, even though I am not very good.  I watch the National Football League as much as I can.

10. Do you enjoy creative efforts to attract readers to your blog?  I write about every subject under the Sun and I also write about the Sun.  I am not looking to attract any readers, so I write for my own enjoyment

10 “this or that” questions:
1. Beach or Mountains? Beach
2. Fish or fried chicken wings? Chicken breasts
3. Sydney or Rio De Janeiro? Either
4. Swimming or climbing hills? Swimming, but it might be nice to roll down a hill
5. Steak or Lamb? Steak
6. Summer or Winter? Summer as long as there is air conditioning
7. Countryside or city? City
8. Spring or Autumn? Autumn
9. Political Science or Statistics? Neither
10. A Train or Airplane Ride? Boat