I had a testicle infection called Epididymitis which caused this condition on me and it started out as an inflammation or infection that was caused by a bacterial infection.  I got the infection when I was in a mosh pit and somebody kicked me in my testicles.  I doubled over in pain and these animals kept stepping on me.  This pain was severe, and I had instant scrotal swelling, and urinating was also painful.  I went to my doctor for a checkup and I complained about how my nipples became puffy and erected, so she did a series of tests on me.  She told me that I was starting to secrete high levels of a hormone that were making my breasts grow, which is supposedly very rare.  Unfortunately, my breasts grew very large and now they are permanent fixtures.

When I first started growing breasts it was very embarrassing, because if a man has visible breast growth, people tend to think that he is a homosexual, and that is when I tried wearing the male compression shirts.  I never seemed to feel comfortable wearing any of them, and when they changed size, increasing from an A to a B cup, I decided that it is time for me to start wearing an actual bra.  I figured that a bra was just a garment, and it is not anything sexual.  My breasts have developed to the point where they now move and jiggle on my body.  I need the physical breast support and it feels good having my breasts held in place preventing unwanted movement.  I need to accept that a bra is a good thing for me and try to stop judging myself, because clothes don’t have genders.

Most men have a level of femininity in them positioned somewhere in the rainbow although society has its own concept of how men and women are expected to act and how they should behave.  It is perfectly normal for a man to be attracted to women’s clothing, just as it is for a woman to fantasize about being the aggressor.  From an early age, I was obsessed with breasts wanting to see them to touch them, and I even wished that I had them, until my wish came true, and I ended up with man boobs.  I got good at hooking and unhooking my bras and eventually they became a part of me.  I am OK with having breasts now, as I have become pretty comfortable with them being a part of me, so I made peace with them and I decided against having breast reduction surgery, so I will try to continue keeping the secret as long as I can.  I get this girlish feeling when they become sensitive and I hope that one day I can find a partner that enjoys my assets.  Men who act somewhat feminine are usually viewed negatively, and I prefer people to say that I am effeminate and not have anyone call me a sissy.  I feel compelled to hide this side of my sexuality from everyone, as I don’t think that anyone would accept me dressing this way and I have not had courage to be with a woman in last 5 years for fear of being ridiculed.

I read that most men will start wearing women’s panties, before they start wearing bras, but this worked out differently for me.  The online stores where I shopped all seemed to have these specials where they would give you a matching pair of panties, if you purchased the bra.  Besides being smart and sext looking, I found them to be much more comfortable than the briefs and boxers that I was wearing and why not since they were basically free.  The sexual charge that I get when I am wearing my bra is about how the clothes feel on my body and there is also the taboo aspect of wearing something that I shouldn’t be wearing.  For me, it is just fun dressing up and recently I graduated to wearing sexy panties and putting on makeup, but I have not gone out in public dressed like that yet.  I will continue to wear women’s clothes because they allow me to bring out my female side and I also got an erotic thrill from the sexy material, but now this has become a compulsion for me.  I am looking forward to the day when I can summon the courage to put on a slinky dress and heels and go outside so I can get that powerfully sexy feeling that I desire.  Women’s clothes just feel terrific, and they have so many options to express themselves.  I prefer to wear the soft and silky fabrics, that provide skin-hugging comfort and come in less bulky cuts.  My feminine side is screaming to be let out, and I want to wear what men are not supposed to do and one day I will bet the courage to express myself.  I know that I am screwed up, but I am not ashamed of doing what I like.

When you think about it, sex begins in the womb and all human embryos start out as women.  If no Y chromosome is present in the fetus, then the embryo will continue to develop as and be born as a female.  If there is a Y chromosome present in the embryo, the male sex hormone testosterone restricts the full development of breasts to just nipples, the labia fuse to become the scrotum and clitoris develops fully to become a penis.  If the Y chromosome prevails in producing a male, this is not done without a fight.  Male babies tend to be weaker than female ones, accounting for the slightly higher death rate in male babies.  Men don’t like to hear that they were initially female, but all humans are born with the rudimentary potential to develop breasts.  Each guy is different when it comes to what body part gets them aroused when it is touched and my nipples become sensitive, so this erogenous zone should not be ignored.  Male nipples are often overlooked, but they need attention too, and they are usually up for having a good time.  A lot of men won’t admit that they enjoy nipple play but you should never hide your desires from your partner.

Written for November Monthly prompts – The Secret.

Naughty In Bed

She wished me bon appetit and then told me that she was wearing edible lingerie, so I decided to sample her delectableness.  She held up three bottles of oil and asked me if I preferred chocolate sauce, honey, or Lavender lullabies and then she pulled out a can of whipped cream.  She was growling like an animal when she started talking deliciously dirty using her soft sexy voice, which I just can’t seem to resist.  She started to shake her booty in my face, so I grabbed her butt and pulled her toward me and gave her a passionate kiss.  She nibbled on my ears, bit my neck and licked her way down my chest, there was no stopping her now.  She started touching herself which made me all hot and steamy and my mind went wild with anticipation of what her next move would be.

I had some tricks up my sleeve and I knew that foreplay was the best way to increase the arousal for both of us.  Sure, I watched Fifty Shades of Grey especial the bondage scenes, bit I wanted to do something that was a lot less creepy.  I knew that she was comfortable with being blindfolded and tied up and that she would never let me drip hot candle wax on her nipples, but we had never played with feathers before and I figured that she would enjoy this.  I had just gotten out of prison where I did have sex, but I always had to be quiet and tonight I could let go of all of my inhibitions and scream my head off and I knew it was going to feel amazing to finally be able to let out all of my moans and squeals.  I found her little pink toy in the night table drawer and I told her that it would be OK if she wanted to use it on me.  You should have seen how her face lit up and she said, “Let’s get filthy dirty, because there are so many fun things that I want to do to you, while you are completely at my mercy, but first I want you to devour my panties.”  The doorbell rang and she said, “That’s probably my sister, I will let her in and she got here just in time.”

Written for FOWC with Fandango – Naughty and for August Monthly Writing Prompts – Lavender lullabies.


These insects don’t do much besides providing nutrition for other animals and because they are so defenseless to their predators, they are considered manna from heaven.  Their sheer numbers help them to survive as a species, as eventually everything gets tired of eating them.  Thus, no matter how many cicadas get eaten, there will still be millions left to reproduce.  Some cicadas appear each summer, and then there are the ‘periodical cicadas’ which emerge on a regular schedule every 13 or 17 years, depending on the species.  Male cicadas make a hypnotic buzzing sound, which is their love song used to attract females for mating.  Cicadas can be annoying to some people, but this is one of the most amazing phenomena that occurs on our planet and it doesn’t last long, so people should enjoy it while they can.

Periodical cicadas spend almost their whole lives being only a foot or two underground, living on sap from tree roots.  When the mature cicada nymphs emerge, they mate and then die, and their newly hatched offspring drop to the ground and burrow in for the next 13 or 17 years.  The periodical cicadas emerge nearly simultaneously in great densities numbered in the trillions to spend a few weeks of life in the open air where they molt, buzzing males call for a mate to copulate with and after they have mated diligent females will deposit their fertilized eggs in nests.  The periodical cicadas begin life above ground as nymphs once they hatch.  These rice-grain sized nymphs immediately fall to the ground, where they burrow their way into what will be their home for the foreseeable future.  The years that follow are spent feeding on the juices of plant roots and slowly maturing in preparation for the upcoming emergence.

Evidence suggests that they don’t feel pain the way other creatures do, so if you are brave enough to try and eat these critters, you can celebrate a victory for being able to do something that makes others cringe, while you are enjoying a feast on these bugs.  There are plenty of cicada recipes that you can try like dry roasted or air fried, but I think the best way is to prepare them to be crispy and crunchy, but you may have to eat them with your eyes closed, otherwise you may have trouble swallowing them.

Groups of cicadas that share the same emergence years are known as broods.  This spring, bugs belonging to one of the biggest broods of 17-year cicadas, called Brood X or the Great Eastern Brood, are making their appearance.  So, love is in the air this spring in the eastern United States, where billions of cicadas are appearing in the biggest emergence event since 2004.  The Brood X cicadas will stretch from Tennessee to New York.  Bob Dylan was given an honorary degree by Princeton University in 1970, which was a year that the Brood X cicadas emerged.  He was moved by the experience to write the song ‘Day of the Locusts’, which was included on his eleventh studio album New Morning.

Written for FOWC with Fandango – Diligent, for June Monthly prompts – Crispy and crunchy and for Word of the Day – Victory.

Remove That Smile From Your Face!

Joe said, “Stop smiling, as that smirk of yours is irritating and you don’t have any good reason to be so pleased with yourself.  Nobody likes a smiker!  It is so freaking hot, this intense sun is scorching my skin and I am sweating like a pig.”  Eddie said, “What in the hell is a smiker?  Joe said, “Dude, did you not study English in High School, as a smiker is one who smirks.  When you go around smirking, people think that you are laughing at them, or taking some type of sarcastic pleasure at someone else’s unhappiness or misfortune.”

Eddie started singing, “Smirk, smirk, smirk, they call me the smiker.  If I want to be happy, I don’t need your permission and I have an awful lot of really good reasons to be happy.  I have two loving parents and my dog loves me also.  I have a date tonight with Cindy and we are going to see that new Jason Statham film Wrath of Man.  I was not smirking, as that is just the way my smile looks and if you want to know why I am smiling, it is because I was just thinking about ice cream and then that ice cream truck started coming up the street.  What do you say, how about me buying each of us an ice cream so we can cool off, OK bro?”  Joe said, “Sure buddy, as that sounds much better than splitting wood and honking geese.”  Eddie said, “Pass that joint over here, as you have already had too much.”

Written for FOWC with Fandango – Remove, for May Monthly Writing Prompts – Splitting wood and honking geese, and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Smiker.

Ladies First

Does anyone else besides me think that the phrase “ladies first” may have been invented so guys could stare at their butts?  I am a bit old fashioned and I always open up doors for women and although I hate seeing them leave, I love watching them walk away.  Is it okay to look at a woman’s butt?  Men and woman are always checking each other out all the time and some women like the attention and they realize that men are visually driven creatures.  I may be a pervert, but if a woman is going to show off her body, I am going to look.  Most of my better days are behind me now, but I am not dead yet and I don’t want to feel guilty about looking.  When women chose the outfit that they are going to wear, they might be sending out a message that can be interpreted as, “Check me out”, “I know that I have nice cleavage”, or “doesn’t my ass look fabulous in these yogi pants?”

This is the greatest thing about Spring is as when the weather gets warmer, it is much better for looking at women and admiring their attractive bodies, but this has to be done in a way where it does not make the woman feel like she is being reduced to an object, which would make the staring creepy.  I think it is OK to look for a second or two, as long as your gaze doesn’t linger too long, and you don’t make the woman feel unsafe.  I know that I am supposed to look at a girls’ eyes, but if she is facing me and she is bending over, I have looked down women’s tops before, and when they are facing away from me, I think it is natural to take a look at their derriere.

If girls didn’t like people looking at their butts, then they wouldn’t be twerking, although I did read that some teens just do this to piss off their parents.  I doubt that anyone twerks for the workout, although the deep squat done along with a pelvic tilt could be a beneficial exercise.  Twerking seems simple, but it involves a very specific way of wiggling, twisting, undulating your hips and ass that requires a lot of different muscles to work together in a specific order, so it will seem simple and effortless.  It is so much more than just shaking that ass, as you have to let gravity take hold when you are twerking, so that you get that recoil and your rump bounces like a ball, which is why this dance is so mesmerizing.  People have a tendency to simplify twerking into being something that is purely sexual, which gives men an open invitation to check out your ass, as it puts a woman in the prime mating position, a stance that is great for making babies.  If your booty doesn’t shake, you are not doing it right, however I also read that too much twerking can be hazardous to your health.  Twerking may seem like a new craze, but it started in the forest primeval, so a bird could look attractive for its mate by shaking its tailfeathers and doing what nature gave it.

Written for May Monthly prompts – Twerking teens and baggy jeans.

Going To Mars

Knock knee is a condition in which a person’s knees would bend inward and touch, thus they are said to “knock” and a person with this condition would have a large gap between their feet when they’re standing with their knees together.  Some people are afraid of being put in the spotlight and having to speak in public and if they are required to do this, their knees may start knocking along with their face becoming flush and their palms getting all sweaty.  When I was young, I was bow legged, which means that my legs curved outward at the knees while my feet and ankles were touching and everyone thought that I just got off of a horse after a long ride.

Tall buildings became known as skyscrapers because they look like they scrape the sky.  Before 1883, a skyscraper was a nautical term used to describe triangular shaped sails on ships, but apparently these tall sails were also called moon rakers.  When it comes to the moon, we have really only scratched the surface and so far, only 12 men have walked on the moon and no one has stayed there longer than 3 days.  I heard that it may be harder to buy gasoline this summer, because they don’t have enough drivers for the tanker trucks, but going back to the moon is necessary, if we want to get to the Red planet.  The moon is a boring place and we have sent water hunting robots up there roving around exploring the surface.  Our moon has vast quantities of water at the poles that can be turned into rocket fuel by splitting the water into oxygen and hydrogen and condensing it and this will help us get to Mars, however we may just end up with just a bunch of Moon scraped knuckles and knocking knees.

Written for May Monthly prompts – Moon scraped knuckles and knocking knees.

Turbulent Tranquility

This floating in air routine that I do, helps me to reach an untroubled state that is free from other disturbances.  Up here in my attic, there is a place where the laws of natural gravity seem to be repealed and gravitational anomalies allow me to soar above the floor for a few seconds, before bringing me back down with tranquil streams of air.  This is my special place where I can take a few deep breaths and then focus on the problems in this turbulent world.  I know that am I perfect, someone who always thought to be just out of reach, out of their league for many, and only attainable by a few, but eventually I will be somebody’s soulmate and they should stop at nothing to have me in their life, as I am not a unicorn.

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #103, for FOWC with Fandango – Unicorn, for February Monthly prompts – Turbulent tranquility and for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Many Other Few.

Walking Contradiction

A walking contradiction is used to describe a person who is inconsistent, one that does things that go against conventionality of what normal people do, or believe.  They are likely to say one thing and then do another.  They may take a leap of faith that ends up being a paradoxical contradiction because their hopes and dreams will get splattered all over the pavement.  They may simply change their mind often, so much so that this becomes their primary quality.  I watched Taxi Driver last night with Robert De Niro, no he wasn’t in the room with me, he was the actor who played the character Travis Bickle who was the taxi driver in the film directed by Martin Scorsese.  Travis seemed to be getting his life on track, until he makes a stupid mistake.  He takes this girl Betsy that he likes to a porno movie on their first real date, as they did go out for coffee and pie once before this, however this experience was deemed to be below Betsy’s standards, as she viewed this as being sleazy, not certifiably sensational as Travis intended it to be and it ended their relationship.

During her date with Travis, Betsy played by Cybill Shepherd quotes lyrics from a Kris Kristofferson song to describe Travis.  The song is ‘The Pilgrim: Chapter 33’ from his 1971 album The Silver Tongued Devil and I.  Betsy focuses on the chorus of this song which says, “He’s a poet, he’s a picker He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher He’s a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he’s stoned He’s a walkin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, Takin’ ev’ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home”, in an effort for her to say that she does not really understand or appreciate Travis, because he is so different from anyone that she has ever met.

Before Scorsese filmed Taxi Driver, Kristofferson played a supporting role in Scorsese’s film Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, so Scorsese was familiar with Kristofferson.  The song is not played in the movie and it was not a bit hit for Kristofferson, but this song contains some of the themes of isolation and loneliness that Travis endures in this film.   Taxi Driver is a cinematic portrait of loneliness and alienation that turns to violence.  I see this song as being about a man who is getting near to the end of his life, thinking about the things that he did and the mistakes that he made along the way.   The tortured, ex-Marine cab driver Travis Bickle, made movie history with his chilling performance as one of the most memorably intense and vividly realized characters ever committed to film.  After Betsy disappears from his life, and he fails in his assignation attempt of the presidential nominee, Travis plays guardian angel for a young prostitute Iris who was played by Jodie Foster.  Years later John Hinckley was reportedly seeking fame in order to impress actress Jodie Foster, on whom he had an obsessive fixation, so he tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan.

Travis is definitely a walking contradiction, driving his cab around in a city that he felt was filled with filth.  He is disgusted by sex and by prostitutes, yet he spends a lot of his time in porn theatres and takes prostitutes around in his cab.  He is infuriated with corruption and yet he starts collecting illegal guns, practicing at the range and inventing ways to draw faster.  He decides that he will take better care of his body, yet he pours schnapps on his breakfast.  He views the city as being filled with scum and filth, but the way he lives his own life just makes the city worse.

See him wasted on the sidewalk in his jacket and his jeans,
Wearin’ yesterday’s misfortunes like a smile
Once he had a future full of money, love, and dreams,
Which he spent like they was goin’ outta style
And he keeps right on a’changin’ for the better or the worse,
Searchin’ for a shrine he’s never found
Never knowin’ if believin’ is a blessin’ or a curse,
Or if the goin’ up was worth the comin’ down

He’s a poet, he’s a picker
He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher
He’s a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he’s stoned
He’s a walkin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin’ ev’ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.

He has tasted good and evil in your bedrooms and your bars,
And he’s traded in tomorrow for today
Runnin’ from his devils, lord, and reachin’ for the stars,
And losin’ all he’s loved along the way
But if this world keeps right on turnin’ for the better or the worse,
And all he ever gets is older and around
>from the rockin’ of the cradle to the rollin’ of the hearse,
The goin’ up was worth the comin’ down

He’s a poet, he’s a picker
He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher
He’s a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he’s stoned
He’s a walkin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin’ ev’ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.
There’s a lotta wrong directions on that lonely way back home.

Written for January Monthly prompts – Certifiably sensational.

The Sure Thing

I woke up in 2021 caught in an intimate relationship and I guess that I just got used to having her around.  When we met, she told me that there was no need to romance her, as she was a sure thing.  I became distracted by her beauty which was mesmerizing, but romance was one aspect that I certainly wanted to have in a relationship.  I wanted more and I turned into a basket case because I started ignoring the ignorance of this situation.  I wanted to kiss her and she insisted that wasn’t necessary, so we argued constantly till I got tired.  She looked just like Elizabeth Taylor and I asked her if we could go up on the tin roof with a blanket where we could be like street cats making love.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Distracted, for the Daily Spur prompt – Aspect, for FOWC with Fandango – Intimate, for Linda G. Hill’s ‘Life in progress’ JusJoJan January prompt – Caught, for January Writing Prompts – Ignoring the ignorance, for Ragtag Community – Blanket, for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #167 – I woke up in 2021, for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver hosted by Michael prompt – A basket case, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Tired Tin More and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Mesmerizing.

I’ve Seen Covid and I Smelled Death

I woke up this morning and I wrote this post after listening to James Taylor sing his song ‘Fire and Rain’, so there may be a little of his song buried in my words.  2019 was moving along just fine and in some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday morning, but now 2020 is almost gone.  I have seen anguish and pain in the face of George Floyd saying, “I can’t breathe.”  I learned about QAnon absurdities and I heard a lot of Rudy Giuliani nonsense.  Donald Trump has made over 5,700 Tweets this year and he still thinks that he won the election and many of his supporters continue to send him money.

Florida’s Governor DeSantis directed that COVID-19 vaccines initial phase will be a priority for long-term care facility residents and staff, persons 65 years and older, and health care personnel with direct patient contact.  This was one of my wishes and it means that I can get a vaccine, but since they are no longer taking any appointments, Ima tell ya that I will not be standing in line and waiting till they serve me, which I am not about to do.  I refuse to become a little silhouetto of a man, as I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain and it sounds like this line that would never end, making me a featureless silhouette of a person for spending my whole day standing in it.  They are advising anybody who wants to wait to bring food, water and something to do and this signals me that the vaccines are being mishandled.

I just signed up to take over a community Newsletter, not because I am lonely or I think that I need a friend, it is just that I enjoy writing and I think that I am good at it.  I hope that I didn’t bite off more than I ca chew and this ends up becoming a punch in the gut for me.  I will be responsible for reporting items of special interest, letting people know what is going on around town, what is happing in the association and in the specific section where I live, providing helpful hints and bringing good tidings to those who will receive the newsletter.

My mouse was acting up today, so I cleaned the optical sensor on the bottom and now it is back to normal, which made me happy that it recognized where I was telling it to go.  I am not sure how often I should be cleaning it, but for now it will see me through another day.  I have been walking my mind to an easy time with my back turned towards the sun to ridicule, expose and criticize people’s stupidity in this satire that I call life.

My eye doctor follow-up appointment is set for 3 PM today and I will find out how the latest laser surgery went on my right eye to correct the Posterior Capsule Opacification which manifested after my cataract procedure was done earlier this year.  I hope that this puts an end to all of my vision problems and then I will have more time on my hands to keep writing.  My body’s aching and my time is at hand, but my hope is that we don’t see Trump again in 2024, unless it is at Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World.  I will cook up some leftovers for dinner tonight and I still have some grocery shopping to do, so later tater.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Tidings, for the Daily Spur prompt – Punch, for FOWC with Fandango – Silhouette, for December Monthly Writing Prompts – Ima tell ya, for Ragtag Community – Satire, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Cook Hall Recognized and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Wishes.