And My Bird Can Sing

I bought Twinkles because I loved her voice, and right away I knew that there was something special about this bird.  The owner of the Pet Shop told me that she was a rare cross breed between a canary and a puffin and she may be the only one of her kind.  I was looking for a canary and I didn’t know anything about a puffin bird, so I asked the guy if puffin birds puff up like blowfish.  He said that would be very cute if they were able to do that, but their name stems from them having a dense and puffy covering of down feathers when they are babies and this keeps them warm when their parents are out hunting fish.  He told me that he had been feeding this crossbreed tadpoles, which it seemed to enjoy and he said that he always kept a fresh supply on hand, because many of his customers that kept snakes and alligators think they make a tasty meal.

I bought some cat treats while I was at the Pet shop and the owner warned me not to try and separate my cat and bird, because creating space would only pique my cat’s curiosity and his predatory instincts.  He suggested that I should try to train my cat not to attack the bird, but my best bet would be to get a real sturdy cage.  It usually doesn’t end well when cats and birds live in the same house and birds will get hurt if cats become physical.  My wife loved Twinkles, but her cat actually tried to eat the bird while it was in its cage, however it was unsuccessful in trying to get the door open.  Sylvester the cat was always given plenty of food, so this was clearly a dominance thing on his part and he tried reaching his paw into the cage when the bird was sleeping, but when Twinkles woke up, she pecked him and we had to take Sylvester to the Vet.  Round one for the bird, but Sylvester kept trying as if he was making it his mission to get the bird.

Twinkles was happy in her cage because she was singing every day and she loved the tadpoles that I was feeding her, but her fear of the cat, caused her to have an out of body experience.  She created this smoky projection of her spirit using her third eye to frighten the cat off.  This mystical power provided her perception beyond ordinary sight and now she was the one who was dominating the cat.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge #382 hosted by weejars aka Sarah that uses a photo by Pobble365.

Last Singing Bird

In Steinbeck’s Cannery Row, published 1945, Broke-down Palace was the name that some bums gave to a dilapidated warehouse, where they all resided.  Life is supposed to be about the journey, not the destination, I guess because your memories come from things that you do on the way.  ‘Brokedown Palace’ is a peaceful song by the Grateful Dead and it may be one of the most beautiful songs ever written, however it borders on being morbid and therefore you need to be mature in order to enjoy it.  I see it as a guy singing to his lover about his oncoming demise.  It starts off with a goodbye and then it states the birds that were singing have flown, except you alone.  The guy wants to leave this brokedown palace on his hands and knees, to roll.  He will make himself a bed by the waterside and roll.  In that bed, he will lay his head and listen to the river.  The river will make him sleepy like a lullaby that his Mama once sung.  He is going home to rest his bones, listen to the river sing sweet songs that he hopes will rock his soul.  He wants to plant a weeping willow on the bank of that river, hoping it will grow so that when lovers come and go by, they will enjoy it along with the river as it rolls.  He says goodbye again and that he loves her more than words can tell.

In this song somebody decides that they are going to leave this brokedown palace or perhaps it is a crappy house, to be by a river.  This someone may have led a long life, and they are getting ready to die and they want to say their last goodbye to the one person (the last singing bird) who has stayed with them the whole time.  He would like to be buried by the river, which would be a constant reminder of how life flows and a place where lovers would come and go.  He wants his loved one to come and see the willow that he planted so this can be a remembrance for her as she listens to the sound of the river which should gives him peace in the afterlife.

Fare you well, my honey
Fare you well my only true one
All the birds that were singing
Are flown, except you alone

Don’t want to leave this broke down palace
On my hands and my knees, I will roll, roll, roll
Make myself a bed by the waterside
In my time, in my time, I will roll, roll, roll

In a bed, in a bed, by the waterside
I will lay my head
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

River going to tame me, sing sweet and sleepy
Sing me sweet and sleepy all the way back home
It’s a far gone lullaby, sung many years ago
Mama, mama many worlds I’ve come since I first left home

Goin’ home, goin’ home
By the waterside I will lay my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Going to plant a weeping willow
By the bank’s green edge it will grow, grow, grow
Sing a lullaby beside the water
Lovers come and go, the river roll, roll, roll

Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge #381 hosted by weejars aka Sarah that uses a photo by Jonny Joo, One Big Photo.

Small Breasts Are Sexy

The interviewer said, “To be clear, what you’re saying is that you only photograph women who have small breasts, because you don’t want their breasts to take away from the focus of the story you are trying to tell in your pictures.”  The photographer responded, “All breast sizes are beautiful, but there is something special about a woman with a flat chest.  When they start growing up and puberty hits all their friends and every girl around them is developing breast buds, nickel-sized bumps under the nipple, while their boobs are nonexistent.  They realize that they are destined to be flat, and this recognition that they are different from others makes them hate their body image, just because their tits are so freaking small.  They think that something is wrong with them and they become angry feeling that none of the boys will like them.  They can’t go into the lingerie department at a store, because they don’t even fit into an A size cup and this makes them think that they are less of a woman, because they will never be desired.  Once flat chested women learn how to accept themselves knowing that breasts are essentially just a squishy ball of fat, they can focus on the angst that they have built up over the years and give me the poses that I am looking for.  I feel that less can be more and this special attitude is what I want in my models and also there are very few women with large breasts that look awesome when they don’t have a bra holding them together.”

The interviewer said, “I get it, you use women with smaller breast sizes because if their boobs are objectified, it will detract from the other things in your photos.  I guess that a woman with bigger breasts will never be enjoyed simply for being herself, where a flat chested model is liberated and comfortable with her whole body.   Personally, I believe that anything more-than-a-handful is unnecessary and I have also heard that flat women receive more arousal when their nipples are stimulated.”   The photographer responded, “We are all created perfectly and we look the way we do for a reason.  God created each of us to be unique, flawless in our own way, and it is our job to love the body that we are given.  I love my own small breasts, and I celebrate them proudly, but I don’t show them to the world.  The only comments that I have ever gotten from men about my boobs is that they love them and everyone that I have been with seemed to appreciate them.  Let’s face it, boobs are boobs and no one actually gives a shit about the size.”

The interviewer said, “Can you tell me what story you are trying to tell in this photograph with the girl in the shower.”  The photographer said, “She was grimy from the exercise that she just finished and she hopped into the shower to wash off her sweat.  Heather stayed under the shower longer than she had anticipated, enjoying the cool spray of the water against her skin.  She wondering why she found such intense pleasure in washing her body clean and then she heard a knock on the door.  She smiled as she saw her lover naked and she knew that was going to join her.  When he got into the shower, he touched her skin, which was glowing and fresh from her being fresh as a daisy.  It is not much of a story; it is a real-life situation that happened to me and I had the model reenact this scene.”

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #2 “To be clear, what you’re saying is that” and for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #374.

Moving On

Don’t you dare come any closer, I told my best friend Kathie, or I may puke on you.  I drank way too much and I am still miserable since Jason left me for another man.  I agreed to have a threesome with him, but I didn’t think that I would turn out to be the third wheel.  It all started out so innocently when we were sharing our fantasies and this particular scenario kept recurring for both of us.  I told Jason that I always thought it would be very sexy and extremely exciting if there was another man in bed with us.  I figured that he would say he wanted another woman to join us and I would have readily agreed to that, but instead Jason said that he thought his friend Shane would be able to satisfy both of our needs.  Wow, was that a shocker and then Jason went on to say that the exploration would help him to solidify who he is and let him understand exactly what he wants.

Jason stated that since more and more couples are starting to open up their boundaries and experiment with the male-female-male threesome, that he wanted to test his ability to share me with someone else and see if he could do it without any conflicts or aggression.  Jason said that he was willing to step outside of his comfort zone and test the waters and if there were times when he was not participating, that it would be like watching a live porn show for him.  Jason convinced me that he had a sincere desire to see that my sexual wishes were fulfilled, so I told him to contact his friend Shane and set everything up for a night of passion.  Jason said he would invite his friend over and he assured me that I wouldn’t have to do anything if I changed my mind when he arrived.  I struggled with trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was going to be the center of attention for two men that were going to have sex with me.  When the initial shock wore off, that was replaced by genuine arousal, as I contemplated the possibilities of having two men at my disposal.  Before the big day, Jason asked me what I was hoping for and I told him that I just wanted to have a good time.

When Shane arrived, we all sat on the couch and sipped some wine and when Jason started kissing me, I beckoned Shane to come and sit closer to us.  Shane smiled at both of us and he didn’t seem to need any further motivation as his hands were all over me, running up and down my body.  Four strong hands were soon tracing their way over my butt and breasts, making me feel warm inside, as I was being overcome with pleasure, and everyone was still fully dressed.  I knew that there was no backing down now and I ordered them to take me to the bed, whispering in a sexy tone.  I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I was more than ready to find out.  Shane and Jason, both helped me to get undressed, and I was amazed at the teamwork that they both showed being on the same page and I began to wonder if they had ever done this before.

The guys stripped and I grabbed both of them.  There was something powerful about being able to hold each guy in my hands at the same time and then I had two mouths, two pairs of hands all over my body, as these two horny sexy guys were focusing entirely on me.  I was surprised at how natural the whole experience felt and I kept my eyes wide open wondering what they were going to do to me next.  We got into this position and Jason apologized to Shane for some incidental touching that went on and Shane told him not to worry about it, as he rather enjoyed it.  Jason told Shane that he knew something like this might happen and that as long as Shane was OK with some brief genital-to-genital contact between them, that he was too.

I told both of them that if their touching each other excites them that they should go for it, as we are all here to please each other.  They were all over each other once I told them to go at it and I was no longer the center of attention.  They started having a good time with each other and I watched them enjoy themselves.  When the night ended and Shane left, I told Jason how much I enjoyed doing this and that I hoped we would do it again.  Jason smiled at me and he said that he was definitely going to do this again.

Jason became a lot less attached to his straightness as being his all-important defining characteristic after this night, and he even developed a more conscious awareness that he was heteroflexible.  Jason started canceling dates with me to be with Shane and he even went as far as saying that the sex we had together was boring.  I felt alone, abandoned, and hurt, as my life was turned upside down and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.  I was still crazy for him, but I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him anymore.  My situation was completely hopeless, as I knew that there was no way that I could compete with another man.  I should have known better, as Jason was always a huge George Michael fan and now, I am up here on this overpass looking for the courage to move on in my life.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #1 and for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #373.

Art Of Flirtation

Her book just made the New York Times Best Sellers List and everything was going well in her life now.  Carla Crane was a Romance Novelist who had her heart broken by many men, but she understood how sex motivated a person’s behavior and she put together the ultimate guide for how to flirt with others.  She worked as a dating consultant for Tinder and Bumble and she wrote several articles about which pickup lines worked and why they did.  Carla described how innocent flirting fun opens up a portal to make any relationship more intimate and satisfying.  She explained that flirting is the most important utensil in the dating tool box and that it was necessary for trying to get someone in bed for a one-night stand, and even how helpful it is for spicing up a long-term relationship.  Carla expressed the need for habitual flirting with your partner and at what point it crosses the line.

Carla described herself as a relationship expert and she frowned on people referring to her as being a Sexpert, as she never talked about positions, for her it was all about the chase.  She enjoyed the absolute exhilaration that people feel at the start of every new relationship and she described these burgeoning feelings as the honeymoon phase where everything sails along in a carefree and happy state with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.  Carla stated that flirting should be a positive experience of socially accepted sexual behavior that can alleviate stress while being fun and she even went as far as saying that it should be treated as a sport.  She said that flirting is the first step into exploring what a new relationship has in store for anyone, as without this component you will never be able to see how things will turn out for you.  There is no better way try to increase the intimacy of a relationship than with flirting.  She elaborated on how flirting is a positive method for increasing a person’s self-esteem and that it was an instrumental part of every business deal allowing one to get something from another person.

Carla was just dropped by a taxi in the parking lot for what was seemingly another late-night business meeting with her publisher, but she was much too smart to be fooled, as today was her birthday and she knew that all of her friends would be inside the train to surprise her.  She was appreciative and she was going to attempt to go along with it by feigning surprise, but she was not sure how well she would be able to pull that off.  When she entered the building, she was going to smile and say, “Wow guys, this is wonderful, thank you so much for thinking about me.  This is fabulous and I didn’t have an inkling about what was going on here.”

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #371 that uses a photo by George Natsioulis.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Pain medication never seems to help reduce my abdominal cramps, so I resorted to yoga when my doctor informed me that there is no medical treatment for a stomach virus.  This is one of the more difficult positions, especially because of this insane hanging lizard stance that I assume in order to loosen up the muscles of my belly.  The trick is to apply just enough of the Flex Seal spray adhesive bonding product to the bottom of my feet which grabs and holds instantly to any surface, just before I jump up on the wall.  My wife usually helps me to get down, but she said that she would only help me if I do my yoga naked, because that is the best way to accept your body, let go of my insecurities about my physical appearance and put any body issues to rest.  I tried it her way and I found out that she is right, as when I removed my clothing, I was able to remove any restrictions and this in turn created a greater ease of movement for me, allowing me to focus on my own form.

I discovered that as soon as the fear of being naked faded away that I was able to focus more on the movement of my body.  I only do yoga naked now, as it feels more natural than being fully clothed.  I have been able to develop a very deep connection with my own body, which I had not experienced before.  Moving naked is completely different and every breath that I take increases my self-esteem.  I think this is the only way to experience yoga at its purest, learning to see your body, to look at it, and to accept it the way it is.  I found out that it is much more fun than wearing yoga outfits and it helps me to push the boundaries of what I ever thought was even possible.  Once I get naked, I begin to appreciate the wonderful weirdness of the moment and this has freed me from self-doubts that were holding me back and it has strengthened my ability to break through barriers and press forward to achieve my goals.

Yes, I know that you are wondering about the green body paint, well I can explain that.  My sister Donna came over one day and saw me in my lizard position and since she runs an avant-garde art studio downtown, she asked me if I would want to be part of her new exhibit, which she calls Futurism.  I told her that I was not sure this would fall in my comfort zone, as I am not looking to become the center of attention for a bunch of strangers.  Donna said that people would be staring at me and ogling my naked ass up in the air, but since she doesn’t allow any cameras in her studio, I would not have to worry about any of this following me after the exhibit.  Donna said that the purpose of her show was to get the general public to accept social nudity, because it makes everyone feel happier and that it is only seen as being weird because we don’t see it every day.  Donna said that I would not be the only naked model and that she would be naked in the exhibit with me painted purple posing in the downward dog position.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #370 that uses a photo by Francesco Ungaro on

Irreversible Decision

Most people have never met someone who is transgender, so it can be hard for them to understand this lifestyle.  Transgender people have switched their gender identity so it differs from their biological sex, which is based on their genitals.  Most people who transition to another gender do not have second thoughts because in their brain, they were born transgender and they feel that the gender identity they have chosen is their real gender, because the genitals that they were given at birth were incorrect.  Being transgender is not something that you catch from infected people, nor are you socially conditioned to be transgender.  It doesn’t happen often, but there is something called retransitioning, or detransitioning where people decide to reverse their transition.

Lauren was born a girl and she was not uncomfortable as a child, but that changed when she became an adolescent.  She didn’t seem to fit in with the other girls and at 14, she realized that she was attracted to other girls.  She enjoyed doing the fun things that boys did, but she didn’t want to be a boy, she just wanted to be neutral.  Her breasts were always a problem as a lot of men desired her for her boobs, thinking that she was sexy and they were always hitting on her.  At 15, Lauren believed becoming a woman might limit her choices in life.  All of the unwanted male attention and the discomfort she felt with her female body made her come out as being a bisexual, but she actually thought of herself as a lesbian.  Lauren was miserable and she felt like she was being pushed to decide between transitioning into a man, or committing suicide.  After doing her research, she decided to take the first step into becoming a transgender man.  Lauren got a prescription for testosterone and after she had a mastectomy, she started calling herself Larry.

Larry was assured by the doctor who he trusted that everything would be completely reversible, which ended up being a big crock of shit.  Transitioning to a male was not all that it was cracked up to be as Larry was still suicidal, and he developed an eating disorder.  Larry was passing as a man, and nobody guessed that he was a trans, but he still had all of these mixed feelings inside his head about his life and how everything changed.  He was never fully comfortable being a transgender man and he had to block out all these memories of his childhood when he was a girl.  Dating never worked for him, because he was not comfortable with his new body.  Now that he was a man, he was no longer interested in women and he became attracted to men and started identifying himself as a pansexual.

Larry found this dating site where this guy Oliver was looking for romance with another transgender man, and they hit it off right away.  Oliver had grown up as Olivia, so they had many things in common and eventually they moved in together as a couple.  They had many had intense discussions about their own identities and Oliver started to question whether he was really transgender, which made Larry also have doubts.  They had each other and they both decided to stop taking the hormone injections just to see what would happen to their bodies and face things that they felt they were now ready for.  Several months into their detransitioning, they are now living out their lives as females again and lesbian lovers, which their friends and family are happy about.  It has been a long journey for them and that still may be in-between being happy and normal, but neither one has any regrets about the choices they made.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #365 that uses a photo by Veerendra on

We Can Fly

I am not sure what to make of this painting, and although I like it, it is like being stuck inside of a surreal dream world, where the landscape becomes a waterfall.  The creativity in this picture is pushing the boundaries of reality and of what’s seemingly possible with this delightful image that provokes anyone’s imagination who refuses not to dare what their mind can conceive.  That is so radical how those green fields are spread out over a flat serene area and then suddenly they start flowing down into a mighty waterfall, where a mill wheel spins.  This reality-bending image manipulation is hyper-realistic and yet physically impossible.  Carpets of grass cascading over the edge of the world, like what’s next, is there going to be some badass giant fish that swims up the waterfall and devours a bear?  I am thinking about a dragon flying by and swooping down to pick up the mill wheel, or better yet, perhaps the fish could battle the dragon, well at least I would like to see that.  How about this, a guy and a girl are rowing a boat on the grass and they tumble off of the waterfall, and then the Radio Edit song ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ starts playing and the guy and the girl both sprout wings and they can fly.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #363 that uses a photo by Swedish artist Erik Johansson.

The River Nymph

We all wear masks at certain times, whether it is a paper bag placed over your head, or a cowl to shield our identities and protect our private lives from being destroyed by the world.  Most people can’t stop a runaway train or disarm a bomb, they just have to play the cards that they are dealt and be themselves.  Kate Kane is Bruce Wayne’s cousin being a niece of his mother Martha Wayne, and she suffered a blow to her head which left her with a wound that needed stitches.  This wound was repaired with gold thread that was made from the golden apple that Paris gifted to Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, beauty and sexuality.  There are no stories about Aphrodite having had any female lovers, but basically all of the Greek gods were gay or bi-sexual and Aphrodite kept this part of her life secret, as what was good for the goose, didn’t work so well for the gander, because female homosexuality was frowned upon.  Aphrodite saw something special in Kate Kane, so she decided to help her.

This gold thread had some surprising side effects, and once the injury healed, Kate found that her perception became more sensitive to the world around her, resulting in her gaining a sixth sense.  She was able to sense electromagnetic fields.  Kate was trained as a special forces assassin in the military, but she was discharged under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, when she openly bragged about her strap-on experiences and how passionate her lover was.  After that she spent some time drinking and traveling, trying to avoid her own life due to her unhappiness before she finally returned to Gotham City.

Kate perceived her role as being a skilled vigilante and she totally wanted to be kicking some ass as a gay superhero crusader.  Kate wanted to save the world by utilizing her superhuman willpower to thwart evil, because her sister Beth disappeared and she felt that this was her fault.  Kate got a lead on her sister’s whereabouts from the river nymph that sewed up her wound and the nymph also told her that Dr. August Cartwright had desecrated her mother’s corpse, and was keeping her severed head as a memento.  Kate knew that she had to kill August when the nymph told her that August and his son were out fishing when they came upon Beth Kane, who washed up on shore after a car accident that killed her mother and they were holding Beth as a prisoner in their basement.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #362 that uses a photo by Kamil Rybarski.

Inside My Head

I have 15 demons inside my head, I try to ignore them while they try to control me.  Sometimes they become extremely loud and boisterous preventing me from doing anything and then I have to resort to smoking opium to get any peace.  I try to reason with them and I tell them that I don’t want to be their zombie, but most of these demons are pure evil.  They once told me to stab myself in the face with a scissor and I was bleeding all over the place and they all just laughed at me.  They seem to like Black Sabbath music and especially the song ‘Black Sabbath’ that this chose to be named after.  They were originally called Earth till they found out that another band was using that name.  They got Black Sabbath from a 1963 horror movie starring Boris Karloff which lead singer Ozzy Osbourne and bass player Geezer Butler went to see.

They started rehearsing some new material, and they experienced a supernatural experience.  Geezer and guitarist Tony Iommi were playing new riffs for Ozzy and drummer Bill Ward when, much to everyone’s surprise, they both strummed the same notes at the same tempo, although neither had ever before heard the other one play that piece.  They were convinced that this was an omen, Geezer christened the song and the group Black Sabbath.  They realized that a lot of people were paying money to watch horror movies, so they figured that they should start writing horror music, and when the hairs stood up on their arms, they knew it was strange, but they all liked it.  The thing is that Black Sabbath never practiced black magic, they never aligned with the dark forces, as they stood against black magic and they never tried to conjure up the devil.  Black Sabbath engaged in white powder not Saran worship, but many satanic admirers became their fans.

Butler was obsessed with the occult at this time, and he even went so far as to paint his apartment matte black and placed several inverted crucifixes and pictures of Satan on the walls.  Ozzy Osbourne gave Butler a black occult book, written in Latin and decorated with numerous pictures of Satan.  Butler read the book and then placed it on a shelf beside his bed before going to sleep.  When he woke up, he claims he saw a large black figure standing at the end of his bed, with a sinister stare of impending doom.  After a few frightening moments, the figure slowly vanished into thin air and Butler ran to the shelf where he had placed the book earlier, but the book was gone.

The band had another brush with the devil, which happened one night, after they finished a show, when they returned to their hotel and found the corridor leading to their rooms was completely filled with people wearing black cloaks, sitting on the floor with candles in their hands, chanting “Ahhhh”.  They climbed over these people so they could get to their rooms, but they could still hear them chanting.  They called security, but since that didn’t work, they synchronized their watches, opened all of their doors at the same time, blew the candles out and sang “Happy Birthday” to the intruding Satan worshipers to piss them off.

I have my own big and scary monsters and they look like beasts and wear masks to become more villainous to me.  I wake up every morning to fight the same demons and my only solace is that one day the grim reaper will be coming for me, and I am ready to look the devil straight in his face and scare him shitless after all of the torment these demons have put me through.  I will smile as I take these bastards with me and drag all of them straight to hell.

What is this that stands before me?
Figure in black which points at me
Turn around quick, and start to run
Find out I’m the chosen one
Oh no

Big black shape with eyes of fire
Telling people their desire
Satan’s sitting there, he’s smiling
Watches those flames get higher and higher
Oh no, no, please god help me!

Is it the end, my friend?
Satan’s coming ‘round the bend
People running ‘cause they’re scared
The people better go and beware
No, no, please, no

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Nekneeraj’s Photo Challenge #360 that uses a picture by Yuuki Morita.