Lies and Pain and Sorrow

My heart was broken and my life was filled with pain and sorrow.  I was in the hospital for five days with pneumonia after kissing this guy and now I am free of him.  I came here to smell the roses and appreciate the beauty of life, as there are no more chains to bind me.  Here I stand with my head held high, I am glad he’s gone, now I can go on and learn to fly.  I was feeling very small, but now I have it all.  My heart won’t break again and I will leap from flower to flower, making sure that I avoid the bees.

What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he’ll never phone ya
I’ll never fall in love again
Dontcha know that I’ll never fall in love again?
Don’t tell me what it’s all about
‘Cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So far at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
No, no, I’ll never fall in love again
Ahh, out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So far at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
Dontcha know that I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

Killer Legs

She was to die for and in fact her silicone curves came with a warning about sex addiction, because she was designed to be the perfect companion.  Her legs went all the way down to the floor, they seemed to go on forever, and all men thought that was her best feature, especially when she was wrapping them around their backs.  The men were all familiar with Mathew’s saying, “Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”, but they still devoted most of their time to gazing at her alluring legs and found themselves spellbound in visual foreplay to the point where they had to have her.  The company that designed her Robotic Rhapsody named her Sadie the sex kitten.

They claimed that a half hour in bed with her was equal to the cardio workout of running a marathon and other than the risk of having a heart attack or a stroke, it would always be safe sex.  Sadie came with a companion for those who liked to tape their sexcapades and Max as he was called, came with antennas for webcasting the show.  Sadie could do things with her tail that drove men absolutely out of their minds, but it was those tongues that stick out of her knees were her secret weapons.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

New Kaleidoscopes

When you look into these tube-shaped kaleidoscopes with their conical ends, there’s no telling what objects you will see as the cylinder rotates.  Kaleidoscope technology has made a giant leap forward and these devices are no longer just toys for kids.  They take full advantage of the the new technologies of computer animation and digital creation.  They were designed to replace video games and they have the ability to tell some great stories that have a plot and contain adventure, danger, daring characters and they are very colorful.  The stories change each time you look into these devices.

The short fat one in the front with a picture of Davy Jones locker on one end and Atlantis on the other end is loaded with pirate legends and other underwater adventures.  The short thinner one in the middle that shows the twin peaks on one end and the evil eye on the other end is filled with horror stories and it is not for the faint of heart.  An FBI investigator is partnered with another Special Agent and these characters look into unsolved cases that usually involve mystical happenings.  The large one in the back with the devil on one end and fields that are alive with the sound of music on the other end contains the story about Robert Johnson going down to the crossroads and selling his soul for guitar skills and it also contains other tales of Blues legends that played the devil’s music.  New devices that include new stories will be coming out shortly, so stay tuned.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

Life Is Just A Dream

The people in my dream became real to me, haunting my mind last night. In this crazy dream, I was standing inside the doorway of a rainbow looking out at a field of luscious green grass that was calling to me. I walked on the grass and then I turned around and this is where my dream got really weird, as I was looking up at this unbelievable sight, which I shall try to describe for you. I realized that that I was naked, but it didn’t matter, as everyone else was also naked. The rainbow that I mentioned now looked more like the end of two rainbows being joined together, where one might expect to find a pot of gold.

Above the rainbows, everything was bazar, disorienting, hallucinatory, nonsensical a surreal place that was ruled by the bearded king who smiled at me and told me to join in the fun. The goose that laid the golden eggs was right behind him and it was making out with a bald-headed woman. The golden eggs had been minted into coins and they were being carried to the king’s treasury. Most of the people were around my size, but the woman making out with the goose and the one carrying the box of coins were like giants to the rest of us. I saw a lovely tree containing two partridges and next to that a pregnant woman was riding on a cornucopia. The moon hung very low in the sky and cats appeared inside the craters and to the right of that three alien spiders were walking down the rainbow.

I jumped up on a horse and then I ended up on the top of a hill and then all of a sudden, an earthquake shook the ground and the hill collapsed. I fell off of my horse and the landslide took me into the ocean. A violin river rushed out of a silk trombone and a giant wave of water started flooding the land, and the water was so cold that I started to freeze. I started swimming and I managed to swim out into the streets where a whole crowd of people started cheering when they saw me. The three spiders each grabbed their swords and charged at me. I saw a spear on the ground, so I picked it up and I threw it at one of the spiders and I killed him. The other spiders ran away and then water was rushing everywhere. I rang a silent bell as this ship passed by me and they stopped to let me climb on board. That is when my dream ended and I woke up in a cold sweat.

The funny thing is that I always wear pajamas when I sleep and this morning, I woke up naked and the king’s crown was on my bed. I started singing, “Sh-boom sh-boom ya-da-da da-da-da da-da-da da sh-boom, life is just a dream.”

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

The Lady Giant

Yes, that one from the Jack and the Beanstalk story, the one who hid Jack in a copper pot, so her husband would not eat the young boy for breakfast, well she is back.  She lived above the clouds with her Giant husband, but he passed on and she became lonely.  The beanstalk had long since decayed and disappeared and she decided to embark on an adventure to see what was down below.  Over the years, all of her clothes had rotted away, because of all the dampness up in the clouds and she did not have any material left to make a new outfit for herself.  Before she met her late husband, she worked as a nude model and she became extremely comfortable with her body considering it to be a work of art.

She knew that she would not be able to find a mate like this, as clothes have a lot to say about who you are.  Fashion would affect her dating strategy and if she could only get some sexy clothes, that would go a long way to spicing up her love life and allow her to become the ultimate temptress, teasing all the available Giant men.  Jack had become quite rich from that golden goose, but sadly it passed away last year and right now he was looking for new business opportunities.  The lady Giant recognized Jack and he told her that he could get her material for new clothes if she was willing to give the local townsfolk tours of her castle up in the clouds.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

Vesta Warms The Day

Saturn swallowed his first five children, those being Vesta, Ceres, Juno, Pluto, and Neptune.  While Vesta was trapped inside the stomach of her father Saturn, she always regarded her younger siblings as being her wards, so she saw to their well-being as best she could.  Vesta was not happy being inside her dad’s stomach, so she made herself turn into a flame and she exuded hydrochloric acid, which helped to digest the food that her father ate and it also killed any surrounding bacteria to protect her siblings.  This caused her father to experience a painful burning feeling of indigestion after each meal that he consumed.  Her brothers and sisters which were all swallowed after her, did not like the fiery symptoms that she produced, but since she was the first child inside, she made all the rules.  The only thing that gave Vesta’s siblings any pleasure while they were in the belly of their father, was when Saturn ate salty cakes, as this allowed them to tolerate the fire made by Vesta.

Jupiter freed his brothers and sisters from his father’s belly by making Saturn vomit.  As Vesta was the first to be swallowed, she was also the last one to be disgorged, and so she became the eldest and the youngest of the six Olympians.  Vesta’s sisters, Ceres and Juno both got married and bore children, but Vesta was never able to tolerate men.  When the gods Phoebus and Neptune sought her hand in marriage, Vesta refused and she asked Jupiter to let her remain an eternal virgin. Jupiter agreed and then Vesta took her place at his royal hearth.  Her symbol became the sacred eternal flame.  Vesta remained sexually pure and uncorrupted, saving her energy for protecting the earth, and being the guardian of the Roman people.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

Love Shack

They told me that I would find true love here.  I have been looking, I got a degree in cooking, when will I find love?  Every time I find a lover, they end up breaking my heart in two and I used to love them, but it’s all over now.  My doctor told me that all I need is some good lovin’.  He said that I need to get someone to squeeze me tight and that would make me feel alright.  I don’t care too much for money, because it can’t buy me love.  I want somebody to love, I need somebody to love, I have to get somebody to love.  I need to get some huggin’ and a-kissin’, dancin’ and a-lovin’.  I have got an empty cup only love can fill and I wonder how sweet it would feel to be loved by you.  My love comes a-tumbling down and begins to shine in the midnight hour to let me feel the love that’s shining all around you.  I once thought that love could wait, but now I am hoping that love will find a way to my heart.  Let me hear that sweet love song, so I can feel complete.  Way down in the south of France all the ladies love to dance and I heard that everybody is making love at the love shack, and I am so ready for that.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

Dream Police

Maybe I am just being a bit paranoid, ever since that blog scraping hit WordPress, but I am pretty sure they are watching me while I am sleeping.  They are not just stealing information from my blog, they are stealing all the thoughts out of my head.  I couldn’t get into my email account yesterday, so I called my provider to see what the problem was and they told me that I changed my password.  They said that they could give me a new password if I answered some security questions, which I did.  Then I changed my password so the hacker could not get in again and I developed all new security questions, because I thought that was how they got into my email account in the first place.

My credit card company alerted me to some suspicious activity on my card and they asked me if I had booked a trip to Aruba, which I didn’t so I had to cancel that card and they will be sending me a new one.  Someone tampered with my car, they sabotaged my steering system and my brakes and my car crashed into a tree.  My air bag did not engage and I was hurt in the accident.  I probably should have died and as I waited for help I looked in my glove compartment for my registration and insurance card and I discovered that someone had planted drugs in there and I had to eat a whole bag of pot before the cops came, although that did help with the pain from smashing my face into the windshield.  Someone installed spyware on my cell phone and they read all my text messages and I think that they are tracking my GPS location.  They sent out a bunch of White Supremacist texts and now the FBI thinks that I am a terrorist.  They added my name to the no-fly list, so now even if I wanted to go to Aruba, I would not be allowed.

When I woke up this morning there was a pool of blood in my bed and the severed head of a horse.  There was also a note that said, “Soon you will sleep with the fishes”, so I think that the mob is after me.  I can’t understand any of this, as I am actually a real nice guy, but if I ever get my hands on the Dream Police that have been doing this to me, I will …. who am I kidding, I won’t do nothing as I am scared.  I guess I will just lube up, bend over and take it.

The dream police
They live inside of my head
The dream police
They come to me in my bed
The dream police
They’re coming to arrest me
Oh no

You know that talk is cheap
And rumors ain’t nice
And when I fall asleep
I don’t think I’ll survive

The night the night

‘Cause they’re waiting for me
Looking for me
Every single night
(They’re) driving me insane
Those men inside my brain

The dream police
They live inside of my head
The dream police
They come to me in my bed

The dream police
They’re coming to arrest me
Oh no

Well I can’t tell lies
‘Cause they’re listening to me
And when I fall asleep
Bet they’re spying on me tonight,
Tonight

‘Cause they’re waiting for me
Looking for me
Every single night
(They’re) driving me insane
Those men inside my brain

I try to sleep
They’re wide awake
They won’t let me alone
They don’t get paid to take vacations
Or let me alone
They spy on me
I try to hide
They won’t let me alone
They persecute me
They’re the judge and jury all in one

‘Cause they’re waiting for me
Looking for me
Every single night
(They’re) driving me insane
Those men inside my brain

The dream police
They live inside of my head
The dream police they come
To me in my bed

The dream police
They’re coming to arrest me

The dream police (police, police)
The dream police (police, police)

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

The Rifleman

Mark McCain knew which Indians were friendly and those that were fierce and hostile in the area around the town of North Fork, which was part of New Mexico Territory.  He knew that he was in trouble, when he encountered this tribe, because they were Comanche Indians who enjoyed robbing, killing, plundering, torturing and scalping White people.  His dad Lucas had taught him how to shoot a rifle since he was old enough to walk and he had become quite the marksman.  Marks’ horse had broken its leg jumping over a creek and he had to shoot him, so now he was on foot.  The Comanche used rifles as well as bow and arrows and they were renowned for their ability to fight from horseback, so he was worried because they had a mobility advantage and he was outnumbered.

Being on foot in the wild west, and knowing that these Indians would be fighting to the death, he planned to open fire as soon as they came into range.  Mark knew that the Comanche were pushed off of their land and he felt a bit sorry about that, but they were the enemy and he knew that they had been raping women, killing children and taking captives for years.  The Comanche were incredibly warlike and they had committed many atrocities, so this was a shoot first and kill, or else end up being killed situation for young Mark.  His dad always taught him to choose his battles and pick the hill that he wanted to die on, but the Indians had taken the high ground today.  Mark had slayed one of them and he was holding this scalp in his right hand in hopes to ward off any other attackers.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.

How Does Your Garden Grow

I just got back to the garden and the flowers were half a million strong.  There was lavender and hollyhocks, forget-me-nots and marigolds and scarlet begonias too.  The baby’s breath and candytuft were all standing up so tall.  These odd looking talking heads started to pop up out of the ground, I sure hope that they stick around.  Day after day they stand up there on the hill, keeping perfectly still, watching the sun going down and seeing the world spinning around.  It looks like the rain is gonna come down, as it seems to be bubbling over their heads.  Some little sprouts have taken root, OMG they look so cute.

Written for Kira’s Sunday Scribbles weekly inspirational art piece.