Weak in the Knees

I rarely have sex like that anymore and her unusual method caused a really intense sensation which made my butt cheeks clinch together.  It is like riding a bicycle, as even if you fall off a few times, when you get back on it still feels amazing.  She called it the Butterfly and she would lay on the bed while I was standing up.  She would shimmy to the edge of the bed and rest her legs on my chest, hooking them on my shoulders for leverage.  She had me place my hands on her hips to help lift her up.  I thought that the Kamasutra was extinct, but she told me that this was position #76 and it allowed her to feel super submissive and dominated.  Hope was a funny girl and she was very understanding and the moments we spent with each other are portraits of time for me.

Written for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Hope, for the Daily Spur prompt – Understanding, for FOWC with Fandango – Rarely, for Christine’s Daily Writing Prompt – Funny girl, for January Writing Prompts – Portraits of time, for Ragtag Community – Extinct, for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompt – Unusual and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Clinch.

You Are My Sunshine

Sunshine is supposed to light up your day and the song ‘You Are My Sunshine’ is often thought to be an uplifting heartwarming song about love, but the lyrics are about abandonment and it is actually heartbreaking.  This guy totally loves this girl and he dreams about her and when he wakes up, he finds out that she is gone, which makes him cry.  He tells her how much he loves her and he wishes that she would say the same words to him.  He threatens her not to leave him, telling her that if she finds another, he will make her regret that.  She did tell him once that she loved him, but now she is gone and with another.  He still wants her, says that he will forgive her and take her back, because she means everything to him.

This may be the first stalker song ever recorded, as this guy can’t take a hint and he is never going to give up on this girl, no matter what she does.  There is a line between romance and stalking, but this guy does not see it.  He adores her too much and he doesn’t understand difference between being in love with someone and being obsessed with them because this line has become blurred for him with his passion for her.

The country singer George Jones once called ‘You Are My Sunshine’ the most perfect song ever written, and many others consider it to be the third best-known song ranking right after ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘White Christmas’.  The song was first recorded by the Pine Ridge Boys on August 22, 1939 and Paul Rice copyrighted it in 1937, however, the family of musician Oliver Hood, a music teacher and a master of the mandolin from LaGrange, Georgia, and also a colleague of Rice’s, have claimed that Hood actually wrote the song.  Oliver Hood wrote the words to this song on the back of a brown paper sack, which his children still possess, and he first performed the song at a VFW convention in LaGrange in 1933.  He sang it through a megaphone out of a hotel window, and he sang no less than twenty verses, most of which are lost.  In 1939 Rice sold the rights to the song to Charlie Mitchell and Jimmie Davis (a common practice in the music business of that era).  Jimmie Davis was a well-known country singer and politician.  He recorded ‘You Are My Sunshine’ in 1940, and the song propelled him to elected office in 1944 and again in 1960.  The 1940 version by Davis has been added to the National Recording Registry in the Library of Congress on March 21, 2013, for long-term preservation.  He used it as his campaign theme, often singing it while riding a horse called Sunshine and it has been declared one of the state songs of Louisiana.

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
I’ll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You’ll regret it all some day
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you’ve left me and love another
You have shattered all of my dreams
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So when you come back and make me happy
I’ll forgive you dear, I’ll take all the blame
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Saturday Mix – Mad About Metaphor, hosted by weejars aka Sarah and our metaphor this week is You Are My Sunshine.

Cliff Stopped By

I got together with a childhood friend of mine the other day and he told me a story that made me smile.  He said that his father was a bigot and he called their neighbors daygos because they were Italian.  Daygo is a derogatory word that was used for Italian immigrants that were forced to work in the coal mines and they would get paid cash-in-hand at the end of each day, thus they were getting paid as the day goes, hence they were called Day-gos.  My friend Cliff did not realize that his dad was a bigot, because he was young and he thought that the Italians that lived next door to him had the last name of Dagoes.  One day when he came home from school there was a sign on his door that said your package was left at the next-door neighbor’s house.  Cliff went there rung the bell and when the lady gave him the package, he said, “Thank you Mrs. Daygos” and he wondered why she gave him a funny look.  It was good to share the old memories that I had with Cliff.

Written for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Memories Smile Childhood.

The Two Towers

I was on an interview that day and it seemed to be going really well, but the guy interviewing me said that he wanted somebody else to talk with me, however they were in a meeting at that time and he wondered if I could wait around.  Hey I was already out of work for three months at this time and I drove 90 miles to get to this interview, so I assured him that would not be a problem.  He suggested that I go out to a coffee shop and come back in an hour.  I found a coffee shop just down the street and I ordered a cup of coffee and a pastry.  I sat at a table and I was able to see the TV which had the news on and that kept me entertained.

I saw a report of a plane that hit the tower and I didn’t understand what was going on and somebody in the coffee shop said, “Turn the volume up.”  This was absolutely crazy as black smoke was pouring out of this hole in the World Trade Center and then another plane struck the other tower.  I didn’t want to go back for the interview and I drove straight home.  There were no radio stations on the air, it was static as all radio communications were broadcast from the World Trade Center and worse yet, there was no cell coverage.  I could not get a signal on my phone and all I wanted to do was call my wife and tell her what I saw.  I got through to her on the land line after I reached my house, but because she was a hospital worker, she had to stay as they were told that they might be receiving a lot of emergency cases.

I sat in front of my TV the rest of the day and binge watched all the news programs.  A month later I got a call from that company and they told me that I was hired.  Nothing was ever mentioned about me not coming back.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is the movie title of the last movie that I just watched and this happened to be Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

Why Do I Hate Rap Music?

As Elizabeth Barrett Browning once said, “Let me count the reasons why”.  The lyrics rhyme, but it is not what I would call music, as I only hear noise while the song goes on blah, blah, blah.  Gang bangers demeaning women calling them bitches and whores, but the kids who walk around with their pants hanging off their butt’s, all like the swearing.  The more times the “F” bomb is dropped, the more popular the song becomes.  The lyrics are pure garbage and even David Peel and the Fugs are able to write better stuff.  Any idiot could write a song using a repetitive bass rhythm while avoiding the use of any real music in it.  The emphasis on rhymes becomes tedious, it’s a drag that gets mechanical and mind numbing for me very quickly.  Just about every rap song has the same beat and they all seem to sound the same to me.  Some of the videos are fun and I do like that song from the Wedding Singer ‘Rappers Delight’.

Written for Normal Happenings Daily Inkling prompt- I only hear noise.

A Real Challenge Just to Stay Alive

I just wrote a new song and it goes like this.  It is just lyrics, but I hope to get some music to go along with it.

This is my story and it must be told
I was trouble, that’s the way I rolled
It was late at night and nobody was on the road
I lived to party, that was my only code
Looked at my speedometer and it said 95
That’s the truth, it ain’t no jive
Someone in the back yelled, “Put on the breaks”
I looked ahead and got the shakes
The road was ending and doom was near
I held the wheel tight and put down my beer
I turned to the left and my car went into a slide
This is the night that I should have died
My breaks screeched as I blew through the stop sign
My car continued traveling sideways in a straight line
I hit the divider and my car rocked to and fro
I got two flat tires and I thought I would need a tow
I should have died out on Hadley Road that night
I should have been dead looking into the light
It all happened way too fast out there on Hadley Road
My body should have been all mangled and getting cold
Someone must have been watching over me
Or was this just a case of serendipity
God watches out for children, drunks and fools
I was always the one breaking the rules

Dog Day Afternoon

1. What’s the difference between a hair and a whisker?
Location is the key, but a whisker by any other name would still hurt if it were being plucked out of your skin.

2. How many spots were there in 101 Dalmatians?
The Dalmatian breed can have anywhere between 50 to 500 spots, so the average would be 275, but most of these dogs were puppies, so let’s go lower and say 125. Multiplying 125 spots per dog by 101 dogs you would get 12,625 spots, so as Lady Macbeth said when she washed her hands before she let the dogs out, “Out damned spot.”

3. What is the Flying Dog?

4. Why do we say ‘sick as a dog?’
That phrase comes from dogs always having wet noses, so people thought they were sick.

5. What is meant by ‘going to the dogs’?
The dogs were always kept in a kennel that was downhill, just so people would not be downwind of the smell it had. They had to feed the dogs, so they had to go downhill to do that and going downhill became associated with going to the dogs, just as something that began to deteriorate, or degenerate did and after that it was all going down the drain.

6. Who or what is ‘Goofy?’
Goofy looks like a dog and he is a close friend of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.

7. Where is the Dog Star?
The concept of a month is based on phases of the Moon.  Most ancient cultures defined a month based on the sighting of a new moon.  A lunar month is actually 29.5 days, so 12 lunar months adds up to 354 lunar days, which left man 11 days short of a solar year.  The ancient Egyptians studied the stars, so they could calculate a more accurate measurement of what a year is.  They used Sirius, the Dog Star, to predict the annual flooding of the Nile.  By studying Sirius, the Egyptians became the first civilization that was able to switch from a lunar to a solar calendar.  A problem showed up because every four years Sirius arrived a day late.  This meat that the solar year is really closer to 365 days and six hours, which threw the calendar off, but eventually man came up with leap year and we added a day to February, every fourth year.  Over time it was discovered that the solar year consists of 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes and 46 seconds, which amounted to 3 days less over every 400 years span of the calendar.  This problem is solved by allowing the years ending in ’00 only to be leap years if they could be divided by 400, so three leap years disappear and the calendar is fixed.

8. Where will you find puppies on a roll?
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so this can only be done with puppies. To teach your puppy to roll over, you should kneel beside your dog and hold a small, yummy treat to the side of their head near their nose, so they can smell it. Now move your hand from their nose toward their shoulder luring them to roll flat on their side. Try this a few times and praise your dog when they do the trick and make sure to give them the treat each time, they follow your directions.

9. What are hush puppies?
They were invented South Carolina by hunters, who fried up cornmeal bread for dogs to eat during a cookout and they discovered that this treat kept their dogs from barking.

10. What is the hair of the dog?
Whatever does not kill you, makes you stronger and people started eating the hair of dogs to prevent their dogs from eating them.

Written for Di’s Fibbing Friday.