What Will We Play Tonight

We will open up with a post jazz/pre-swing sounding song, ‘Put A Lid On It’ by the Squirrel Nut Zippers and then we will transcend into that jazz-eletronica-pop mix song, Weird Cat by the GoGo Penguins. We should rock out next with ‘My Baby is an Axe Murderer’ by Stop Calling Me Frank to wake up the crowd, which we can follow with Queen of Pornography by Loudmouthkitten.  Nobody seems to like that song we were doing by Abstract Evil Barbie, so we are dropping that from our repertoire.  Since Punk is Passé and Grunge is Gone, in order to please our younger audience, we will do that song, ‘Sweet Young Thang’ by Bimbo Toolshed next, which should lead nicely into that Australian psychedelic punk song, ‘Too Much Acid’ by The Pineapples from the Dawn of Time.  I think our audience will be ready for some Heavy Metal Headbanger music like ‘Rise Up’ by Devil with Cheese and we can follow this with the alternative or modern rock song, ‘(I Have No Life) Outside of My Mind’ by Reign of Frogs.  Like always, we will end our first set with Feet On My Back Again by Kissyfoot.

Our second set will feature songs by The Advil Monkeys, Angry Samoans, Arthur Loves Plastic, Bad Mutha Goose, Big White Undies, Blow Monkeys, Bordering On Retarded, Circle Jerks, Flaming Box of Ants, He’s Dead Jim, Lick, the Dog, The Price of Dope, Real Fucking Idiots, Shoot the Mime and Uncle Bob Touched Me.  We should really start writing our own songs and change our name to something else other than the Stinky Socks.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt #224 – Name that Tune.

Semiramis

When Noah and his family left the ark after the flood, they settled first at the northern feet of Ararat, then the families of Japheth, Shem, and Ham began to spread out into the fertile crescent regions of Mesopotamia (which would come to be called Sumer and Akkad), as well as the Nile valley, the Anatolian and Iranian plateaus, Arabia, and Ethiopia.  Most of the stories about Semiramis are just legends, but supposedly she was born in Ashkelon (in present-day Israel), being the fruit of a pairing between the Syrian goddess Derceto  (a local version of the Phoenician goddess Astarte and the Babylonian Ishtar) and a young Syrian man.  Ashamed of the relationship, the goddess abandoned the baby girl, who at first was cared for by doves.  Later, the chief shepherd of the king of Assyria ended up adopting the child and giving her the name Semiramis.

Noah’s grandson Cush got married to this woman named Semiramis.  Cush and Semiramis had a son who they named Nimrod.  After Cush died, Nimrod married his own mother and he became a powerful King.  Semiramis was known as the goddess Ishtar or Astarte and the whore of Babylon, and also the Mother of Prostitutes and Abominations of the Earth.  Nimrod thought of himself as a god in a new religion that he created and he lead the world into an open rebellion against God.  Shem was a son of Noah and he watched his great nephew Nimrod organizing the human race into a world government centered on idolatry worship and human sacrifice.  Shem decided to do something about this tyranny and prove that Nimrod was not a god.  Shem saw the hold that evil had over Nimrod, so he went to his house and he managed to gouge out one of his eyes and then he beat him to death.  Shem had Nimrod’s body cut up into 14 little pieces, which were distributed to all the cities under Nimrod’s rule, as a warning against people practicing the pagan religion of sun worship and using sorcery to control people.

Semiramis gathered all of the parts, except she was not able to locate his reproductive organ.  Semiramis claimed that Nimrod could not come back to life without it and told the people of Babylon that Nimrod did ascend to the sun and he was now to be called Baal, the sun god.  Queen Semiramis also proclaimed that Baal would be present on earth in the form of a flame, whether it be a candle or lamp, when it was used in worship.  Semiramis further developed this new and mysterious religion, and with the help of Satan, she set herself up as a goddess.  Semiramis claimed that she was immaculately conceived.  She eventually became pregnant, while still asserting that she was a virgin and she claimed that it was the rays of the sun-god Baal that caused her to conceive.  Semiramis named her son Tammuz and she claimed that he was Nimrod reborn.

Back Door Man

The phrase ‘back-door man’ refers to a man having an affair with a married woman, using the back door as an exit before the husband comes home.  A back door man is the secret lover of a married woman, who’s scooting out the back door just before the man of the house who has been out slaving away to provide for her is opening up the front door.  Some people think that this song is about having a proclivity for anal sex, but I tend to think that it is just about a man who provides sexual services to women that are not being satisfied by their husbands.  ‘Back Door Man’ is a blues song written by Willie Dixon and recorded by Howlin’ Wolf in 1960.

This song contains a metaphor that compares pork and beans with chicken where the husbands are getting served pork and beans because that’s a cheap easy supper, while the back door man is getting chicken, which takes considerably more effort.  The Back Door Man is bragging about many housewives he’s gotten to short-change their husbands out of the good meat with their dinner because they like him better.  The Back Door Man is getting the best of both worlds, as he brags about how he gets the best food and the best sex from these lonely housewives.  Eating chicken may be viewed as a blues double entendre for cunnilingus.

The term ‘little girl’ is just a Southern blues term of endearment for whatever chick he’s banging that day. It does not mean a child.  ‘The men don’t know, but the little girl understand’ means literally that in his experience, the husband is generally clueless to his presence, but the lonely housewives all understand why the Back Door Man is coming around.  The whole song is a brag, where the Back Door Man is saying, ‘I’m the stud who your wife is fornicating with while you’re at work, I do it all the time, she likes me more than you, I ate all your good food and snuck out the back door and you’re too stupid to do anything about it.’

Crawling King Snake is a blues song that has been recorded by numerous blues and other artists, however the original song writer is unknown.  This song was made popular when John Lee Hooker began performing it in the 1940’s.  Like many blues songs, this one is about sex, with the ‘king snake’ being a fairly obvious metaphor.  Long before rockers and rappers did it, blues musicians often bragged about their sexual prowess.  The blues were a big influence on The Doors, especially the Lizard King Jim Morrison, who loved to sing old blues numbers when he got drunk.

The Doors- Back Door Man (From “Live In Europe 1968” DVD)

Back Door Man

Wha, yeah!
C’mon, yeah
Yeah, c’mon, yeah
Yeah, c’mon
Oh, yeah, ma
Yeah, I’m a back door man
I’m a back door man
The men don’t know
But the little girl understand
Hey, all you people that tryin’ to sleep
I’m out to make it with my midnight dream, yeah
‘Cause I’m a back door man
The men don’t know
But the little girls understand
All right, yeah
You men eat your dinner
Eat your pork and beans
I eat more chicken
Than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah
I’m a back door man, wha
The men don’t know
But the little girls understand
Well, I’m a back door man
I’m a back door man
Whoa, baby,
I’m a back door man
The men don’t know
But the little girls understand

Crawling King Snake
Well, I’m the Crawlin’ King Snake
And I rule my den
I’m the Crawlin’ King Snake
And I rule my den
Yeah, don’t mess ‘round with my mate
Gonna use her for myself
Caught me crawlin’, baby, window
Grass is very high
Keep on crawlin’ till the day I die
Crawlin’ King Snake
And I rule my den
You better give me what I want
Gonna crawl no more
Caught me crawlin’, baby
Crawlin’ ‘round your door
Seein’ everything I want
I’m gonna crawl on your floor
Let’s crawl
And I rule my den
C’mon, give me what I want
Ain’t gonna crawl no more
Alright, crawl a while
C’mon crawl
C’mon crawl
Get on out there on your hands and knees, baby
Crawl all over me
Just like the spider on the wall
Ooo, we gonn’ crawl, one more
Well, I’m the Crawlin’ King Snake
And I rule my den
Call me the Crawlin’ King Snake
And I rule my den
Yeah, don’t mess ‘round with my mate
Gonna use her for myself

This post was written for Helen Vahdati’s October 14, 2017 Song Lyric Sunday, where this week’s theme is bragging.

California Succumbs To Fires

Fast-moving wildfires are raging across Northern California, killing people, sending others to hospitals, forcing many to evacuate while it is destroying landscapes, houses and buildings and damaging critical infrastructure.  In the wake of these fires, white smoke has blotted out the Sun and people are returning to smoldering debris and their charred personal effects.  The property damage is already among the worst ever seen in California from a fire, and this is only expected to increase as these fires keep burning.  Curfews have been put in effect to protect against looting.

The heat, the lack of humidity and the wind gusts exceeding 50 miles an hour are all driving this very dangerous situation and making it a recipe for disaster.  California had a wet spring which allowed new vegetation to grow, but the summer was very dry and now this newly grown vegetation is just making more fuel for the fires.  Many people are getting smoke in their eyes and others are chocking from smoke inhalation.  Firefighters are braving hot temperatures and other dangers, as they are trying to contain the outbreak, but they are being hindered because a number of roadways, including highways are being blocked by these immense fires.

Winds have been propelling the fires faster than people can run.  Embers are leapfrogging hundreds of yards, even jumping across six lane wide highways, which would ordinarily serve as an ideal, built-in fire break.  The fast moving wind-driven fires have been shifting, causing them to spread to places where many residents and first responders have been caught off guard and any hesitation on the part of evacuees is proving to be lethal.  It is very dangerous out there as trees are engulfed with flames, while clouds of hot ash fall down.  Many of the dead have been so badly burned, that their bodies were reduced to ash and bones.  Authorities will need to use dental records, fingerprints, tattoos and serial numbers on hip implants to identity many of these victims.  The fires were so hot that car wheels made of aluminum, which has a melting point of 1,221 degrees Fahrenheit have turned into puddles.

The fires have whipped through the arid wine country north of San Francisco, and at least 15 fires in nine counties are not predicted to succumb to the firefighters’ efforts any time soon, as they are expected to continue burning for the next few days.  Entire neighborhoods, a hotel, big-box stores, and a trailer park have all burned down, and two hospitals have been forced to evacuate their patients.  Jerry Brown California’s Governor initially declared a state of emergency in Napa, Sonoma, Yuba, and later on he4 added Butte, Lake, Mendocino, Nevada, and Orange counties.

Colder Than a Well Digger’s Ass

This phrase is a crude reference used to describe an ambient temperature.  Every well digger knows his ass from his elbow and his ass from a hole in the ground, because their job requires them to use a shovel and a bucket to dig down deep into the earth to create a well.  Why is a well digger’s ass so cold?  Could a well digger’s ass be getting cold because they forgot to cover up their ass?  Is a well digger’s ass any colder than a witch’s tit?  Is a well digger’s ass cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey?  Is it any colder than the handle on an outhouse door?

This phrase is a colloquialism, because it is a saying that expresses something other than the literal meaning of the words.  This is also a simile because it makes a comparison between two things, such as in the saying, ‘as sure as a pig’s ass is pork, until he sits down and then it becomes pressed ham.’  This phrase is also a humorous idiom, because it is an expression where the meaning is not immediately apparent from a literal interpretation of the words.  This would be similar to the phrase ‘useless as tits on a nun’, because they serve no sexual purpose, or ‘happy as a pig in shit’, because pigs seem to be extremely happy and obviously satisfied and carefree when they are in their own environment.

The phrase, ‘cold as a well digger’s ass’, has become cliché because it has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritating, especially when at some earlier time, it was considered to be meaningful or novel.  Some clichés are stereotypes, and they are often are employed for comic effect.  A cliché is often a vivid depiction of an abstraction that relies upon analogy or exaggeration for effect, often drawn from everyday experience.  Most phrases that are now considered to be clichés were originally regarded as striking, but they have been destroyed by time and they lost their significance, because they have been overused, so they should only be used sparingly.  Being cold as a well digger’s ass may no longer be all that it was once cracked up to be and it now holds about as much meaning as being as busy as a one-armed wallpaper-hanger.

This expression may have originated from the French saying, ‘Il fait un froid de canard’, which literally means ‘It’s a duck-like cold’, but when simplified it just means ‘It’s freezing.’  It is thought to come from hunting in winter time, because the hunter has to stand very still and remain motionless to let the duck come within range, and quite often this duck hunter would get chills from the cold weather.  As far as the brass monkey saying goes, this stems from an old naval expression, where cast iron cannon balls were stacked in pyramids on shallow brass trays that were called monkeys.  When the temperature got really cold, the thermal expansion between the cast iron and the brass caused the balls to roll off.

Wells are extremely important to all societies.  In many places wells provide a reliable and ample supply of water for home uses, irrigation, and industries.  Where surface water is scarce, such as in deserts, people can’t survive and thrive without groundwater.  Well digging advanced once man invented pottery and/or animal skin bag technology that was needed to lift or carry water.  With this development, individuals could enter a well and hand or carry containers of soil or water up to the surface, allowing deeper wells to be dug.  Eventually, ropes were tied to containers to lift dirt or water from greater depths, enabling even deeper wells to be dug.  In order to be in the hole and keep digging with a shovel, the digger’s ass would need to be pressed against the opposite wall of the cold, wet earthen hole.  Digging a well for water would leave the digger wet, and cold, especially if the source of the water is a cold spring.

Joseph Fourier studied the diurnal and annual variations of temperature underground and terrestrial temperatures.  He realized that the surface temperatures on Earth changed drastically, but temperatures of the ground below the Earth remained more constant.  Fourier wrote, “No diurnal variation can be detected at the depth of about three meters [ten feet]; and the annual variations cease to be appreciable at a depth much less than sixty meters.”  At a certain depth below the surface of the Earth, the temperature at a given place experiences no annual variation and this permanent underground temperature becomes less and less according as the location of this place is more and more distant from the equator.

Once you dig deeper than about 10 feet, the ground temperature is a fairly constant at 53 degrees Fahrenheit.  If a well digger’s ass is subject to the ambient temperature of 53 degrees, that would feel chilly, but it isn’t all that cold.  An Olympic ice skater or a bobsledder might have a much colder ass than a well digger.  If the temperature of a well digger’s backside was to be taken rectally, than it would most likely read the same as yours and mine.

Written for Linda Hill’s October 14, 2017 Stream of Consciousness Saturday, where the prompt is well.

Cloaking

Now you see it, now you don’t.  It is said that there are only two real magic tricks, those being making things vanish, and making things appear.  Objects are visible to the human eye because they distort light waves according to their shape.  We see the objects by registering these distortions when the light from the objects hits our eyes.  In a similar way an object can also be visible to a radar, which transmits radio waves or microwaves that bounce off objects in their path.  Light can bend around corners, actually light always bends around corners to some extent.  This is a basic property of light and all other waves.  The amount of light that bends around a corner depends on the exact situation.  For visible light on the human scale, the amount of light that bends around corners is often too small to notice unless you know how to look for it.  The ability of light to bend around corners is also known as diffraction.  Controlling and bending light around an object so it appears invisible to the naked eye is the theory behind fictional invisibility cloaks.  No material in nature has the properties necessary to bend light in such a way. However, scientists have managed to create artificial nanostructures that can do the job, and these are called metamaterials.

Recently optical and nanotech experts have been able to create a large swath of multilayer 3-D metamaterial operating in the visible spectral range.  They accomplished this feat by using nanotransfer printing, which can potentially be engineered to modify surrounding refractive index needed for controlling propagation of light.  The nanotransfer printing technique creates metal/dielectric composite films, which are stacked together in a 3-D architecture with nanoscale patterns for operation in the visible spectral range.  Control of electromagnetic resonances over the 3-D space by structural manipulation allows precise control over propagation of light.  Once this technique is mastered, larger pieces of this special material can be created, and researchers at the University of Central Florida have already managed to create a large-scale invisibility cloak that masks the spectrum of visible light.

This is significant, as invisibility cloaking has previously only been possible for very specific wavelengths of radiation (say, microwaves).  Visible light, which covers a broad swath of terahertz-level frequencies, has so far proven very hard to mask.  Researchers at UCF, have created a cloak that actually bends and masks visible light using a fishnet-type of metamaterial.  The metamaterial fishnet is composed of metal and dielectric composite films, created using a nanotransfer printing method.  The films are layered in such a way as to create a fishnet-like pattern, which in turn allows the control of visible-spectrum light.

The cloak hides objects by wrapping them in layer of gold nanoantennas, only 80 nanometers thick.  The antennas in the cloak manipulate the light as it hits the object in a way that makes it look like it’s bouncing off a flat surface instead thus making it impossible to see the geometry of the object.  The downside of this new cloaked technology is that it only works for light at 730-nanometer wavelength, which is visible light near the infrared part of the spectrum.  While this could be useful to hide things from for specific devices, such as radar, it would have to be improved to scatter lights from all wavelengths on the visible spectrum to be able to hide from the human eye.  We are still some miles away from doing this, but we are getting closer.

Original Wallace Monument #writephoto

This impressive monument in Stirling Scotland overlooks the scene of patriot, and martyr Sir William Wallace’s most important victory in the Battle of Stirling Bridge.  It was closed down when the new monument was built in 1869.  England used tyranny and terror to rule Scotland, but eventually the two countries faced each other at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in 1297, where Scotland was led by William Wallace and his victory made him a national hero.  Wallace desired peace and freedom which united the country’s clans, gained the loyalty of its people, struck fear into his enemies and defied the cruel hand of an evil, warring and invading King Edward I of England.  Stirling was the main entry point to the north of Scotland, so it was here, just north of Stirling Bridge, on the Abbey Craig that Wallace encamped with his army.  Mel Gibson directed and starred as Wallace in the 1995 American epic war film Braveheart, one of my favorite movies.

Written for Sue Vincent’s October 12, 2017 Thursday photo prompt – Tower