Swinging In The Breeze

Some men just can’t keep it in their pants and they love to take it out and brandish their most prized possession any time they are given the opportunity to do so, putting their pride and joy on display, thinking this will stimulate another.  Size maters, but most women are looking for an average guy, one that is not too big, not too small, one which would work out nice because it would be manageable.  I guess that most women will weigh their options before they select a mate, but I don’t have any actual facts to make a substantiation of this claim.  I think that most women are seeking a commitment, someone that is in it for the long run, so they need to have a few lovers in order to tell what they actually like.  Love is not supposed to a surprise party where you are served mediocre manicotti.

A man must try to leave a lasting impression on the woman that he dreams about being with, so he needs to be versatile, because women are looking for both charisma and sincerity and not having both of these attributes would ruin the moment. I have always wondered if women find it irresistible or unattractive when a guy gets inked or a pierced.  I am not particularly fond of needles but I did hear about this tattoo butter from my Aunt Helen, which will moisturize your skin, so you won’t feel too much pain if you decide to get one.  Finding that special person who you can share the simple joys of life and being truly honest with is not an easy task and you may crash and burn a few times before you figure it all out and find the right person.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Substantiation, for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Moment, for the Daily Spur prompt – Burn, for FOWC with Fandango – Tattoo, for August Monthly Writing Prompts – Mediocre manicotti, for Ragtag Community – Charisma, for Sara’s Closet Full Of Notebooks Prompt – Surprise party, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Aunt Sincerity Butter, for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompts of the Photo Challenge – Size matters and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Options.

Come See My Etchings

Back in the 60s, this was the line I used to seduce innocent young girls to get them into my room, so they would feel that it was proper to be alone with me.  After a night of shared passion, one girl actually asked me where my etchings were, which puzzled me as every other girl knew exactly what my intentions were.  I was in trouble, as I had no scintilla of artistic talent, so I showed her a picture of a flowerbed that my 8 year old niece drew.  She said that it was nothing more than masterful scribblings, and she did not consider it to be art.  I came clean with her and told her that I was a busboy and not an artist and that I only lied to show her that I had a sense of humor.

She told me that she was a lawyer and that she could sue me for false pretenses, because I misrepresented myself.  I told her that I had never gotten any complaints before from any of the other women who I lured up to my room to have sex with and I told her that it looked like she needed to unwind and said that I could rub her back for her.  She said that she wasn’t having any of that and she wasn’t about to be duped again.  I inquired about the trip or flight that she mentioned that she was taking and said that I could give her a pre-travel massage to help to loosen up and relax her muscles, as well as increase her circulation.  She reluctantly agreed and when I started taking my clothes off she told me that I should go on a diet.  I asked her if she wanted me to massage her breasts and she said fine, but don’t forget my beaver.  I told her no problem and said that I was happy that the beaver population was coming back in Maryland.

Written for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Trouble, for the Daily Spur prompt – Trip, for FOWC with Fandango – Diet, for August Monthly Writing Prompts – Masterful scribblings, for Ragtag Community – Scintilla, for Sara’s Closet Full Of Notebooks Prompt – Sense of Humor, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Busboy Flowerbed Maryland, for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompts – Unwind and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Flight.

Meet The New Boss

I drove to Fresno on my vacation, as I always wanted to see those Underground Gardens that were created by Baldassare Forestiere which consist of Roman-catacombs-inspired subterranean passages and courtyards.  I took this trip in order to enhance my wellbeing, as things at work got real hard for me to handle.  My work was never given the attention that it deserved, as I was always being kept in the shadow of my boss who would steal all of my good ideas.  He was a backstabbing glory hog who always presented my ideas, claiming that they were his to make up for his own shortcomings.  I purposely made mistakes on my last report, deciding this was the time to pick my battle.  As expected, he took all the credit and that lead to his destruction and now I am the boss and hopefully this will be for keeps.

The promotion came with a one month vacation which was fortuitous, but now I would be required to play golf, so I could mingle with the clients.  My game was OK, but I never had enough time for this sport and I needed to work on my loft, because I had a tendency to hit a lot of balls along the ground and that would cause me a lot of trouble at the course where my company membership was.  I decided to check out some of the parks in Fresno and I went to Woodward Regional Park which has a bird sanctuary and a Japanese garden.

Next on my list was an hour and a half drive to Yosemite National Park where I wanted to check out the waterfalls. California’s Sierra Nevada mountains are so serene with the giant, ancient sequoia trees and the granite cliffs of El Capitan and Half Dome.  I was lucky enough to get to see the spotted bat, with its huge ears and vivid white spots, which I knew was a resident of the park.  I went to the Ansel Adams Gallery and I picked up one of his nude pictures to decorate my new office.  I checked out the shops and I bought a cotton tee-shirt which looks great on me and then I went to a restaurant and had squid for lunch.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Destruction, for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Bat, for the Daily Spur prompt – Handle, for FOWC with Fandango – Shadow, for August Monthly Writing Prompts – For keeps, for Nova’s Daily Random Word prompt – Loft, for Ragtag Community – Fortuitous, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Squid Cotton Fresno, for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompts – Parks and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Wellbeing.

The Drafter

After I received my Associates degree in Electrical Engineering Technology, I got a job as a drafter.  I did not learn anything about drafting in college, so I was not very useful to the company that hired me.  They only paid me $8 per hour, so I guess they were getting their money’s worth from me being a go-for and doing whatever I was told.  They set up a drafting class for all of their newly hired employees and I was selected to attend this class.  Back in the 1980s everyone was still using blueprints as engineering documentation.  This is before the technology of digital images was available that allowed drawings to sent to plotters that are similar to large laser jet printers.  Before the advent of CAD Computer Aided Design, all Engineering drawings were created on vellum paper, which was a thin parchment that was translucent and from this blueprints were made.

Manual drafting takes time and a lot of it is repetitive, so there were two methods available that allowed copying images to cut down on the time.  One method was to make a Mylar print and the other was to make a sepia print, which could both be reproduced and allow changes to be made on them, while the original remained intact.  Sepia prints normally formed dark brown lines, a brownish pigment the same color that is derived from the ink sac of the common cuttlefish Sepia, on to a translucent background.  Having the ability to create a secondary original and make alterations on this drawing saved a lot of time for drafters.  The ammonia based blueprint machines were eventually phased out when CAD came along and I was happy when I did not have to smell that anymore.

Written for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompts of the Photo Challenge Sepia.

Are We There Yet

A doubting Thomas is a skeptic who refuses to believe without direct personal experience.  This expression is derived from the apostle Thomas who refused to believe that Jesus was resurrected from the dead and had appeared to the other ten apostles, until he could see and feel the wounds received by Jesus on the cross.  Today our world is filled with propaganda, urban legends, scammers, disinformation, alternative facts that is known as “fake news”, so just because you can see and read something on the internet, that doesn’t mean that it can be trusted.  I feel that there is a line of demarcation between those people who question everything (the constant questioners) and those who are skeptical (people who are not easily convinced, those who have doubts or reservations) and this line lies in their intent.  The skeptic will take everything with a grain of salt, evaluating things while keeping in mind that it may not be completely true or accurate, typically due to the unreliability of the source, however their heart is set on rejection and disproving.  The constant questioner has a desire to learn and by asking questions, so they can make better judgments.  This type of person also enjoys engaging in conversation.

Humans are innately curious creatures and we look for reasons and causes that allow us to find answers for things that we see.  We question stuff all the time, so we can conclude what makes sense to us.  We are motivated by reason, logic, and fairness.  We make decisions for a proper course of action after we come to our own conclusions.  The more intellectually engaged humans will often do exhaustive research to obtain answers.  The constant questioner may be percieved as being overly curious to the point where they become a pest.

It is human nature to classify things into groups, because we use our brains to absorb information and we understand that information by grouping it.  Certain things fit nicely into groups and that is why we have nouns and verbs and apples and oranges, but people don’t always fit as they can reside on the line of demarcation that distinguishes them from being classified as a skeptic or a constant questioner, or they can waver to either side of this line depending on what day it is.

When I was in High School, before the days of the internet, I asked my Earth Space Science teacher, “How much does the Earth weigh?” With Google this search takes less than a second and it says 5.972 × 10^24 kg, or about 13,170,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds.  Our Earth is much too big to be placed on a scale, so scientists use mathematics and the laws of gravity to figure out the Earth’s weight.  A much better question for me to ask would have been, “What is the mass of planet Earth?”, so my teacher explained the difference between mass and weight to me, with weight being the result of Earth’s gravitational pull on another object, and since the Earth cannot pull on itself, knowing Earth’s mass instead of weight is more appropriate.  I have always been curious and I just discovered that Earth is gaining weight!  At the present rate, Earth gains about 40,000 metric tons each year from space debris that bombards our planet, yet there is no reason for the Earth to go on a diet.

I believe that the constant questioner is different from the person who constantly asks questions like ‘are we there yet’, as it shows ignorance to keep asking the same question.  As Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

Written for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompts where they have invited everyone to tell them if we are a constant questioner whose need for the facts goes beyond reason or do we know someone whose unreasonable interrogations tend to raise our blood pressure levels.

Bodysurfing

Bodysurfing can be very dangerous, but it is free and a great way to have fun while you learn the mechanics of catching waves.  In no time, anyone can learn this sport and soon be paddling for the perfect wave that sends them rocketing back to shore.  Surfing is about gaining the ability to stay afloat on the waves and this comes down to basic physics.  Newton’s laws of motion, describe the movement of matter, and understanding how they work will help you to stay afloat.  Newton’s first law states that objects in motion, tend to stay in motion, while objects at rest, tend to stay at rest, so the waves will stay in motion and your body will be carried along with them, until they reach the shore and then they will rest.  You will have to paddle to catch a wave, but once you catch it you can use the momentum of the wave to carry you along with it, thus the concepts and laws of classical physics is basically in an explicate order.

I long to become one with the ocean and my unrequited love for the waves makes me feel like I belong there.  When I first get to the beach, I usually start playing tag with the incoming waves, trying not to let the water touch anything but my feet, as I run away from the incoming waves.  I don’t want to swim and risk hypothermia if the water has just had an arctic dusting, so getting my feet wet is the first thing that I do.  Catching a wave puts you in a zone where you become blind to almost everything else that is going on around you.  The biggest drawback to bodysurfing is having to worry about losing your bottoms while you are at the mercy of the ocean.  Waves can be very powerful and they have a way of knocking you over and you may struggled to keep your balance, but the most dreaded experience is the moment when you realize that the ocean waves have knocked your swimsuit off.  I try to stay resolute about hanging on to my suit, as this is the best way of cutting down on idle chatter when I finally emerge from the waves.  The last thing that I want to be part of is a naked beach extravaganza.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Explicate, for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Tag, for the Daily Spur prompt – Blind, for FOWC with Fandango – Resolute, for July Monthly Writing Prompts – An arctic dusting, for Ragtag Community – Extravaganza, for GC and Susan’s Weekly Word Prompt – Idle Chatter and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Unrequited.

Better Grab Your Shades

Marty Stuart wrote the song ‘The Observations Of A Crow’, which was released on his 1999 album The Pilgrim.  The song tells the story of a man being in a town seen from the point of view of a crow who is observing everything in the town.  Stuart was riding through the West on a bus traveling down Route 66 that pulled off the interstate to get fuel.  The place they stopped in looked like a ghost town, with just a few locals around, and he looked up and saw a crow sitting on the electrical line.  He was fascinated and he couldn’t take his eyes off the crow.  People came and went from the bus, but that crow never left, he just kept hanging out.  The Pilgrim, is a concept album that tells the story of a man, brokenhearted and suicidal, who sets off on a journey.

John Marty Stuart is a multiple Grammy Award-winning, American country music singer-songwriter, known for both his traditional style, and eclectic merging of rockabilly, honky-tonk, and traditional country music.  Stuart dropped out of school to play mandolin with Lester Flatt and his band The Nashville Grass.  In 1971, the 13-year-old musician spent years on the road, performing at bluegrass festivals and concerts.  During his time with Flatt, Stuart met a diverse group of musical greats, including Bill Monroe, Earl Scruggs, Chick Corea, the Eagles, Emily Lou Harris and Bob Dylan.  Marty Stuart played in Johnny Cash’s back-up band in 1979.  He soon enjoyed solo success as well as hits performing with other country musicians, including Travis Tritt and Willie Nelson.

The crow in this song sees everything that is going on in this small town because of his bird eyed view perched on the telephone wire, but what is great about this song is that this crow understands all that he sees.  Most people are oblivious to the newspaper boy, even if he happens to break a window or two, but nothing gets past the keen eyes of this feathered observer, as the bird even seems to see God’s light.  The crow knows all about Louie the flea being married to a waitress named Lora Lee and it seems to enjoy watching them when they get frisky.  He is also aware of the guy who is in witness protection, who snitched on his friend to stay out of jail.  The crow is said to be a scoopologist, which most likely refers to his reporting the town news and has nothing to do with scooping ice cream.  He is mad about that parakeet who came along and took his girl.

Newspaper boy makin’ his rounds
Spreadin’ the word all over town
Drivin’ his car just as fast as it will go

There’s papers in the driveway, papers in the yard
Paper broke a window, he didn’t throw it that hard
But it shattered like a dream down in the valley below

Hey, quarter moon, well how was your night?
Yeah well, any minute now God’s gonna hit them brights
So if you stick around, don’t you say that you weren’t told

Well, take it from me, you better grab your shades
If He looks at you, ooh, well try not to look so afraid
Just do the best that you can, but don’t you think that He won’t know

Creosote’s drippin’ from the high line poles
Fast as you can count ‘em, 12 in a row
Blessed accommodations for the daily observations of a crow

Well, that cat down there, yeah, well he’s Louie the flea
He’s married to a waitress by the name of Lora Lee
When they scream and they holler, man they put on a show

He’s a protected witness from a Detroit job
Turned his best friend in, his name is Bob
I know who got the time, but who do you think got the dough?

Take a look at that pilgrim passin’ by
He’s lookin’ for love, I can see it in his eyes
He’s runnin’ ‘round in circles, you can take it from me

His shadow begs for mercy that every lost and found
In city after city, town after town
Tortured by the memory of a love he thought was supposed to be

Creosote’s drippin’ from the high line poles
Fast as you can count ‘em, 12 in a row
Blessed accommodations for the daily observations of a crow

Well, I’m a genuine scoopologist, the name is Crow
Sitting up here, watching the show
In this one horse drive-through, forsaken, dried up piece of the world

Well, it ain’t much but it’s my kingdom, it’s my home
Even had a queen till that parakeet came along
Fast talking, loud squawking, green feathered scrak took my girl, later

Written for GC and Sue W Weekly Prompts where the word prompt is observation.