We Just Met

Online dating has sped up the way people date and it allows us to shed our antiquated old-fashioned attitudes, but there are a lot of things that still need to be discussed, before you actually start dating.  We met on a dating site flirting back and forth with each other and we ended up sharing cell phone numbers and email addresses, which made things more intimate, especially since I didn’t want the dating site to read all of our conversations.  I told her that I am a patient man and my expectations about when to make a move would depend on how she responds to me.  I let her know that I would be willing to wait until she was ready, but I wanted her to know that I had romantic intentions for her.  I said that I would be a bit nervous about being with a new partner and I would worry about my performance.  I made it clear that I am turned on by her, and I hoped that my performance in bed (if we ever reached that point), would meet her expectations.  I said that I wanted to jump her bones, but I didn’t want her to lose respect for me.  I made her aware that there was no need for us to rush into anything as I knew that over time, we would be able to figure out our true feeling for each other.  I understood that every generation approaches the subject of sex in a different way, and I told her that I am looking for a relationship, not a fling and that it would probably take us a few dates before we figure out what works best for us.

She seemed to be OK with all of this and we had our first date in a nice restaurant for lunch.  I ordered a sandwich and she had a salad and we talked some more.  She said that sex can be a relationship starter or a finisher, and depending on how it goes with us, but she felt that by doing it, we should be able to figure out if we are a good match for each other.  She also thought that this would be a great way for us to bond, but she did want to go slow and that she would let me know when she felt that enough time has passed for this to be an acceptable and informed choice for her to make.  She said that she did want to invest in a relationship, as soon as she reached a certain comfort level.  She brought up that old saying about men and how they won’t want to buy the cow, when they can get the milk for free.

I told her that marriage was a possibility, but it wasn’t going to happen in the near future.  I told her that my main interest was in finding a woman that I could share things with, but that we would never know if we have the right chemistry for a lasting relationship, unless we became romantic with each other.  I let her know that being with someone in a romantic way would also alleviate a lot of the pressure and that if we discovered that we are both are attracted to each other, then there should be no need to postpone having fun and enjoying pleasure.  I let her know that I had no idea what the cards held for us, but that I would never want her to so something that she would regret later.  I told her to let me know when it feels right for her, and that as long as she is being open and truthful about what she is looking for, then we will go for it.

After our lunch date, it seemed like everything was going really well and she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place for a drink.  I told her that sounded lovely and when we got to her place, she told me that I should relax and sit on her couch.  She handed me a glass of iced tea and asked if I wanted to watch TV or listen to some music and I chose music, but I told her not to play it too loud, as I wanted to be able to talk with her.  We were listening to some nice tunes and I noticed three decks of cards on her table and I asked you if she liked to play cards and she told me that she did play with some of her friends at times.  I was trying to be funny and I asked her if you ever played strip poker and she told me that she had worked in Las Vegas as a Black Jack dealer and that if we were to play, that she would surely beat the pants off of me.  I said, “Isn’t that the whole point of the game?” and we both started laughing.

She told me that she was just teasing about being a Black Jack dealer in Las Vegas and we laughed again over that.  I told her that I remembered her profile listed her as being a Cancer and said that I don’t usually pay that much attention to zodiac signs, but I figured that she had a birthday coming up and I told her that I wanted to take you out to a nice restaurant for her birthday.  She said that her birthday was just two weeks away, but she didn’t have anything nice to wear.  I told her that I thought she looked very nice in that green dress that she has on her profile pictures, but she said that it was getting old and she wanted something new.  I told her that maybe we could forget the dinner and that I would take her shopping to get her something nice for her birthday present.

She agreed and we went to the mall together.  She found a lovely outfit and I paid for it and then I asked her if she needed some new underwear to go with it and I let her know that I would be happy to buy her some sexy lingerie if she would model it for me when we got back to her place.  She smiled at me and called me a naughty boy, telling me that I was trying to get her naked by playing cards with her and now I was asking her for a private fashion show and she called me a dirty old man.  She said that she could use a new bra and some matching panties, however she didn’t know me well enough yet to be putting on a fashion show for me.  I was a little bit disappointed, but I understood, because this was our first date.  Then I proposed that I buy her three new bras with matching panties and she said, “If you throw in a negligee so I don’t get cold, you have a deal and we can let the show begin”.  I got my fashion show and sometimes it is good to be bold.

Written for Di’s Three Things Challenge where the three prompt words are “Old, Cold and Bold”.

Humans Are Animals Too

Since engaging in sex doesn’t always lead to babies, and there’s a long lead time between the act and the eventual consequences, it makes you wonder when and how early humans figured out that sex is what causes babies.  The first clue came from observing animals reproducing and generally noting that women who did not sleep with men, did not get pregnant.  Mating is part of our evolutionary process and it is what we have been programmed to do for 4 billion years.  Up until the advent of agriculture, humans lived in small bands of hunter-gatherers and one of the first things that early humans figured out was how to have sex.  Instincts didn’t need to be taught, as most of the mechanics came naturally, maneuvering two bodies into a position where the external male penetrating organ became close enough with the internal female reception opening to allow for fluid exchange.  Since our bodies have the same parts today as they did a long time ago, sex hasn’t changed all that much over the years.

Life was tough for early humans, and every member of the group would contribute to its survival, but sex was not a steamy romance in the beginning, it was done because it was fun for both genders, and there was no concept of gender inequality.  Prehistoric humans lived in a shame free zone and nobody went around saying, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”, as they all knew what each other had.  Women evolved for having sex with multiple partners, and this can be seen in their ability to have multiple orgasms in a sexual session, which resulted in encouraging more men to come and join in, and this also ensured that breeding was successful.  If there were more men in the tribe than women, the cave woman would have multiple sexual partners.  Some of the men had to wait for their turn sitting quietly in the corner and watching while another caveman had sex with a woman.  Watching others have intercourse and learning what felt good, is how we figured out sex, and this is the same way every other species does.  After humans reached puberty, their hormone levels increased, and they felt the urge to mate.  Many psychologists feel that people have difficulty with monogamy because this concept was not with us from the beginning and this lifestyle goes against our evolutionary imprint of polygamy.

In the Neolithic Period which occurred sometime before 9500 BCE, primitive agriculture first appeared and the imagery of birds and bees pollinating from one plant to the other came shortly after, as humans saw how they fit into the world.  Everything changed as early cave man society evolved and it didn’t take long before jealously entered the picture.  At first women became distressed by threats from physically attractive rivals, whereas the men were distressed because their rivals had more resources.  Men paired with physically attractive women and they exhibited their jealous tendencies in their efforts to guard their mate, whereas women paired with the man they thought would be able to provide more resources for them and they felt the need to guard their man from being taken away by another woman.  The original society of human offspring existed without fathers, but after humans became an agrarian society, they realized the concept of paternity.  When men finally learned that they were involved in the process of making babies, they wanted to claim them as their own and this instigated jealously.  Once committed relationships were established, it was expected that each partner would abide by the rules, but temptation is lurking around every corner for some people who retain the urge to sleep around.

Over time, humans evolved from engaging in copulation with whatever human might be handy to forming couples, pairing off with other individuals, as natural selection favored that we care for one another to survive.  They started mating and engaging in sex not just because it felt good, but because it felt more special, sharing their feelings together.  No one can say for sure, why so many humans gave up polygamy and made the cultural move to monogamy, by making a lifelong commitment to fidelity by having only one sexual partner.  A significant shift from polygyny toward monogamy began about five thousand to ten thousand years ago and although polyandry is exceedingly rare (females who seek out multiple partners), females who are officially tied to one partner may have others in secret.  Sex is an important part of life, and although the enterprise of marriage may not be the greatest aphrodisiac, a shocking study revealed that married people are having more sex than single people of the same age.

Written for Ragtag Community – Fluid, and for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Enterprise, Picture, Made.

Turbulent Tranquility

This floating in air routine that I do, helps me to reach an untroubled state that is free from other disturbances.  Up here in my attic, there is a place where the laws of natural gravity seem to be repealed and gravitational anomalies allow me to soar above the floor for a few seconds, before bringing me back down with tranquil streams of air.  This is my special place where I can take a few deep breaths and then focus on the problems in this turbulent world.  I know that am I perfect, someone who always thought to be just out of reach, out of their league for many, and only attainable by a few, but eventually I will be somebody’s soulmate and they should stop at nothing to have me in their life, as I am not a unicorn.

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #103, for FOWC with Fandango – Unicorn, for February Monthly prompts – Turbulent tranquility and for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Many Other Few.

What’s Happening

Bernie Sanders is showing up everywhere sitting in a foldable chair wearing his mask and mittens, and the meme makers can’t seem to get enough of him.  Was Bernie actually the fifth Beatle, and was he with the Grateful Dead in 1970 when they were sitting on bales of hay.  Bernie Sanders looked a bit grumpy when he turned up on Capitol Hill for the swearing-in ceremony of Joe Biden and now this has gone viral.  Our country is going through a pandemic and there are a slew of very serious issues going on in the world, but ever since someone created a website that lets you place the Bernie Sanders inauguration meme anywhere in the world, this craze has taken on a life of its own, but we should all make time to have some fun.  Eliminating the Capital Hill background from the photo and making Bernie the center of attention wherever he is placed, has become the greatest abstraction of 2021.  It doesn’t make all that much sense to me, but it is much better than all the unrest that has been in the air lately.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Abstraction and for Di’s Three Things Challenge #490 prompt words – Sense Unrest Air.

The Sure Thing

I woke up in 2021 caught in an intimate relationship and I guess that I just got used to having her around.  When we met, she told me that there was no need to romance her, as she was a sure thing.  I became distracted by her beauty which was mesmerizing, but romance was one aspect that I certainly wanted to have in a relationship.  I wanted more and I turned into a basket case because I started ignoring the ignorance of this situation.  I wanted to kiss her and she insisted that wasn’t necessary, so we argued constantly till I got tired.  She looked just like Elizabeth Taylor and I asked her if we could go up on the tin roof with a blanket where we could be like street cats making love.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Distracted, for the Daily Spur prompt – Aspect, for FOWC with Fandango – Intimate, for Linda G. Hill’s ‘Life in progress’ JusJoJan January prompt – Caught, for January Writing Prompts – Ignoring the ignorance, for Ragtag Community – Blanket, for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #167 – I woke up in 2021, for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver hosted by Michael prompt – A basket case, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Tired Tin More and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Mesmerizing.

I’ve Seen Covid and I Smelled Death

I woke up this morning and I wrote this post after listening to James Taylor sing his song ‘Fire and Rain’, so there may be a little of his song buried in my words.  2019 was moving along just fine and in some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday morning, but now 2020 is almost gone.  I have seen anguish and pain in the face of George Floyd saying, “I can’t breathe.”  I learned about QAnon absurdities and I heard a lot of Rudy Giuliani nonsense.  Donald Trump has made over 5,700 Tweets this year and he still thinks that he won the election and many of his supporters continue to send him money.

Florida’s Governor DeSantis directed that COVID-19 vaccines initial phase will be a priority for long-term care facility residents and staff, persons 65 years and older, and health care personnel with direct patient contact.  This was one of my wishes and it means that I can get a vaccine, but since they are no longer taking any appointments, Ima tell ya that I will not be standing in line and waiting till they serve me, which I am not about to do.  I refuse to become a little silhouetto of a man, as I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain and it sounds like this line that would never end, making me a featureless silhouette of a person for spending my whole day standing in it.  They are advising anybody who wants to wait to bring food, water and something to do and this signals me that the vaccines are being mishandled.

I just signed up to take over a community Newsletter, not because I am lonely or I think that I need a friend, it is just that I enjoy writing and I think that I am good at it.  I hope that I didn’t bite off more than I ca chew and this ends up becoming a punch in the gut for me.  I will be responsible for reporting items of special interest, letting people know what is going on around town, what is happing in the association and in the specific section where I live, providing helpful hints and bringing good tidings to those who will receive the newsletter.

My mouse was acting up today, so I cleaned the optical sensor on the bottom and now it is back to normal, which made me happy that it recognized where I was telling it to go.  I am not sure how often I should be cleaning it, but for now it will see me through another day.  I have been walking my mind to an easy time with my back turned towards the sun to ridicule, expose and criticize people’s stupidity in this satire that I call life.

My eye doctor follow-up appointment is set for 3 PM today and I will find out how the latest laser surgery went on my right eye to correct the Posterior Capsule Opacification which manifested after my cataract procedure was done earlier this year.  I hope that this puts an end to all of my vision problems and then I will have more time on my hands to keep writing.  My body’s aching and my time is at hand, but my hope is that we don’t see Trump again in 2024, unless it is at Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World.  I will cook up some leftovers for dinner tonight and I still have some grocery shopping to do, so later tater.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Tidings, for the Daily Spur prompt – Punch, for FOWC with Fandango – Silhouette, for December Monthly Writing Prompts – Ima tell ya, for Ragtag Community – Satire, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Cook Hall Recognized and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Wishes.

Sine Qua Non

“Without which not”, missing an indispensable element, that should be an absolute prerequisite, something deemed essential, without which we cannot bear living, making life in general loose some specific value and turn into an abstract mess of desperationWhen I joined WordPress, I was happy to see a group of dedicated writers here, but there are also many people here that don’t write very well.  Maybe they had poor teaching, or perhaps English is a new language for them.  I take great pride in my writing and maybe some people think that I am some kind of a pompous jerk for feeling that way, but coherence is an essential quality for readability.  My paragraphs and sentences need to be clearly linked to each other, so that my logic will flow from point to point.

When I complete a post that is written properly, I’m happy to share it with others, because I feel that I have created or produced something worthwhile and that is an accomplishment for me and then I can say the words, “I am a writer”, and this allows me to continue to write.  I write every day as I am compelled to write and I try to be versatile tackling many topics and I admit that some of the stuff that I write may not be all that ingenious.  I prepare each post; I try to abide by the rules and I hope to avoid trouble that way.  I don’t get paid for any of my posts and soon after they are finished, they are easily forgotten.  I see so many bloggers here that write about nothing, yet they have many more followers and they get a lot more views and likes than I receive.  I know that I am putting much more effort into my writing than they are into their rapid posts and maybe my posts are unpopular because of my quirky opinions, or my rapscallion attitude.  I think of myself as being last but not least. where I don’t have a lot of fans, but I think that my writing is important and my writing is not dependent on how many readers show up to view my posts.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Rapid, for the Daily Spur prompt – Dependent, for FOWC with Fandango – Ingenious, for December Monthly Writing Prompts – Last but not least, for Ragtag Community – Rapscallion, for Di’s Three Things Challenge #442 prompt words – Prepare, Trouble and Rules and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Desperation.

Records on the Wall

Joe Walsh placed his gold records on the wall in an office that he never went to.  He owned a mansion and a Maserati, but the reason that he couldn’t drive it was because he lost his wallet and that is where he kept his driver’s license.  Walsh was in the James Gang and the record ‘Stop’ from their first album Yer’ Album caught the attention of Pete Townshend from the FM air play that it received, so he took them under his wing inviting Joe and the James Gang to join the Who on tour.  Joe met Keith Moon and Keith decided that he liked Joe, so they began to hang together and trash hotel rooms.  Joe felt that Keith had made up his mind that he was going to take everything as far as it would go and he actually wielded a chain saw to tear down the walls.

Joe hit rock bottom and his life was hanging by a thread, as he turned into a full-blown alcoholic and cocaine-crazy person.  He burned all the bridges and nobody wanted to work with him and he was happy when he finally hit bottom, because he realized that he is not immortal.  He was able to change his lifestyle before he OD’d and died.  It is not easy living your life in the fast lane and Joe had major bouts with alcohol and drugs, but he’s been sober for over twenty-five years now.

Written for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Record Hang Thread.

High‐Tech Terrorist

Untouched books crowded his shelves, shiny leather spines and faded first editions, meticulously dusted and never read.  The books were just illusions to impress others, and they made his life bearable, because they impressed his friends.  He had no intention of ever reading any of them, as knowing too much would take away his individualism, and his sense of style.  He was as phony as a three-dollar bill, but what nobody knew was that the book shelves were hiding a secret passage to his panic room.  He was not sorry for all of the lies that he feed to the press and he hoped that Trump would exonerate him one day.

They finally caught up to Julian Assange and his long-time friend Pamela Anderson felt he would not survive an extradition from the U.K. to the U.S.  He breached his bail in June 2012 and took refuge in the Embassy of Ecuador in London.  In January 2018, Julian was granted Ecuadorian citizenship.  Assange was arrested in 2019 after being evicted from the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, where he had sought refuge to avoid being sent to Sweden over allegations of rape and sexual assault.  The 48-year-old Australian has been indicted in the U.S. on 18 charges over the publication of classified documents.  Prosecutors say he conspired with U.S. Army intelligence analyst Chelsea Manning to crack a password, hack into a Pentagon computer and release secret diplomatic cables and military files on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Trump stood on his soap box and threw a conniption saying that he loves Wikileaks and he publicly encouraged Russians to hack Hillary’s emails, but now he changed his mind and he is currently saying, “I know nothing about Wikileaks”.  Assange chose to play around in espionage and the First Amendment doesn’t give anyone a license to jeopardize national security, especially an unsavory character that is using dubious methods.  Julian has set a bad precedent for the future of the internet and he made his bed, so he should have to sleep in it.  Whether he is found guilty or innocent, doesn’t really bother me, but I am interested in what the final decision is about him.  Many people think he is a good guy who got a bad deal, but I disagree as united we fell to the hackers.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Exonerate, for the Daily Spur prompt – Feed, for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday hosted by Dylan, for FOWC with Fandango – Survive, for Jibber Jabber by Sue – Box, for August Monthly Writing Prompts – United we fell, for Ragtag Community – Lies, for Reena’s Exploration Challenge prompt 150 – Illusions, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Play Sorry Final and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Conniption.

What’s Up Doc

Happy Birthday Bugs Bunny, and I want to say that you are looking really great for someone who turned 80 years old today.  I am so happy that I grew up with you and your fellow cartoon characters and that I was able to go on many an escapade together with you.  I never made it all the way down your rabbit hole, but beneath the surface of the night while I was laying in my bed, I did dream about you.  When I was young, I had trouble distinguishing between my R’s and W’s which had nothing to do with the locale that I was from, it was natural for a kid my age that watched Elmer Fudd, and I often said wabbit instead of rabbit.  My speech teacher had me say things like,Bitter bananas” and I had to repeat many things to satisfy her.  Elmer Fudd may have been the worst hunter ever and even though he could never get a break from that wascally wabbit, he would have never made any money at this, despite all of the labor that he put into his hunting.  I just ran out of shows to watch on Netflix and I am thinking about checking out Umbrella Academy.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompts – Locale, for the Daily Spur prompt – Natural, for FOWC with Fandango – Escapade, for Midwest Fantasy Devereaux Frazier and Beth Amanda Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge – Beneath the surface of the night, for Jibber Jabber by Sue – Satisfy, for August Monthly Writing Prompts – Bitter bananas, for Ragtag Community – Umbrella, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Labor Money Break, for GC The Main Aisle and Sue W Nan’s Farm Weekly Prompt – Characters and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Dream.