Things Moved Fast

Her clothing was arranged to display enough skin, but I did not considered it to be blatantly erogenous.  We met in a dance club in Cincinnati which featured a very energetic DJ.  Our eyes met and I asked her to dance with me, and she said yes because she wanted to make her boyfriend jealous.  I told her if that was what she really wanted then she should leave with me and I would take her back to my place.  When we arrived at my apartment, she asked me to undo her zipper and I was more than glad to give her a hand.  She was warm and soft and she smelled amazing, which made me want to howl at the moon.  Her dress dropped to the floor after I undid her zipper and I took a quick inventory and saw that she was just in her heels, stockings, bra and panties.  To me a woman who is still partially clothed is more interesting than a woman who is already naked.  I made my move nudging the straps of her bra from her shoulders and then I kissed her neck.

She told me that she had never been with a guy as old as me before and she thought that I might even be as old as her Dad.  I told her that the way we age is determined by nurture, as John Locke wrote about in his Blank Slate essay.  I said that I used to be a hippie years ago and all I wanted was peace in the world.  Then I told her that it’s only natural to want to look good and feel young and that I eat at least one fig a day to help me do just that.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Jealous, for the Daily Spur prompt – Energetic, for FOWC with Fandango – Inventory, for Ragtag Community – Peace, for Swimmers prompt – Dad, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge – fig Cincinnati zipper and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Nurture.

How Did Inspector Clouseau Get In This Joke

My mother told me this joke about a priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk that all walked into a bar where the bartender is a former KGB agent.  Inspector Clouseau just happened to be sitting there and he noticed a small Capuchin monkey sitting at the other end of the bar, so he asked, “Whose mehnkey is that?”  To which the bartender replied, “Mehnkey, what’s a mehnkey?”  I told my mom that even though I thought her joke was charming, that I was lost in the wilderness as I did not get it, which made her face turn pink.

My mom said that she had a better one about a blonde woman who was driving crazy all over the roads in her little red sports car, because she was using her cell phone.  Eventually she was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.  The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license.  She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated and asked, “What does it look like?”  The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”  The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.  “Here it is,” she said.  The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go.  I didn’t realize that you were a cop.”

I told my mom that being on a cell phone while driving is very dangerous and it is often the factor which causes many accidents and then I asked her if there was any more birch beer left in the refrigerator.  My mom said that she was not sure and it was not her job to keep track of everything that is in there and sometimes the refrigerator is like the Bermuda triangle, because of the way that things mysteriously disappear in there.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Wilderness, for the Daily Spur prompt – Mother, for FOWC with Fandango – Factor, for Ragtag Community – Pink, for Swimmers prompt – Roads, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge – birch, priest, triangle and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Charming.

Raccoon Face

Mercy me, what a surprise I got walking into this cement building.  It put a song in my heart and hope back into my life.  I used to come here when I was in High School and I remember sitting in that very booth when Betty Lou first kissed me.  It was a soft kiss that caught me off guard, as I had gum in my mouth.  I tried to keep the gum in the back of my mouth, but that did not work so well as I almost choked, so I wedged it into the side of my cheek.  My good friend Durango saw me and he made this raccoon face bulging his cheeks out which made me laugh.  Disaster as I spit my gum out on Betty Lou, however the waitress just happened to pass by and she handed her a napkin.  Betty Lou smiled at the waitress, but she said that she would need a washcloth to get the gum off of her blouse.

Betty Lou excused herself to go to the washroom and I told her that I was sorry, but I also said that she should hurry back. Durango came and sat in my booth and it was good to see him as he had just gotten back from a foreign excursion where had been studying the sex lives of mosquitoes abroad in Beliz.  I asked Durango how long he had been back and he went on with this lengthy narrative about all the trials he had been through being eaten alive by mosquitoes.  He said that he slept under a net, but still those pesky buggers continued to stalk him.  He said that he was happy to be back and that his parents had just put in a brand new swimming pool.  He said that I could stop by any time that I wanted to go swimming, but I had to make sure that I closed the gate, as he did not want his dog getting loose.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Narrative, for the Daily Spur prompt – Hurry, for FOWC with Fandango – Abroad, for Ragtag Community – Stalk, for Sunday Photo Fiction hosted by Susan and the Photo Credit goes to Terri Smeigh, for the Sunday Whirl Wordle 404 prompts – Mercy surprise walking cement gate trials song heart soft booth hope back, for Swimmers the New Community Pool prompt – Brand, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge – gum, washcloth, raccoon, and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Foreign.

The Eyes Have It

When a person identifies an object with their eyes, then it can be said that, “The eyes have it”, thus meaning that because the observation was obtained through the virtual use of their eyes, they can see and understand the object that they have observed and the nature and purpose of the object is now clear.  When the eyes have it, it is likely that a multitude of people will understand because it is not esoteric, obscure or abstract.  The eyes are said to be the windows to the soul, and they can convey many things about a person.  That is why we ask people to look us in the eye so we can determine whether or not they are telling us the truth.  Some people are able to spot a quizzical look in another person’s eyes and immediately know what they are thinking.  Someone might give you the evil eye, or the stink eye, or they could have wandering eyes.

Drinking too much wine might cause a person to have glassy eyes.  A lower-back tattoo is also known as a tramp stamp and since women’s lower backs are often viewed by people as an erotic body part, these tattoos can be thought of as having a bulls-eye or a target on you.  Helium is a safe, non-flammable gas that is used to fill party and parade balloons, but medical science is now using helium-neon lasers in eye surgery.  Every person’s iris has a unique pattern of ridges and folds, specific only for them and modern technology employs algorithms and some mathematical calculations to distinguish these patterns and personal attributes for biometric security.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Esoteric, for FOWC with Fandango – Quizzical, for Ragtag Community – Patterns, for Swimmers the New Community Pool prompt – Though and Convey, for Paula’s Three Things Challenge – wine, stamp, helium, and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Virtual.

Thoughts On Music

Music is my religion. Jimi Hendrix

My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die. Bob Marley

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best. Frank Zappa

To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music? Michael Jackson

Jazz is  not just music, it’s a way of life, it’s a way of being, a way of thinking. Nina Simone

Music… can name the unnamable and communicate the unknowable. Leonard Bernstein

Music is… a higher revelation than all wisdom & philosophy. Music is like a dream. One that I cannot hear. Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of woman. Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. Ludwig van Beethoven

The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Music is an agreeable harmony for the honor of God and the permissible delights of the soul. Johann Sebastian Bach

Bach is an astronomer, discovering the most marvelous stars. Beethoven challenges the universe. I only try to express the soul and the heart of man. Frédéric Chopin

Life seems to go on without effort when I am filled with music. George Eliot

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. Victor Hugo

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. Friedrich Nietzsche

Music is what tell us that the human race is greater than we realize. Napoleon Bonaparte

Music is the art of the prophets and the gift of God. Martin Luther

No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious and charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful. Kurt Vonnegut

When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest. Henry David Thoreau

Who hears music feels his solitude peopled at once. Robert Browning

You are the music while the music lasts. T.S. Eliot

I’ve found that no matter what life throws at me, music softens the blow. Bryce Anderson

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe. Lao Tzu

Written for Swimmers the New Community Pool prompt – Music.

Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll

My last few posts have been about a celebration of excess or debauchery and although I thought it was some of my best stuff, it was not received very well by most.  In my eyes, Rock & Roll taught me to ‘Not to give a fuck’ and to be myself and that means being original, but it seems that rock and roll has hit a dead end and although it might never actually die out totally, it will probably never blossom again.  Nothing brings out my indignation more than hearing someone remark that Rock is getting by on a wing and a prayer now, since the only people who enjoy it are those who are old enough to have seen the Beatles or gone to Woodstock.  I will always retain my fond memories of the 1973 concert that I went to at Watkins Glen, featuring the Band, the Grateful Dead and the Allman Brothers.  This concert was a real treat for me and I saw plenty of love, peace, nudity, and drugs there.

I was one of the 600,000 people who made the trip there for the festival that was known as the Summer Jam.  I drove there with 8 other dead heads in my station wagon and we drove in with an once of weed sitting on the dashboard, which did annoy me at first, but the concert was sold out, the gates were left open and we rolled by the parking lot attendants who just waved us through.  We got there the day before, which was called the sound test and all three groups performed.  I got the best recording ever of Tennessee Jed, as it seemed like Garcia was singing directly into my tape deck.  We camped out and went back the next day.

The stage was elevated so people in the back could see the groups, but this made it difficult for the people who were right in front of it.  Some of them tried to make human pyramid chains so they could climb up higher to see what was going on.  The stage crew responded by hosing everyone down that was in front of the stage.  It was a real mess up front and the people who were covered in mud began to strip their clothes off.

We (Danny, Patty, Irene and myself) were far enough back, to be out of the mud and have a good look at the stage.  The Grateful Dead kicked off with a jumping tune called ‘Bertha’.  They played two sets and some of the songs that I still remember after 45 years are ‘Truckin’, ‘Sugar Magnolia’, ‘China Cat Sunflower’, ‘Eyes of the World’, and they closed with Merle Haggard’s ‘Sing Me Back Home’.  One of the naked mud people wondered by us and Danny nudged me as said that we had to protect our girls from this a-hole.  This guy was a real piece of work, not only was he naked and covered in mud, but he had a snake wrapped around his neck which was definitely creeping Danny out.  This may have not even been the worst part as you could tell that this dude was tripping on something as his face was all contorted and he kept on drooling.  I considered the mud dude to be totally fungible, so I grabbed him by his arm and slung him back to the front of the stage where he belonged.  Danny and the girls all smiled at me and everything was blue skies and blossoms for us, now that this laboratory experiment of a person gone wrong disappeared into the crowd.  The Band followed the Dead, but a huge thunderstorm forced them off stage and that is when we went back to our campsite.

Written Daily Addictions prompt Week #32 – Remark, for FOWC with Fandango – Treat, for August Writing Prompts – Blue skies and blossoms, for Sheryl’s A New Daily Post Word Prompt – Laboratory, for Ragtag Community – Fungible, for Scotts Daily Prompt – Prayer, for Swimmers the New Community Pool prompt – Eyes and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – blossom.

Kiss and Tell

I learned to never reveal intimate secrets about any sexual relationships only after I lost someone by doing just that.  They say that a gentleman never tells, that he should be classy displaying integrity even when he is ‘getting some strange’, but guys do talk, although maybe not as much as women do.  Many guys like to show off after they just nailed some chick and this probably stems from the fact that most single guys have a hard time getting laid, so this makes them announce that they sealed the deal and got to home base.  Sharing your romantic exploits, revealing intimate, personal, private or confidential details, after recounting in your head and then giving your friends a firsthand description about a sexual encounter often crosses the line, as certain things are best kept between you and the person that you slept with.

I split up with my wife and got divorced and had my own apartment where I lived with my dog.  Anyway I went online to try and meet some women and I often chatted on Yahoo Messenger which was sort of working, but the problem was that the ones that I met were distant, usually living in Nigeria or Ghana.  I was single, but I was not savvy, but after a while I developed an aptitude for meeting girls and I became good at chatting.  One day I met this lady whose screen name was Peachy kisses Delicate and she said that she lived in my town and we hit it off right away.  She told me that her name was Eleanor and the communication that we shared was always on the intimate side.  She said that she had a cat and things would never work out for us because I was a dog person and then she mentioned that was married and that she just caught her husband cheating on her and she wanted to have an affair to get even, so this was never going to be about love and I was OK with that.

We made arrangements to meet at Walmart and see how it goes and take it from there, but the day before we were supposed to meet, she contacted me and told me that she had second thoughts and that she was trying to make things up with her husband.  I told her that I understood and I wished her the best of luck resolving things.  She said that she felt bad for me and she mentioned that she had this girlfriend named Susan, who was divorced and who said that she had not been with a man in the two years since and she said that she would talk to her about me.  I told her that was fine, and I actually felt that I would have a better time being with a divorced woman instead of a married one that was seeking revenge.

I heard back from Eleanor and she said that she told Susan about me and that she was interested in meeting me.  She sent me a picture of Susan and she was a real babe and I began to think that there was harmony in the universe.  Eleanor said, “I bet that you will have a great time, because I heard that she swallows.”  This seemed a bit strange, but I had no idea what girls talked about with each other and how graphic they got with certain details.  I told Eleanor that would be great as my ex wife never did that.  She gave me Susan’s email address and her phone number and I called her and asked her if she would like to go out to dinner with me.

I picked her up on Saturday night and we had a nice dinner and then we went back to my place to watch some TV.  Things got romantic and when we were both heated up we went into my bedroom where I gave her a back rub.  Things progressed and I had a fantastic evening and then I took Susan back to her place and I told her that I would call her so we could do it again, as she seemed to have as good a time as I had.  The next day after our date I saw Eleanor online and she asked me how things went with Susan.  I told her it was great and I thanked her for setting us up on the date and then I opened my big mouth and told her that she was right that Susan does swallow, I guess because I felt like I owed her something.

I called Susan the next day and she never answered her phone as I guess Eleanor must have told her what I said about her.  I realized that it was wrong and I accepted that I had ruined a good thing and that we would never be together again.  The lesson to be learned here is that if you had a good time with a girl, then keep your mouth shut and there is a good possibility that there will be more good times ahead.  You can get a dinner date even if you are not a gentleman, but if after it is over, you kiss and tell, that could ruin your chances at getting another date and you will end up having to eat your lunch all by yourself.

Written for FOWC with Fandango – Aptitude, for August Writing Prompts – Peachy kisses Delicate, for Sheryl’s A New Daily Post Word Prompt – Communication, for Ragtag Community – Cat, for Scotts Daily Prompt – Distant, for Swimmers the New Community Pool prompt – Love and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Harmony.