Infatuation

She had thought about and imagined this moment for years, but she’d never expected… his witty response.  She had dreams about being with him every night and she figured that her subconscious was trying to tell her conscious mind that it was time for her to make her move.  She was 16 and he was 21, but she was infatuated with him, and she had to get to know him.  He smoked, so she started smoking the same brand, figuring this might help her to catch his attention.  He could get into the clubs, places where she would not be allowed for another 5 years, but she could stand outside listening to the music and hoping that she could strike up a conversation with her crush.

Her brother was a bartender at this place and that gave her a legitimate reason to be standing outside, as she could always say that she was waiting for him to come outside on his break.  Her heart was filled with passion, and she craved excitement, wanting to be swept off her feet by a strong, confident man who know how to love a woman.  He was a biker and she imagined herself riding on his bike with him enjoying the freedom to go wherever they wanted together.  She knew that she would be safe with him, as he was a manly guy that would protect her and treat her like she was his queen.  He had a full head of hair and as soon as she could afford it, she was going to but herself a black leather jacket, so she would fit in with the rest of his friends.

It just turned midnight when she saw him come out of the club alone and she knew that this was her moment, so she took out a cigarette from her pack and flashed it at him and said, “Do you have a match?”  He said, “I sure do, how about your face and my ass?”, and then he laughed.  She was devastated, but she had a comeback because she watched that movie Joe Dirt and she said, “Why don’t you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?”  Her face became all flush and she knew that she shouldn’t have said that, so she started crying and then she walked away.  The biker told her to come back, and he said that she had a beautiful face and he also liked that she had the guts to stand up to his sarcastic humor, and then he said, “Do you think that my head could actually fit up inside of your butt?”  That made her laugh and she smiled at him, but just then this hot looking blond came out of the club and hoped on the back of his Harley and said, “Take me back to your place”, and they drove off.  Disappointed she started thinking to herself that she might never be able to catch that midnight rider.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #29.

Justice

When Frank turned the TV that night and saw the lead story on the late news, he knew that… the defeated ex-President Donald Trump was going to an insane asylum.  The prosecution made their case against him with very strong evidence about his crimes, but he broke down in court crying, “I won, I always win and it is impossible for me to lose, so the election was stolen”.  The judge knew that once he was confined in mental health institution, that he would remain incarcerated for a longer period of time, than if he had been found guilty and sentenced to a term in prison.  The judge saw Trump as a very bad man, rotten to the core with an evil spirit that made him unstable.  The humiliation of him being declared insane will force him to live the rest of his life completely alone in a federal mental hospital.  Gone are the days when Kevin McCarthy would stop by to kiss his ring, as Trump had to hock his ring to pay for his legal battles and he is still a billion dollars in debt.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #28.

Senility

I realized when I got home that I had accidentally… left my wife at the store with all of the groceries.  She just sent me a text asking me where I am, so I texted her back saying that I just got home.  She texted me again saying, “What about me?”  She is going to kill me for making this dreadful mistake, but I can explain myself.  My mind has always wondered and if I had a nickel for every time a teacher told me to pay attention in class, well let’s just say that I could have bought that boat that I have my eye on.  It wasn’t until the 1960s that the American Psychiatric Association (APA) formally recognized ADHD as a mental disorder, and in the 1980s, the diagnosis became known as “attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity”.  I should have been put on Ritalin to help control my ADHD, but sadly, I missed out on that.  My doctor said that it is too late for me as it may have adverse effects on elderly people.

We were both on the checkout line together with our shopping cart filled up with groceries and I told my wife that I wanted to buy some lottery tickets.  I just bought a new truck, so I parked it far enough away from the store, so nobody would run into it and I told my wife that I would pick her up out front to save time and effort of pushing the groceries all the way out there.  After I got my lottery tickets, I waved to my wife, who was still waiting in line and headed out to move my truck.  When I started up my truck, the radio was playing Hold On Loosely by 38 Special and I started singing along, “my mind goes back to a girl I left some years ago (Who told me) Just hold on loosely But don’t let go.”  I was tapping my hands on my steering wheel and exiting the parking lot when Bryan Adams started singing, “’Cause when the feelin’s right I’m gonna run all night I’m gonna run to you”, as I was clearly driving away from my wife.

A few songs later, I walked into my front door, and I noticed the text that my wife sent.  I started driving back to her and I was thinking that this could have been a lot worse, like if I forgot to wear a condom and knocked up her sister, but my better sense of judgement kicked in and I figured that it was not a good idea for me to tease her by mentioning that.  She was standing out in front of the store in the cold with the grocery cart and I pulled over right next to her.  She growled at me and told me not to mention my ADHD or lack of Ritalin to treat it or I would have another thing coming and then she called me senile and told me that I was nothing more than a senile old man and that I would probably forget my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders.  We loaded up the truck and started heading back to the house when the Simple Minds song started playing and that made us both laugh.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #27.

The Insurrection

I knew he had already arrived at the rendezvous point because I could… hear him chanting, “Hang Mike Pence!”  My friend George with help from the rest of the mob, had already constructed the gallows (or scaffold) and I was bringing the noose.  Trump was our man, and we would follow him all the way to hell if that was where he led us, and since Trump took issue with Pence for not intervening to change the results as he presided over the count of electoral college votes by Congress, we were going to dispense our own form of justice.  Trump kept on insisting that the election day results were fraudulent, and he made clear that he wanted Pence to invalidate the electoral college votes of five states in which Joe Biden had prevailed and this is why we had to breach the Capitol.  We were very angry and if we found Mike Pence, we would have hung him for the traitor that he is by refusing to reject the election results.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #25.

A Big Mess

She overheard the couple whispering in the adjoining room and realized… that they were going to abort their baby.  Living in Texas, this could be a good opportunity for her to make some easy money under the new Texas Senate Bill 8, or S.B. 8, as she could file a federal lawsuit against this couple who just passed the six-week deadline.  Now that private citizens can file civil lawsuits against anyone who performs, “aids and abets”, or intends to aid or abet an abortion performed after a fetal heartbeat can be detected, she hopes to collect a minimum of $10,000 in statutory damages if she wins the case.  She has nothing against this couple, but she needs the money, and her cousin is a lawyer that is looking to make a name for himself, so she is pretty sure that he would love to take this to court.

She heard the couple say that their doctor would help them out with this and perform the abortion for them in defiance of the new law.  The woman wanted the abortion because she was suffering from pulmonary hypertension, which put her at a near-certain risk of death, unless she ended the pregnancy, and the doctor knew that this new Texas law does have exceptions for medical emergencies, so he had that going for him.  The doctor is a Democrat who wants to hold the Texas Republicans accountable for their lax response to public health during the COVID-19 pandemic conflicts along with their crack down on abortion rights.  This doctor feels that this law is unconstitutional, and he is willing to take the risk to get this law off the books.  This lady uses the same doctor, and she has nothing against him, and he has been taking wonderful care of her as long as she has been seeing him, but she realized that she will probably need to get a new personal care physician after this lawsuit is filed.  She heard that abortion can be proved entirely by circumstantial evidence, and she had that, so now all she has to do is see how it plays out in court.  Pandora’s box is open now and only time will tell.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #24.

Online Gender Switch

He realized that she had made a fool of him when he opened the drawer and found… a driver’s license that showed Sheila was actually named Simon.  He contacted Sheila on a dating site where she disguised herself as a female who was looking for intimacy with a male.  He figured that Simon or Sheila was experimenting with her identity, switching to see how the other half lives, and relying on the anonymity of cyberspace to express her feminine side, which he or she would otherwise normally hide.  When he confronted Sheila, she told him that at 18 months old, she began exhibiting very strong female characteristics and her parents thought that she would grow out of it, but by the time she turned 4, they realized that this was not a passing phase and they let him transition into a girl.

Sheila said that she knows that physically she is still a boy, but in her heart, she knew that she is a girl, and she has always been a girl.  Sheila told him, “Boys will be girls when their gender identity differs from the sex they were given at birth.  I’m in the right body now, and I feel good.  I began playing with princess dresses and dolls at a young age.  I wore skirts, first at home and then out, along with glittery shirts and skinny jeans, and eventually I grew my blond hair long.  I just started wearing a padded bra and taking hormone blockers to suppress male puberty.  Last year I had my name legally changed from Simon to Sheila, and that is my old driver’s license.  I am not out to trick you, and this is not a game for me and if you think that I deceived you, I understand, but I didn’t know you well enough to share all of my secrets with yet.  I was unsure about joining this dating site, especially since I am just looking for someone to treat me with respect.”

He said, “I was attracted to you because you’re a woman, and I think that you are a very hot looking woman.  I don’t feel that it would make me any less of a man, or any less straight, if I were to date you and there is no need to keep this a secret, as I am open to being in a relationship with you, if you will have me.  I see you as a beautiful butterfly and I want to get to know you for the woman that you really are.  Wanting to get romantically involved with anyone is difficult, as you are setting yourself up for rejection, humiliation, and disappointment, but I think this could work for us as you are a straight woman looking for a straight man.  I will always give you respect and offer you encouragement so you can flourish as a woman.”  Sheila said, “Next month, I am getting rid of my penis and having a vagina installed.”

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #23.

What Next

When I looked inside, I saw no sign of life whatsoever, except for… this humming noise that was coming out of my Power Supply Unit.  My cat had knocked my coffee over and some of the liquid spilled into my desktop computer, but I acted quickly and unplugged it right away.  I knew that my computer would be able to survive some water being spilled on it, provided the power was off, but mine was running at the time.  By powering my system down, this would prevent me from getting a nasty shock when I surveyed the damage.  I slid the side panel off, to get a better look and since my computer was unplugged, I began to wonder why the power supply was still humming.  Then I remembered what I learned in Physics 2 in college which was all about electricity and I knew that it would take 5 time constants for a fully charged capacitor to discharge all of its voltage.  I was sure that there was a formula to figure out how long these time constants would last, but I wasn’t going to touch anything till the humming ceased and I thought it was safe.

It is probably my fault, as I never discouraged my cat from climbing on anything, because I knew this was ingrained in her nature.  Years of hunting birds which are found in trees, made cats become climbers.  I know that mine always looks for the highest space in every room to give her the best vantage point.  She jumps up on the counter when I am preparing her food and she leaps on the table when I walk by and begs for me to pet her.  I have several cat trees for her to climb up on, but she still goes on the bookshelf and knocks things over.  When she is not sleeping, most of her day is spent in the window, watching everything that is going on outside.  My cat wanted to see what was inside of my computer, but I had to brush her away, as I didn’t want her curiosity to be the end of her.

I waited till the humming noise went away and then I wondered if I should dump rice on my computer like they say you should do for a cell phone, or maybe I could use a hair dryer on it.  I thought about calling my friend Max, who is a real computer geek, but I figured that his troubleshooting skills would be limited without the computer being plugged in.  I was afraid of powering it up again and since I didn’t have the confidence to fix this myself, I decided to put the side panel back on and get a professional to handle this.  My friend Fandango blogs on his phone, but that is not my style and this is one of the reasons why I bought that new laptop.  My cat returned and meowed at me.  She looked at me with her green eyes and rolled over on her back and I knew that she wanted a belly rub.  When she wants my attention, she can be very demanding.  She can be such a cutie and I enjoy her company, but I don’t know how many more times I can put up with her breaking stuff.  I guess I should try drinking my coffee out of a cup with a lid on it.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #22.

Comforting Diane

Shaking, I grabbed her hand and said… “It happens to everyone and you will find someone much better, as he didn’t deserve you in the first place.”  Diane was married to my best friend Billy, but I always had the hots for her and there was something between us, but because we were both married, I never dreamed about acting on it before.  My marriage had recently gone down the tubes and there were red flags clearly waving in my face that I did not notice.  We stopped talking with each other as our jobs became more demanding.  We were still having sex, but it was without passion, there was no more kissing and cuddling and we were just going through the motions.  I started to have doubts on whether I had married the right person as this person who I once adored was driving me insane now constantly complaining about her job and every little thing that went on there.  I felt like I was doing my part, putting in enough effort to hold us together, but it takes two people for a marriage to be able to work.

The Covid lockdown became the catalyst for ending our relationship, as that is when the bickering started.  We were stuck inside watching TV and I happened to mention that this actress looked really sexy and she said, “If that is the type of woman that you want, you should go out and get her” and I responded with, “What crawled up your ass?”  She stared at me, so I asked her, “What’s the matter babe?”  She said, “You know I hate being called babe and I have just about had it with you.  Listen carefully and make no mistake about it, that if you and I ever separate, I will rake you over the coals, and take you for everything that you have.  You can pack up your underwear and take that smelly dog with you, but I am keeping everything else.”  Her message hit home and I realized that there was no saving this marriage.  I left and got my own place.

Billy and I were friends from High School, before I met my wife and before he met his.  Billy was always fun to be around and we played golf and drank beer together.  I knew that Billy was a bit kinky as one time he pulled these nipple clamps out of his pocket when he was trying to get his keys and being naive, I asked him, “What the hell are those things?”  He said, “You don’t use nipple clamps on your wife, as she has a great set of tits.”  I told him that my wife never takes her top off and that I haven’t even seen her tits in years and that she never enjoyed me fondling them.  I said, “That is so cool that Diane likes these things”, and he told me that Diane doesn’t know that he has them and that they are for his girlfriend.
I didn’t feel like it was any of my business, so I never asked Billy about his girlfriend.  Diane started crying and she told me that she discovered Billy was having an affair with a woman at work.  She asked me if I knew about his girlfriend and I told her that I didn’t know anyone from his work, which was true, even though I knew he has been cheating on her.  Diane was such a sweet girl and she didn’t deserve to be treated this way.  Diane continued sobbing and said that Billy told her that he developed a mutual attraction for this married woman at work and that they didn’t love each other, but he enjoyed the excitement of them having sex on their lunch breaks or after work.

Diane kissed me and then she admitted that her marriage has been much better since she found out about this.  She told me that Billy seems to be much happier and more relaxed and that their sex life has gotten way better and that she was not jealous of this other woman.  She told me that Billy was using sex toys on her and she wants him to continue seeing this other woman.  Diane told me that she was sorry about the way that my marriage had ended and that she felt bad for me being alone all the time.  Diane showed me these nipple clamps and she asked me if I knew how to use them and I told her, “Take off her top as I am sure that I can figure them out.”  Diane smiled at me and said, “I bought these for you to wear when we make love, but before I put them on you, I want to bite, lick and suck on them first.”  I told Diane that this was all new to me and I asked her to please be gentle with me.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #21.

I Couldn’t Stay

We had planned to meet under the bridge at midnight, but… I left before she arrived, as I decided that this was a bad neighborhood.  Why would she pick this spot, as there was random garbage littered all around, sneakers hanging on the telephone wires, everything was covered with graffiti, and these gangs of juvenile delinquents were loitering in the shadows?  Red flags lit up immediately, clearly signaled by the abandoned buildings and dilapidated ramshackle homes in this part of town.  I figured that there must be a lot of break ins around here, as all the houses had bars on their doors and windows and they installed really high fences and the entrance gates were padlocked.  I had never been in the ghetto before and I was surprised at how many cars I saw with broken windshields.  I passed more than a few homeless people that asked me for money and this was scary especially when I saw these people shooting up drugs and I was propositioned by these prostitutes.

Rottweilers and Pitbulls were barking at each other and I was happy that they were behind fences.  I made it past the tenement housing in the projects and all of these people were out on the street and I wondered if any of them actually had jobs, because most of them looked to be unemployable.  It made me wonder how people could live in these skid row slums and I figured that not all of them are bad people, as good people fall on hard times also.  I knew that there was no chance of me blending in and I just hoped that nobody would say, “Get Whitey”.  As I approached the bridge, the street lights were all out and that made it extra dark.

We met online and she told me that she walks this way on her way home from her waitressing job, but she didn’t trust me enough yet, to tell me where she works.  I knew her name was Maria and my heart jumped when I thought about her and I couldn’t get that song from West Side Story out of my head.  I waited around for an hour, thinking that she may have had to work a bit late, but I was scarred of getting mugged and I hit the road.  I will try and contact her on the internet, if I am able to make it back home in one piece.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #20.

Franklin’s Tower

There was something about a music box that always made me…want to wind them up and listen to them wondering what song they would play and watch what they would do.  Last year, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.  Sorry, I got off topic thinking about W. C. Fields who used to enjoy insulting Philadelphia and he composed this inscription for his tombstone, “Here lies W. C. Fields.  I would rather be living in Philadelphia.”  I guess just about anyone would rather be in Philadelphia than being dead.  OK, back to the story, Philadelphia was open that day and everywhere I went I kept running into Ben Franklin.  I couldn’t get away from him in the city of brotherly love.  This city is loaded with history and Ben Franklin’s name and image are everywhere you look, and he probably deserves all of this attention, because he was a great man.

I saw pictures, statues, signs, bridges and towers all dedicated to him and even the Liberty Bell is associated with him.  I walked into this antique store which had this enchanting and charming music box with a bust of Ben Franklin on it, but it also had a sign that said, “Do not touch”.  I asked the clerk in the store what song the box played and if it did anything special.  He told me that it played the Youngblood’s song ‘Get Together’ and then he sang, “Come on, people now, Smile on your brother, Everybody get together, Try to love one another right now”.  He said that Ben Franklin’s head would move up and down and spin around in circles while the music was playing, but the box was very old going back to 1970 and that it was not to be touched, unless it was by a serious buyer because it was very valuable.  I asked him how much it cost, because there was no price tag on it and he said $3,500 and I told him that it is a very nice song, but that was too much for me.

He noticed that I was wearing a skull and roses tee shirt and a steal your face hat and then he said that there were other music boxes in the back room and there was one in particular that I might find to be irresistible.  We went into the back room and he showed me this music box featuring the Liberty Bell and he said that this one plays the Grateful Dead song ‘Franklin’s Tower’ and he asked me if I would like to hear it.  We listened to the music playing as the Liberty Bell swung back and forth and it was completely captivating for me.  When the song was over, I asked him how much he was asking for this unique and fun toy and he said that it sells for $2,500, so I pulled out my credit card and told him to wrap it up, so I could go home and listen to the music play.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #19.