A Poke in the Eye with a Sharp Stick

My wife was invited to a United Way rewards dinner at a swanky restaurant and I went with her.  We ended up sitting at a table with a bunch of managers from her company who I didn’t know.  The waiter accidently stepped on this lady’s foot who was sitting next to me at our table.  She screamed and complained about how the waiter was so clumsy and honestly all of her complaining was ruining my dinner.  I said, “Better than getting stuck with a javelin” to lighten the mood, knowing that things can always be worse, but she just gave me a dirty look.  In hindsight, I probably should have kept quiet, but she continued making a really big deal out of this and most times I talk without thinking first.

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

If You Can’t Say Something Nice

Margaret Atwood said in her book Lady Oracle, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Constitutional Rights

Protesters across the country say wearing masks violates their Constitutional rights by denying their personal freedoms and in Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis continues to maintain his position that mask-wearing should be voluntary.  We have laws that prohibit people from walking around naked and laws that say people in cars must wear seatbelts, so having laws about requiring masks seems to make sense to me.  Do these protestors think that they have the right to infect others with the Covid-19 virus?  In society, you can’t just go around doing what you want to do.

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

It’s Just Not Cricket

This phrase is uttered when something is unfair or dishonest, not proper, substandard, or perhaps even illegal.  British people feel that when playing Cricket, the “Spirit of the Game” is the epitome of good sportsmanship, so Cricket is equated with upright behavior.

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Man Shoved by Cops

NY riot cops suspended after shoving man, 75, to the ground and leaving him bleeding and unconscious.  President Trump suggested without evidence Tuesday morning that an elderly man who was hospitalized after being shoved to the ground by police in Buffalo, New York, was an “ANTIFA provocateur” who may have been trying to “set up” law enforcement.

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Protest March Scheduled

Clermont is bracing for two separate demonstrations which are planned for today, Wednesday at 3 PM, and both are scheduled to protest the killing of George Floyd by a police officer in Minneapolis on May 25.  People are being encouraged to wear comfortable shoes and clothes, to bring water and signs, and personal protective equipment including face masks.

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Keep a Coolin’ Baby

A body temperature of 98.6˚F, or 37˚C is no longer normal, as new research finds the average human body temperature has dropped.  These temperatures remained a standard for over a century and a half, but humans have started cooling off.  As a result, the new normal seems closer to 97.5˚F, or 36.4˚C and this can be even lower for people over 65.

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Oh My

It is coming and there ain’t nothing that you can do about it.  WordPress is ramming the new Block Editor on us and all we can do is bend over and take it.
From WordPress, “On June 1 we’ll be retiring our older WordPress.com editor and transitioning to the more recent (and more powerful) WordPress block editor.”

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Thinking with My

I removed the last bag of groceries from my cart when this sexy lady approached me and said, “Can I have it?”, and I replied, “Wow, I am flattered.  You mean right here in the parking lot, like on the hood of my car, as it might be better if we went to a hotel.”  She said, “No silly, I was talking about your cart, as they don’t have any more carts.”  I said, “Sure, as that could be a problem.”  She took the cart and as she walked toward the store I said, “It squeaks and it pulls to the left.”  She said, “Most men would be ashamed to admit that, I admire your honesty, as I could see that being a real big problem for you.”  I said, “Lady, I was talking about the cart.”

Written for Linda G. Hill Life in progress One-Liner Wednesday.

Nobody Told the Lovebugs

Lovebugs are in the air, but they never got the message about social distancing and it seems like their only purpose is to annoy the hell out of everyone.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday.