I was shocked last night when my wife told me that she wanted to start seeing other people, because our sex life was dull. We had fallen into a routine of just doing it on Saturday nights, always in the same position and without any foreplay. She would say, “When you are ready stick it in”, which was very accommodating of her, but there was nothing sexy about that. She wasn’t providing me with the erotic stimuli that I needed from her, and she complained that I lost my desire for intimacy. I thought it over and I realized that she was right, as the thrill was gone, and we were just going through the motions of trying to maintain a relationship. I told her that since we both lost our passion for each other, that it might be a good idea for each of us to start doing some things to spice it up. I asked her if she was thinking about getting a divorce, or if she was interested in an open marriage. She said that she missed the thrill of dating and she wanted to explore having new lovers, so she could experiment with her sexuality.
I asked her if this was about love, romance, or was it just a sex thing. She said it was the latter and it started when one of her friends told her that she just met a guy and had wonderful sex and that this guy only calls her or comes by when he wants sex. She said that she needed something like that in her life and she didn’t see any harm in it. She told me that she wasn’t interested in a relationship and that she didn’t expect any type of commitment and it would be good if she could have this same thing that her friend has without any messy emotions. She was not interested in cuddling in bed after doing this and she didn’t want the guy to spend the night with her. She hoped that her new life would be like a bunch of repetitive booty calls and not endless one-night stands, as she wanted something that was all about nooky and did not require a dinner or movie before they got together. She wanted a relationship that would advance to a point where they felt comfortable being together, but one that would never develop into anything that was long-term. She said that she has needs and that she was looking forward to some truly amazing sex.
I told her that I wasn’t going to stay married to a slut, but I would consider wife swapping, which I had fantasies about, bit I had no idea where we could find a likeminded couple. My wife said that she was not interested in any type of group sex thing, but she did appreciate that we were discussing this openly, however she did not see any way for us to stop an impending divorce or save our marriage, but she wondered if she might be making a mistake and perhaps, she could give me another chance, because at one time we were good together. She said that she still feels a strong connection with me and that she will always trust me. My wife said that we could go our separate ways, but that would not be a guarantee that either of us would have a better life. I told her that there may be things that we could try to improve our marriage and make it stronger than it ever was. I said that we could start with a romantic getaway to reignite the spark and bring us closer. I said that we could build more intimate moments and create closeness by asking each other what we really want, kind of like what we are doing now. I said that if we could tell each other more about our desires, that this would help us to remain curious about each other, while we stay engaged in our conversation.
I said that when you are with a person long enough that you think you know everything about them, and this leads to couples that no longer listen or pay attention to each other. I told her that we need to start sharing more of our feelings with each other, because that would help us to understand what’s going on inside of us. She said that I was right and then she told me that she loved me, and she said, “When you are ready stick it in me”, which made me laugh. Maybe my love life really isn’t so dull after all.
Written for FOWC with Fandango – Dull.