Science Fiction

1.What was Fahrenheit 451 about?
This is a story about somebody that lived to be 451 years old by eating yogurt.

2. In 1984, who or what was “Big Brother”?
This refers to Tom Fogerty who was 4 years older than John.

3. What do the Hunger Games supposedly commemorate?
The celebrates the establishment of the first food pantry.

4. What exactly was the Andromeda Strain?
This is what Andromeda caught from fooling around with Narcissus.

5. What was Logan’s Run about?
This is the tenth film in the XMen film series where Wolverine enters a marathon.

6. What is the difference between the red pill and the blue pill in The Matrix?
The red pill puts you to sleep and the blue pill helps you get ready for sex.

7. What is the significance of the different hats in The Adjustment Bureau?
The different hats identify whether people voted for Republicans or Democrats.

8. What happens to all the Martians at the end of The War of the Worlds?
The decided to explore Venus.

9. What vessel does Capt. Nemo pilot?
Nemo’s father Marlin gets a ride on a turtle.

10. What do Axel, Otto, and Hans find at the center of the earth?
The Snow Queen.

Written for Frank’s Fibbing Friday.

Roll With It

1.What is rolling stock
This is when you run out of soup and you have to use Rolling Rock beer to mix your meat and vegetables in.

2. What is a rolling deck
This is a term used in Las Vegas so people have a harder time counting cards.

3. What is role play
This is an erotic kinky way to spice up your mundane life.

4. What is ‘on a roll’
This term is used for butter or ketchup.

5. What does a rolling stone gather?
Groupies.

6. What is a rolling boil
Are you sure that you didn’t mean bowling ball?

7. What is a rolling pin
This is used to curl your hair.

8. What is a steam roller

9. What is a roller coaster
This is an anti-gravity device.

10. What is a roller skate

Written for Di’s Fibbing Friday.

Golfing

1.What is an Arnold Palmer?
This is a golf term for a ball that is hit in the fairway.

2, What is a niblick?
This is for people that enjoy nipple play.

3, What is a mashie?
This is when somebody dumps mashed potatoes on your golf ball.

4. What’s the difference between a hook and a slice?
I have been with a few hookers and enjoyed a slice of what they were selling.

5. What name is given to a single hole score of three under par?
This is a term that is used for a very rare bird known as the Kookaburra.

6. What’s a bogey?
I have a cat named Bogey, she was found wondering around the golf course.

7. What’s the difference between a regular golf course and an executive golf course?
An executive golf is more exclusive.

8. What unique award is given to the winner of the Masters Tournament?
A case of Rolling Rock beer.

9. Why do golf balls have dimples?
Would you like them to have pimples instead?

10. What is the 19th hole?
This is the driving range.

Written for Frank’s Fibbing Friday.

Make Shift

1,Lucky dip is self explanatory when it comes to gifts, but how did it originate?
This was derived from swimming naked as if you could talk a girl into doing that with you, then you had a food chance of getting lucky.

2. Why is seven considered a lucky number?
This was lucky for the people who didn’t make it into the first six versions of heaven, as they still had a chance.

3. Why is thirteen considered unlucky?
It became unlucky so people could say Triskaidekaphobia.

4. Why do they say elephants never forget?
Because they just follow Trump blindly no matter what he does or says.

5. How did slippers get so called?
This term came about when Jimmy Buffett stepped on a pop tart.

6. What are the doldrums?
This is what happened when Keith Moon got too high and he forgot to bring his cymbals.

7. Do igloos have central heating?
Does ice cream have bones?

8. What was a jamboree bag?
I am not sure, but I think that papa has a brand new one.

9. What were blackjacks?
This was an awful tasting chewing gum.

10. Little Boy Blue blew what exactly?
This is probably none of our business and whether it was the sheep in the meadow, or the cows in the corn, he should be allowed his privacy.

Written for Di’s Fibbing Friday.

Bustle In Your Hedgerow

  1. Where did Fireworks originate?
    In my eyes when I first saw her.
  2. What gives fireworks their color?
    Animal byproducts.
  3. What does PGI stand for?
    Perfect Genitalia Issues
  4. What is the difference between a Firework and a Firecracker?
    A firework loses its job when it is fired, but a firecracker gets unemployment benefits.
  5. Which country uses fireworks on August 20th to mark it National Celebration Day?
    Hungary.
  6. What is a sparkler?
    An engagement ring.
  7. Who is the largest manufacturer and exporter of fireworks in the world?
    The coyote got all his stuff from Acme, but a lot of it backfired.
  1. To what does baozhang refer?
    I’m not sure that is a real word.
  2. Who composed Music for The Royal Fireworks?
    Queen.
  3. What is a Chocolate Bomb?
    Cocoa puffs.

Written for Di’s Fibbing Friday.

Halloween Fun

1.Why does garlic repel vampires?
That is because garlic is used to reduce blood clots and since vampires like their blood to be thick, they tend to avoid it.

2. What do you need to kill a werewolf?
You can shoot it with a silver bullet, or stab it with a silver blade, or put wolfsbane in their tea.

3. What is the purpose of a Jack-o-lantern?
It is used to celebrate pagan holidays.

4. What exactly is a ghoul?
Not long ago, Europeans were cannibals and they thought human remains contained the spirit of the body, so they started eating them.

5. Why can’t vampires enter a home unless invited?
This is so their doppelgängers don’t attack them.

6. Why can’t vampires cross running water?
This is because the Headless Horseman would get them if they did.

7. What does a chupacabra eat?
Since it is also known as a goat sucker, I am going to guess Goat’s head soup.

8. What is the name of the three-headed dog that guards the gates of the underworld?
The hound of Hades was named Cerberus and he guarded the gates of the Underworld to prevent the dead from leaving, but Orpheus was able to get passed him because the dog loved the music that played on his lyre.

9. Who are the Stygian Witches?
These are the three grey haired hag-like sisters that were in Clash of the Titans and they possessed a magical eye, and had a craving for human flesh.

10. What alcoholic beverage is thought to be the true origin of witches’ brew?
Fermented honey and water that makes mead.

Written for Frank’s Fibbing Friday.

Talk to the Animals

1.A walk of ………… emus.
2. A bed of …………. sloths.
3. A horde of …………. goblins.
4. A bike of ………….. rock stars.
5. A rhumba of ……….. sea slugs.
6. A shrewdness of …………. shrews.
7. A raft of …………….. plankton.
8. A mess of ……………. maggots.
9. A huddle of …………… penguins.
10. A family of………………. mongooses.

Written for Di’s Fibbing Friday.

Scarf Was Apricot

1.Exactly what did Columbus do in 1492?
He sailed to India.

2. Why does Canada celebrate Thanksgiving in October rather than November as the US does?
It gets too cold in November to celebrate anything in Canada.

3. Why do we carve pumpkins into Jack-o-lanterns for Halloween?
To celebrate the ride of Paul Revere.

4. If “octo-” means eight, then why is October the tenth month?
The stinking Romans screwed everything up, because their emperors wanted to have their own months.

5. Why do kids dress up in costumes and go trick-or-treating on Halloween?
Because if they did that on any other holiday, they wouldn’t get any candy.

6. What is the movie, Hocus Pocusabout?
It is the first Harry Potter movie.

7. In the Movie, Halloween, why was Michael Myers sent to an insane asylum when he was only six years old?
He was sent there so he could be cared for by Charlie Manson.

8. Continuing from the previous question, what did Myers do when he escaped approximately fifteen years later?
He shot John Lennon.

9. What was the movie, Lost Boys about?
This was a story about Tinkerbelle.

10. According to legend, why don’t vampires have a reflection?
They are too vain.

Written for Frank’s Fibbing Friday.

Book Titles

1.A Tale of Two Cities
This is about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

2. Pride and Prejudice
This is a book that contains dating tips.

3. Little Women
This is about a priest, a rabbi and a minister that walk into a bar.

4. The Carpetbaggers
This is about the NY Yankees’ shortstop Derek Jeter.

5. What Katy Did Next
This is about a florist that specialized in arranging Katydidit flowers.

6. Dune
This is about David Bowie’s first wife Angie.

7. Cider with Rosie
This is about all the wild adventures that Rosie had after drinking the cider.

8. Far from the Madding Crowd
This is about Trump staying away from the insurrectionists on January Sixth.

9. Jaws
This is about James Bond’s nemesis.

10. The Lord of the Rings
This is about a guy who had 9 wives.

Written for Di’s Fibbing Friday.

Bending and Stretching

1.Who is standing around a cauldron at the beginning of MacBeth?
A group of frogs waiting for their chance to go swimming.

2. What happens at the end of Romeo and Juliet?
The curtain comes down right after the fat lady sings.

3. What was Les Misérables about?
Les lived in a sewer and if you lived there you would be miserable also.

4. Why did the Phantom wear a mask?
He was the first one to practice social distancing.

5. Which cat earned the right to go to the Heavyside Lair?
The cat in the hat.

6. Chicago wasn’t about women on death row in the 1920s. What was it about?
Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, the one that jumped over the moon.

7. West Side Story was based on which of Shakespeare’s plays?
That was either A Midsummer Night’s Dream or Annie Hall.

8. Which Disney animated movie turned Broadway musical was inspired by Hamlet?
Hamilton.

9. Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street wasn’t about a homicidal barber. What was it about?
The city of Seville was densely populated, but they only had one barber.

10. Where did The King and I take place?
On the same hill with Jack and Jill.

Written for Frank’s Fibbing Friday.