All the employees were going to this castle for a whole week as part of another boring team building exercise, which the Personnel Director had planned. Ever since Miss Simpson started working at the company, she has been trying to get everyone to form bonds and connections so that they could work cohesively together towards a common goal. She convinced the owner of the company that these team building events are fun and motivational, but I think he was just attracted to her sexy legs. Miss Simpson started off with the Getting Naked icebreaker where everyone had to reveal awkward and embarrassing information about themselves, or their greatest fears to the entire group in an effort to loosen people up and get them laughing. This went over like a lead balloon as most people felt extremely uneasy having to talk about themselves and was a disaster as the whole workplace became a train wreck.
Her next activity was called Two Truths and a Lie which she hoped would inject positive energy into the group and build team spirit. This game required participants to share two facts about themselves to the group and one false statement. The group was supposed to determine which of the three statements is a lie. The problem with this was that the facts that we learned about each other just reinforced why we didn’t like each other in the first place. We figured out the ones that were good at telling lies and they were trusted less by the others, because now we know that they are nothing more than bull shit artists.
The classic Trust Fall was the next exercise that we had to endure, and this involved standing in front of another colleague who is behind you. You hold your arms out, close your eyes and lean back into the other person’s arms, but just before you do, your colleague will say “do you trust me?” After replying “yes,” you fall back into their arms trusting that you will be safe. This works fine when everyone is watching, but after returning to work, that same person will not respond to your emails, speak to you in a condescending tone of voice, and throw you under the bus at the first opportunity that they get. Doing something in an exercise does not make a person a team player!
Nobody liked Miss Simpson except the owner of the company who possibly may have been sleeping with her. After these three failures she convinced the owner to go along with her Disconnected Outdoor Activity which involved physical activities conducted away from the office, that she said would be fun, engaging and get people out of their comfort zone and now we all have to spend a week in this dingy old castle. Some of the employees loved competing and having the chance to showcase how fit and athletic they were, while others cringed because they felt incompetent, embarrassed and just couldn’t wait for it all to be over so they can complain that the team building exercises were nothing more than a waste of time and money.
The owner Mr. Johnson went all out on this team building exercise and there were Go-Karts, Roller Skating and Mini-Golf activities for everyone to enjoy. We each got our own room, and the catered food was tasty. There was Laser Tag, Wall Climbing events and a Zip Line with an inflatable cushion was set up for the more adventurous folks. Archery lessons were given to anyone that was interested and a catapult was also there for people that wanted to hurl these boulders at fake dragons and there was even an axe throwing contest. The final day we all had to get dressed up into these Medieval costumes and play a game called storm the castle. We were divided up into teams of defenders and attackers and things got ugly. We were all given helmets and armor, but none of us were qualified to be using battle axes, swords and crossbows. It was a blood bath resulting in a dozen injuries and three deaths.
Written for KL Caley’s Thursday Write Photo – Approach.