Chop Shop

You can work at my chop shop where we illicitly disassemble stolen motor vehicles and then sell their parts, but you have to start at the bottom.  The pay will be good, but the first thing I need you to do is watch that Nicolas Cage and Angelina Jolie 2000 action movie Gone in 60 Seconds, so you can get a good picture of what we are about.  We are after luxury cars that are owned by rich bastards, and it is perfectly moral to steal from those disgusting and greedy capitalist pigs who make up the 1%, especially since they are all insured.  You might think that stealing is wrong, because you are taking something that does not belong to you, but these miserable a-holes won’t share the wealth that they have accumulated, so it is our duty to take it.

The first thing I will teach you is how to hot wire a car and how to use a slim jim to gain access to a vehicle.  Later, you need to get familiar with the OBD (on-board diagnostics) port that is used by technicians to investigate the diagnostics of a car, so they can find the source of any warning lights displayed by the car’s dashboard.  Once you know your way around this, you can plug in an encryption device that will disable alarms, unlock doors and start engines by simulating a key entering the car’s ignition and you should be able to have the car rolling within just 15 seconds.  I will teach you other hacking methods that will intercept the frequency signal that is being sent by the owner of the car with their key fob to lock their car and then you will clone this key signal so that you can then walk up and drive away with the car.  Right now, I am hungry, and it is time for lunch, so I am thinking about Chinese food, and I am in the mood for some chop suey, so go out and get me some.

Written for FOWC with Fandango – Chop.

14 thoughts on “Chop Shop

  1. Jim when I was a kid…I went to the theater and watched the original Gone in 60 Seconds and the theater had Elenore there also…I loved that beat-up old car. The movie DID show you how to steal cars.

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