I Am Who I Am

When the people of Israel that were enslaved in Egypt, they cried out to God for deliverance, and God answered using this cryptic expression, “I am who I am”, which supposedly meant that he would deliver their freedom.  Moses heard this from God at the burning bush and he was supposed to tell the people of Israel that, “I am has sent me to you”, and the ineffable name of ‘I AM’ has since become so sacred that it is blasphemous to say this out loud, so it should not be spoken.

Meredith Brooks was more forthcoming in her song ‘I’m A Bitch, I’m A Lover’ that she co-wrote with Shelly Peiken and it became a huge hit in 1997.  Shelly said that this song was written when she was frustrated with her life, having had 10 years of album cuts without ever having a single.  She was coming home from a session one day, full of PMS in a big funk, and wondered “What am I doing?”  She thought about her boyfriend who she was living with, and now married to, and how he’s going to have to deal with this when she got home.  Would he be able to give her the emotional and physical space she needed and be patient and accept what she was going through?  She knew that he loved her any way that she is and then she thought, “He loves me even when I can be such a bitch.”

American singer-songwriter Meredith Brooks recorded ‘Bitch’ on her second studio album Blurring the Edges and the single went to #2 in the US and it reached #6 in the UK.  The song explores the complexities of being a woman, and how one label cannot define her.  By referring to herself as a bitch, this allowed women to re-claim the word “bitch” as a term of endearment.  The Rolling Stones wrote a song titled ‘Bitch’, Elton John had a song called ‘The Bitch Is Back’ and Stevie Nicks sang about life’s challenges in ‘Sometimes It’s A Bitch’, but this Meredith Brooks song was ranked at #79 on VH1’s “100 Greatest Songs of the ‘90s”, and it was nominated for Best Female Rock Vocal Performance and Best Rock Song at the 40th Annual Grammy Awards.

I hate the world today
You’re so good to me
I know but I can’t change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I’m an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved
To see the softer side
I can understand how you’d be so confused
I don’t envy you
I’m a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I’m a bitch
I’m a lover
I’m a child
I’m a mother
I’m a sinner
I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell
I’m your dream
I’m nothing in-between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you’ll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I’m going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won’t mean a thing

I’m a bitch
I’m a lover
I’m a child
I’m a mother
I’m a sinner
I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell
I’m your dream
I’m nothing in between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

Just when you think
You’ve got me figured out
The season’s already changin’
I think it’s cool you do what you do
And don’t try to save me

I’m a bitch
I’m a lover
I’m a child
I’m a mother
I’m a sinner
I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell
I’m your dream
I’m nothing in between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

I’m a bitch
I’m a tease
I’m a goddess on my knees
When you hurt
When you suffer
I’m your angel undercover
I’ve been numb
I’m revived
Can’t say I’m not alive
You know I wouldn’t want it any other way

Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh
Uuhh, uuhh, uuhh

Written for Reena’s Xploration Challenge 244 where today she gave us a video prompt titled, “Who am I”.

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