Green Energy

After the shock of seeing the amount of his latest electricity invoice wore off, Ted decided that, in order to save energy going forward, he would… live green.  Ted had heard about green energy, and he knew it could save the planet, but that would only increase his electric bill, so the way Ted was going to live green was to steal the power from his neighbor Mr. Green.  Desperate times require desperate measures and actions that he might have considered to be extreme under normal circumstances are deemed appropriate during these harsh occasions.  Ted didn’t know Mr. Green that well, but what he did know of him, he didn’t like.  Neighbors can come in all shapes and forms and Mr. Green was somebody that he would simply wave at from time to time, because he never integrated himself into the neighborhood, keeping to himself mostly, but his dog was a downright nuisance and that got under Ted’s skin.  His dog was constantly barking, and Mr. Green did nothing to try and stop that and worse yet, he let his dog do its business in Ted’s yard.  Since their yards were small, Ted found himself in constant contact with Mr. Green and his annoying dog.

Ted asked Mr. Green if he was going to come over and pick up the poop that his dog left in the yard and Mr. Green told Ted not to worry about it, as it was a gift from his dog and it would make good fertilizer for Ted’s grass.  Ted told Mr. Green that if he didn’t pick it up immediately that Ted was going to file a complaint with the animal control center, and they might take his dog away.  Mr. Green got out his hose and washed it away, but Ted could still smell it, so Ted asked Mr. Green what he was feeding his dog, as Ted had never smelled such a rancid or foul odor before.  Mr. Green admitted that it was a particularly pungent one and that maybe Ted should have bottled it up, as when it is noticeably stinky like this one, there is a good chance that the methane could be converted to power.  Mr. Green told Ted to put the dog poop inside of a digester that contains sludge-eating bacteria.  As they consume the waste, the bacteria will give off methane gas, which can then be easily converted into electricity.  Mr. Green gave Ted the idea, but Ted was not going to bottle up Mr. Green dog’s poop, Ted decided that he would tap directly into the power meter on Mr. Green’s house.

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #59.

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