Random Love

Warren Zevon wrote and recorded ‘Accidentally, Like a Martyr’ on his 1978 third studio album Excitable Boy.  Warren was married to Crystal Ann Brelsford from 1974 – 1981 and he was a womanizer who raved maniacally (and sometimes violently) through alcoholic blackouts, terrorizing his wife, Crystal, and scarring his two children, Jordan and Ariel.  Like a lot of Zevon’s work, the lyrics in this song are abstract enough that they can be made to fit just about anyone’s own personal interpretation.  This song is probably about a relationship that has grown old and stale, so the man is unhappy and worn out, because he thinks he is stuck or trapped in it, and he cannot leave.  Many couples stay together even when they’re in a rut, but time has its way of changing things.

He is not satisfied with the way his life is turning out, as he wants to be with his friends, but his “phone don’t ring” anymore, because marriage changes people and his former friends are all long gone.  He is beyond being depressed, to the point where he feels like the “sun refused to shine”.  He feels that he is still paying for things that are already his.  Relationships have a way of changing over time, and as this happens, physical intimacy is often affected.  In this song, the man goes from being passionate making “mad love” when they were first together, which transforms into “shadow love” when they were happy being together, and this becomes “random love” as their intimacies became more sporadic with time and finally, they have “abandoned love”, as they no longer interact in that way.

He refers to himself as being a “martyr”, because he has given his life for a cause, which is the vows that he made which are still keeping this relationship together.  This is not the life that he envisioned for himself, as he probably acquiesced to this point, because he doesn’t see a way to turn things around, hence he is “accidentally like a martyr” and has given up on the life that he desired, for the sake of his family.  Every day things seem to get worse, and as the “hurt gets worse” for him, his “heart grows harder”, so he can deal with the pain.  “The days slide by” and he second guesses the decisions that he made, figuring that he should have done some things differently.  The distance between him and his wife keeps growing and this causes him to be even more lonely.  He probably feels like he is waking up next to someone that doesn’t love him anymore.

The phone don’t ring
And the sun refused to shine
Never thought I’d have to pay so dearly
For what was already mine
For such a long, long time

We made mad love
Shadow love
Random love
And abandoned love
Accidentally like a martyr
The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder

The days slide by
Should have done, should have done, we all sigh
Never thought I’d ever be so lonely
After such a long, long time
Time out of mind

We made mad love
Shadow love
Random love
And abandoned love
Accidentally like a martyr
The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder

Written for Bee’s Love Is In Da Blog 22 where today we are asked to find a random love song.