If you want to know what is the real Santa is like, we got it straight from the reindeer’s mouth and this little cutie is not holding back any punches, giving us the dope on the guy in the red suit, how his wife doesn’t really bake any cookies and how Rudolph got his nose to be so bright. Blitzen is here with us today on Channel 3 as we take a trip up to the North Pole and everything is melting because of global warming. It appears that Santa is down in Bermuda today on a well-deserved vacation, but he is keeping to his schedule, by having his sleigh in for repairs and a tune up. He is also having a hole repaired in his magical toy sack, but Blitzen isn’t letting us know how that thing actually works. Mrs. Claus is busy purchasing sugarplum cookies that are actually made by Donkin Donuts, but don’t let anyone know who let the cat out of the bag on that one. Blitzen revealed that Rudolph has a high density of mucous glands in his nasal passages and that when his nose isn’t shining brightly, it is dripping snot all over the place. Thanks for ruining my lunch today, Blitzen.
Written for Stine Writing – Poetry, Positivity, and Connecting!, Simply 6 Minutes hosted by Christine Bialczak.