The person I see in the mirror is not me. It hurts that I’ve lived with this stranger for so long. The face that looks back at me is that of a normal man, but I know I am perverted and I hide my secret in the closet. I knew that liked dressing up in women’s clothes the day that I walked into my sister’s bedroom and saw her frilly dress hanging up in her closet and I had to try it on. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to feel it on my skin, so I took off all of my boy clothes and put her dress on. I was so frightened that somebody would catch me, but I got away with my deviant behavior and I put her dress back in her closet. I never had another incident, till after I was married.
My wife and I shared an apartment with her mother and her mother would leave her intimate apparel hanging all over the place and that piqued my curiosity. One day when I was at the apartment by myself, I decided to explore her bedroom and I opened hp her dresser drawer and became engrossed in all the nice things that she had in there. My wife never wore any sexy outfits, but I was transfixed by all the gorgeous lingerie that my mother-in-law had. There were packets on new stockings, suspender belts, thongs, and every item of sexy lingerie you could imagine. My mother-in-law was much larger than my wife and I figured that some of her stuff might fit me, so I stripped my clothes off and tried on a pair of her panties and one of her bras and I loved the feeling. When I looked at myself in her bedroom mirror, I realized that this is the person that I was meant to be. I didn’t like men, but I wanted to dress up in the pretty clothes that women were allowed to wear.
When my wife came home, I told her that I had a surprise for her and I went into her mother’s bedroom and came back out wearing her panties and I said, “They fit me perfectly”. She screamed at me to take them off, asking me what was wrong with me and I told her that I was just having fun. I never imagined that what was a sexual turn-on for me would be a turn-off for her and I ended up losing my wife. Now that I was back on my own, my compulsion only increased and I started ordering feminine clothes for myself in some online catalogs. I reasoned that if I only wore my frilly garb at home, there was no need for me to be concerned about being caught. I found inner peace with myself, each time I purchased a new item of women’s clothing and after I had enough panties and bras, I started buying shoes and makeup. Women are beautiful and I want to be just like them.
I saw my mother-in-law one day when I was out shopping and I asked her how my ex-wife was doing and she told me that she had met a real man and she was doing fine. I figured that my wife must have told her that I wore her panties and I apologized to her for doing that. I was shocked when she said that she had just picked up some new things and she wondered how I would look in them. I went back to her place with her and modeled all the things that she gave me to try on. She slipped into a tight leather black skirt, and some very high patent heels with fishnet nylons. She wore a silky red blouse that was cut very tight and several buttons were undone leaving her beautiful breasts almost fully on display, and I told her that I was happy that we were both the same size. My mother-in-law was open, non-judgmental, caring, accepting of my problem and most important, I knew that I could trust her not to tell anyone about our secret.
Written for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #197.