I was waiting to come up with something, so I could respond to this prompt, but damn it I am a writer, not a waiter, so let’s do this. I wish that I never got fat and out of shape, but this happened because I never ate healthy foods and I wasn’t interested in working out. My motto was always, “If you don’t have any fat, then you are not having any fun.” When I was young, I had no idea about what I wanted to do with my life, so I never planned anything. I lived in the moment and now I realize that was a big mistake. I was not fat when I was in High School, and my beer belly came later, from drinking too much beer. I enjoyed partying which included smoking joints, drinking beer and listening to music, mostly the Grateful Dead.
It is possible that my metabolism had something to do with me getting fat, but I have to think that drinking beer contributed more to this. I drank to excess every night and this was something that I was good at. We used to go to this bar, two carloads of guys and we would sit at different tables and drink pitchers of beer. It was a competition to see which table could consume more beer and the table that won, wouldn’t have to pay for the drinks, which was a big encouragement for me to drink as much as I could.
Another night in a different bar, this guy bet me that I couldn’t drink one glass of beer every minute for a whole hour. The glass was only 4 ounces and I knew that I could chug that down in a few seconds, so I accepted the challenge. Over the one-hour period this came to 240 ounces, which equaled 1.875 gallons of beer. If you break this down into 12-ounce bottles of beer, that meant that I had to drink 20 bottles in an hour. I did it, but the worst part was that since I have to drink that glass of beer every minute on the minute, I didn’t have time to go to the bathroom during this period.
Once you get fat, there is no coming back. You can go on a diet, but most people who diet rarely have their bodies return to their former shape. You can try to cut calories and start exercising, but most of the time this ends up as a losing battle. Most people will go through stages where they will lose some weight, only to regain it later. When I decreased my calorie intake, it triggered my body to go into starvation mode, which reduced the amount of energy that I naturally expended, making it even harder for me to lose weight. My body like everyone else’s is continually creating new fat cells and the number of fat cells that a person has remains constant through their life. New fat cells grow because of our genetics, this is a result of preventing people from starvation where our ancestors would store energy in times of famine, so it is not my fault that I am fat. It got to a point for me where I accepted that I am a hippopotamus and I know that I am supposed to be enormous.
Written for Fandango’s Provocative Question #129 which asks, “What is the one thing you would like to change about yourself? What would it be and why?”
Funny and accurate take on the topic, Jim! It’s a losing battle! 😂
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If I am destined to be fat, I might as well be happy.
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Know what you mean Jim, I had starvation mode for years.
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I find myself eating less, and I am loosing a bit, but it is a never ending struggle.
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I hear you. We bought smaller plates to con the eyes into thinking we were having larger portions. Jacket potatoes are filling with a side salad, though I am not a salad-y person as I retain the water which is quite common. Slimming World has helped me enormously Jim and there are some recipes on my blog of my versions which are filling and according to their marketing strategy ‘syn free’ . They might help as they are all basic foods so you don’t have to buy special ingredients. I’m no expert, but I’ve maintained my weight now for 2 years, though it was a struggle to get there, and even more so to stay there!
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I’m glad you are a writer and not a waiter. As to being fat, well, I think the words you post on hour blog say more about who you are than the size of your beer belly!
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I stole that opening sentence from your one liner Wednesday.
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I know!
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Well, I wish the oppisite…
I could gain weight a little bit. I just don’t get pounds easily and I can’t eat constantly. On the other hand, I don’t even want to eat very unhealthily (I do eat everything, but I don’t want too much junk food) so this is challenging…
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We must have different metabolisms.
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Fat kitty cat? BWAHAHHAHHA!!!! Oh my goodness, that was hilarious! 😛 Ziggy went a little nuts looking for the cat after hearing that intro to the song! I’m going to laugh all day. You’ve got one thing going for you Jim (at least). You embrace who you are and no excuses! That’s tough to do whether you’re small OR large…not many people like how they look and fewer accept their bodies as is. Good for you! 🙂
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Thank you Melanie and I try to be honest, which makes me different from others.
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I’ve got a bit of a pot belly (who hasn’t after 60) but that’s about it really. I’ve never been overweight but I have been underweight and lying on a hospital bed for three months did that.
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Glyn when I first joined WordPress I had no idea what I was doing, but I got a lot of help from friends that I made here. The first thing that you need to do is set up your Gravatar. It is easy to do, but most of the instructions are hard to follow. When I am on WordPress, I see the internet address at the top of my screen and below that there are menus, three on the left (My Sites, Reader and AMP which I never used) and three on the right (Write, My Profile and the Bell). Click the My Profile and put in information about yourself and add your Gravatar photo here.
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Yes, my gravatar is done and dusted, so, that’s a start at least 🙂
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Our size, race, sexual orientation, educational level, accents, opinions, hair length,… etc.
does not define any of us. Some of those things are fluid and impermanent while some are unchangeable. Our humanity, generosity, and humility, does. You look perfect to me. 😉
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Thanks Susan. Looks are only what people see on the outside, and what is on the inside is what matters most.
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I am still trying to comprehend the hour with a beer a minute!
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I have more stories but I think that I made my point.
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Yep, I think it says it all!
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