So what, if it is a home for lizards, scorpions and snakes, and not even a cactus would dare to grow here, it is all mine. I won this property playing 5 card stud and I probably had the worst hand that a person could probably be dealt. There were five of us playing Professor Shark, Kid Thunder, Texas Molly, The Tooth and me and I bluffed my way into winning this pot. They were all a bunch of ruthless scoundrels and Professor Shark wouldn’t give the time of day to his own mother. Kid Thunder was a low life gun slinger and he actually carved notches in his guns to represent the people that he killed. Texas Molly was morally unacceptable by anyone’s standards, an outcast that had no place in society and she was notorious for drinking cocktails and belching. The Tooth aptly named after his gold front tooth which didn’t do anything to improve his appearance had that evil smile that could stop an 8-day clock and he was indeed an ugly guy.
You have all seen The Cincinnati Kid with Steve McQueen playing 5 card stud, so there is no need for me to explain the rules. The first card is dealt down and I got a three of diamonds, as my hole card and you bet on every card or else you drop out of the game. The next three are dealt face up and I got a 5, 6 and 7 of spades, so this may have looked good to the others, but I thought it was a pretty shit hand. The others were wondering if I was going to pull off a straight flush, a flush, a straight and from their prospective, I could still have three of a kind, or a pair. I stayed in this game putting my anti up after each card and I was looking to pull off an inside straight.
Professor Shark had a pair of 8s showing and nobody else looked like they had anything good with their face cards, so Kid Thunder and Texas Molly had dropped out of the pot before the last card was drawn. The Tooth wanted to stay in the game and he asked if he could put up this deed to cover his bet and Professor Shark and I both looked ant each other and said why the hell not. I needed a four of any suit to pull off my straight and the last card was dealt down and dirty. I looked at my card and it was a stinking 2 and this may have been the lousiest hand that I was ever dealt. The call went to The Tooth and he must have gotten nada and he folded, leaving me to stay in or drop. I realized that this was the perfect bluff hand, as from what everyone else saw, it had lots of possibilities. I raised the limit of $500 and this was too steep for Professor Shark as he also folded.
I never let anyone see my cards even though they all wondered what kind of hand I had, so I just give them a smile which let them know that since they didn’t pay to see, then they would never know. I won three grand in that pot plus the deed for this property and I am thinking about getting a trailer to park out here and I will call this my hideaway. I think that this place has some possibilities.
Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #127.