Damn Aliens

Those tentacled monsters ate off my face and I am going to get even.  I worked out of the Pentagon in the Department of Defense, kind of like one of the men in black, as I was required to make anyone who said anything about UFSs sound like an idiot with my disinformation campaign, which I spewed out over and over.  I kept all of the secrets and I know exactly where every alien is being held and what each one of them is capable of doing and I know Roswell and Area 51 like I know the back of my hand, and since I spend my entire day at the keyboard entering secret data, I am pretty familiar with the back of my hand.  However, this is about my face not the back of my hand and when the space creature latched onto my face, my skin started disintegrating.

I know exactly what you are thinking, “Why would the government hide information about aliens?”, well our government does have a motive for keeping this secret, and it boils down to them having the means and the opportunity to do whatever the hell they want to do.  The government can buy property and close everything down, especially after they have it classified as being Top Secret and then they can control everything that goes on inside of these secret underground bunkers.  Something in Congress gives them the power to control any information that they have deemed to be harmful to our national security, so all of this covert stuff is perfectly legal.  We have their tech and that is the main reason why we are going to Mars, as we want to be far away from any other governments so they won’t have the ability to spy on us when we test out the new devices which we have reverse engineered from their crashed ships.  No, we don’t have warp drive, but these things are a hell of a lot faster than anything that we had previously.

The government wants to pay me off for the what they call an accident of the alien that sucked my face off and they said that reconstructive surgery should get me back to looking normal and I am going to take their money and go through with the surgery, as God knows I need it, but I am getting my revenge first.  Do you know what kind of damage can be done with a double barrel shotgun, well that will depend on how close I get to that stinking alien.  The government says that I should forgive the alien for destroying my face, because it was only attempting to communicate with me, but I am not buying any of that.  The spread is not very large with this gun, so I will need to get in close, but when I do, I am going to blow every one of his tentacles completely off and then I am going to take a leak on its head, as somebody needs to teach it proper manners.

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #115.

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