Oh, Fudge!

I said a bad thing and I knew that I was in trouble.  I was too old to have my mouth washed out with soap, but I knew that there was a good chance that my dad was going to beat me with his belt.  Yea, back in the day discipline involved punishment by the strap being whacked on my backside.  I had been involved in a lot of chicanery, when I was young, so I got in trouble often.  Anyway, it was Valentine’s Day and I picked up a card for my next-door neighbor because I thought that she was cute and I was too shy to flirt with her.  She was probably out of my league, because we were both Freshmen in High School and she was always hanging out with Juniors and Seniors.  I wasn’t trying to date her; I was just trying to be friendly.

I was an envelope pusher; but I knew what limits I could go to without crossing the line.  I never said the a.. word, the f… word, or the s… word in front of my parents, as I knew that they would not approve of that, but when I was out of the house, ass, shit and fuck were in my vocabulary.  I could have said stupid stuff like apple jelly jumping jacks for ass, or seven brides for seven brothers for shit, or fudge for fuck, but I didn’t.  After school that day Bonnie started picking on me for the Valentine’s Day card that I sent to her, and she told me how lame I was.  That was the turning point and I blurted out, “You should close your legs because your breath smells”, which worked, as she shut up immediately after I said that.  I think I read that phrase in a book that was about gangs, but I was not really clear of what it exactly meant.

Bonnie’s face turned red and I figured that I had won and it was over, till we got off the bus and she said, “I am going to tell your father what a dirty mouth you have”, and that made me sweat.  She sat on her front porch the whole afternoon, till my dad came home from work and then she darted over to my dad with amazing speed and told him what I said.  I figured that since it was sort of a holiday that maybe my dad could table this till tomorrow, but no, he grabbed my arm as he was taking his belt off and he beat my bottom all the time saying that he did not raise his children to talk dirty.  I thought that my butt might hurt for a whole month after this, but it only hurt for a few days.  I did not talk to Bonnie for the rest of the year and I would not even say a word when she wore her garish clothing.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Garish, for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Table, for the Daily Spur prompt – Tomorrow, for FOWC with Fandango – Sweat, for Christine’s Daily Writing Prompt – Seven brides for seven brothers, for January Writing Prompts – Apple jelly jumping jacks, for Ragtag Community – Chicanery, for Di’s Three Things Challenge prompt words – Dart Month Speed and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Turning.

9 thoughts on “Oh, Fudge!

    1. Those strange prompts “apple jelly jumping jacks” and “seven brides for seven brothers” started this post and then I thought about Ralphie and I knew that I could fashion a story around that.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess I started reading these gang books, when I was in junior high and I am pretty sure that is where it came from. I must have liked the way it sounded, even though, I was not clear on why a girl’s private parts would smell bad. It sure got Bonnie upset, but I paid the ultimate price for saying it.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I learned a word when I was around 6… I was at my grandmothers with my dad there and family… I thought I would use this colorful new word I learned…”That G..D… food was great!”
    Well you could have heard a pin drop. To my dad’s credit…I didn’t get into trouble because I probably learned it from him. He just talked to me.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.