Baghdadi’s Underwear

The FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorist ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead and Kurdish spies stole his underwear and obtained a blood sample to acquire his DNA in order to help confirm his identity after his body was blown up.  He was a real bad guy who liked to dish out pain and many people are ebullient about this news and Baghdadi should be ashamed for killing his three children along with himself by detonating a suicide vest during the raid.  ISIS has distributed passports to their fighters that state the holder can only go to heaven, but it is clear to me that Baghdadi will not be enjoying a sunset setting topped with six-inch stilettos.

This may sound naïve, but I purchased the underwear from Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab who is better known as the Underwear Bomber, the man who smuggled a bomb in his underwear aboard a commercial airliner on Christmas Day in 2009.  I just saw that Baghdadi’s underwear has been put up for sale online and since it was no longer needed, it was given back to the Kurdish spy.  I am going to put in a bid on his Caliph style underwear, but I am reluctant to buy anything that is covered with skid marks, however if I procrastinate, I am sure to lose out.  When I was younger, I used to dream about being Captain Underpants, the superhero who fights crime while wearing only underwear and a cape, however in my dreams my underwear kept falling down.

Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt – Ebullient, for Roger Shipp’s Daily Addictions prompt – Dish, for the Daily Spur prompt – Ashamed, for FOWC with Fandango – Procrastinate, for October Writing Prompts – A sunset setting topped with six-inch stilettos, for Ragtag Community – Falling and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Naïve.

28 thoughts on “Baghdadi’s Underwear

  1. In all seriousness, if Al Baghdadi was really a practicing Muslim, his underwear would be totally free of skid marks. Ritual cleanliness before praying–5 times per day–is a must and there were butt sprayers in every toilet I ever visited during my 8 years living and working in the Middle East and they are always used after every visit. I must say that once you get used to the idea of butt cleanliness, you will probably never want to return to the particularly unsanitary toilet paper smear that seems to be enough for most Westerners. 🙂

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