More Or Less

1. What makes squash?
Cultivated seeds.
2. How would you describe ‘hen pecked’?
The CDC advises against kissing any poultry or snuggling with them.
3. What’s a tuffet?
That is when I struggle to get into my skinny jeans.
4. What would you do with a flump?
I would drop the bomb and get it on.
5. Why was the mate plucking pheasants?
The water was already boiling.
6. What are minis, midis, and maxis?
Skirts with the mini being named after a car, the midis coming from the south of France and the maxis are for Muslim women.
7. What would you find if you went down to the woods today?
My little horse must think it queer to stop without a farmhouse near between the woods and frozen lake on the darkest evening of the year.
8. What’s a titfer?
Feeding babies.
9. Why are fire engines red?
Catherine the Great always wore a red velvet robe and thus the Russians became associated with the color red and since fire engines had to rush to fires, they were painted red.
10. What’s green and goes round and round?
Martians at a Dead concert.

Written for Fibbing Friday hosted by Di this week.