I was 12 years old when my mother asked me what kind of woman I would like to marry, and since I had no idea what I wanted, I told her to chose for me. My logical mom said it would be best if I married a local girl that was the same religion as I was and that came from a similar economic status, so that our social circumstances would match. I started thinking and I told my mom that I wanted a beautiful girl who also had a nice personality, but most of all she had to be loyal to me. I said that marriage was about romance and good looks are important to initiate sexual desire. A good personality is vital to have a prolonged relationship, and loyalty is the key ingredient for stability.
My mother and my older sister told me that I was very wise and they said that they had the perfect girl for me. The girl Julie turned out to be the niece of our neighbor, however she was only 9 years old at the time. She was a nice girl, but neither of us was ready for marriage, however we did become boyfriend and girlfriend for each other. My friends did not have girlfriends and they used to tease me saying, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Eric and Julie with the baby carriage.” Sometimes that got on my nerves, but deep down I knew all of them were losers and that Julie was a keeper. Love takes all kinds of shapes and forms, but the one essential that makes it work, is when both partners have a shared understanding of the priorities in the relationship and marriage. If each partner has the same priorities (valuing their family, work, love and passion), and they agree to support each other in their shared goals, then it can work out.
Our families really hit it off and I was in an arranged marriage with Julie that would take place sometime in the future. I viewed this as a practical decision, rather than being blinded by passion, so I was able to concentrate on my career and if things worked out someday Julie and I would be married. I saw Julie as a potential bride, but I knew it would be her choice to marry me or not when I decided to pop the question. Marriage was not a priority for me, but Julie kept talking about wanting children. I bought her a ring, got down on one knee and asked her to be my bride.
I wasn’t jumping up and down to get married, but for me marriage was a legitimate way for us to be in a relationship, to have sex, and to start a family, so it was the right time. I was now 22 and Julie was 19 when we decided to tie the knot. What kind of wedding would we have if I did not help Julie with the planning? I considered myself to be organized, but this was not really my thing. We needed a location that would work out for our families and I couldn’t have cared less about the theme, decorations or the cake. We met with a wedding planner that would take care of our needs, so Julie could concentrate on getting her dress and together we would work on the guest list and where we would take our honeymoon.
The big day arrived, and we had gone through a rehearsal so the bridesmaid, my best man and the ushers all knew what to do, thus I didn’t have to worry about any last minute issues spoiling anything. My uncle was the photographer and he knew what kind of pictures we expected, so that was another reason why I remained calm. I was a writer, so I wrote the toast for my best man, making it humorous without becoming embarrassing for me. My bride looked stunning as she walked down the aisle and our wedding was going off without any problems, that is until everyone drank too much at the reception. That will be another story for another day.
Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver – #227 – Wedding – 13th June hosted by Michael.