R-Rated Come Back

When I was young all the kids would rank each other out, saying things like, “You are so ugly that if my dog had a face like yours, I would shave his ass and make him walk backwards.”  This was done to be funny, most times it was not meant to be mean, but if you didn’t have a comeback, than you would have to hide your head in shame.  Nobody ever wanted anything said about their mother, there is something that is sacred about a mother, so the comeback that always worked was saying, “Your Mama”, short and simple did the trick, as you didn’t even have to say, “So is your Mama.”  If the rank out included anything sexual, you could always say, “Well your Mama liked it.”  The worst rank out that I ever heard was said to this kid who had a bad case of acne.  The guy came up to him and said, “Your face is disgusting, it looks like someone set it on fire and beat it out with a chain”, and this one was mean spirited.

I moved into a new school in Eight grade and I went to Catholic school.  A very pretty girl lived next door to me, but she went to Public school and we had different friends.  I went to the public High School after I graduated Grammar School and I took the public bus to and from school just like my next door neighbor did.  We each had our own group of friends, so we never talked with each other.  There was an announcement in school and a bunch of posters were hung up promoting Valentine’s Day, so I bought a card for her and put it in the school mailbox, so it would be delivered.  On the bus ride home she kept making fun of me, calling me a retard and telling me how embarrassed she got when my card was delivered to her.  I said something stupid to her, but it did get her to stop screaming at me.

I told her to close her legs, because her breath smelled and then she left me alone after that, but it wasn’t over.  She sat on her front porch and waited for my Dad to come home from work and then she went running up to him.  My Dad was furious and he started taking off his belt and beating me and saying that he did not want a son with a dirty mouth.  He beat me pretty bad and I only said that to get her to shut up.  A year later I had become strong enough to take the belt away from my Dad and that was the end of my beatings.

Written for 12/1/18 Linda G. Hill’s ‘Life in progress’ Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt is “ma”.

22 thoughts on “R-Rated Come Back

    1. Thank you and this was a long time ago, probably before feminine hygiene spray was even invented, and although I was just trying to get this girl to stop picking on me, maybe she had some issues. I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day any more, that holiday is the most dangerous one, as it messes with people’s feelings.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Most holidays are burdens rather than delights. And manipulated by commercial enterprise. I love birthdays most of all. I could never have the gall to ridicule a person to their face, especially if they did something nice for me. I was raised better than that. But comebacks I can manage. My Dad taught me to be scrappy. We are both short. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jill and she may have looked nice on the outside, but she should not have gone off on me like that for sending her a Valentine. She probably was ugly on the inside and this was a time in my life when I did not have a lot of confidence being with girls, so she could have been nicer to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yep, that is the worst. Who would be upset over getting a Valentine’s card?!?! I was always more worried I would not get a single one. Especially in the lower grades where we got the class roster. I was so sure my paper bag mailbox would be empty. Thankfully the teachers made sure everyone got at least one even if it was the one from them.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. 7th 8th 9th are where kids are most cruel to each other and where the most hormonal change is happening so emotions are at an all time high. your dad sounds like a real prince. my mom loved to pull my hair and slap me in the face when younger, then get me down on the ground and pound me as a later teen. as an adult, she’d walk by me at family gatherings and punch me hard in the arm — until the day i took a similar stand. never hit her, but made it clear it was ending then.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Dad was a wonderful man and he only hit me when I needed it and since I was not such a great kid, there were times when I needed to be disciplined. I worked as a Substitute teacher and I know about the worst students being in 7th, 8th and 9th grade, God bless all of the Middle school teachers. Your mom sounded mean and it is good that you stood up to her.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My dad beat us with the belt but he seemed to take no joy in it. My brother way more than me. I question any act short of putting one’s self or others in mortal danger being belt-worthy, but I understand the need for discipline. A substitute teacher for anything beyond elementary is an exercise in masochism or a trial of supreme patience I can imagine. As a juvenile probation officer most of my probationers were in this age range. I was lucky to have the hammer of the law to threaten them with, whereas teachers get nothing. My mom continues as before but in other ways. Yes, standing up was a good thing.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s