Humpty Dumpty Is Not An Egg

I was playing golf with my nephew Jack the other day, we just teed off on the first hole when he asked me, “Do you think that Lewis Carroll was on drugs?”  I answered, “Possibly, I think there were rumors that he was on opium or laudanum when he wrote Alice in Wonderland.  I did read that Carroll suffered from a strange Lilliputian disorder that caused him to have hallucinations which made him feel bigger or smaller than he was.  This was later named Alice in Wonderland Disorder, where a person gets confused about the size and shape of their body parts.  Their perception is affected where they may feel as though their body is expanding or getting smaller and this theme is featured prominently in the story.  May I ask you why you are so curious about Lewis Carroll?”

Jack said, “Well I have to write a paper for my English Literature class about a famous author and discuss their ideology and also include a quote by them and explain it.  I came across this quote, ‘In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die: Ever drifting down the stream- Lingering in the golden gleam- Life, what is it but a dream?’, which I really liked and he was a dreamer and a real space cadet, so that is why I want to write my paper about him.  He had this wonderful imagination where Alice is eating magic mushrooms and she meets this hookah smoking caterpillar and this made me think that Lewis Carroll was on drugs.”

I told my nephew Jack, “I think you made a good choice going with Carroll and I am proud of you for turning into such a responsible person, but I don’t feel that drug use is a good premise to base your paper on, and maybe you could write about the interplay of exchanging sense for non-sense instead.”  Jack said, “I haven’t started writing yet, so making a change at this point will be easy.  I was thinking about mentioning how much Carroll influenced Rock and Roll with the Jefferson Airplane song ‘White Rabbit’ and the Beatles’ song ‘I Am the Walrus’, and since you always know so much about music, I thought I would discuss this idea with you, Uncle Jim.”

We reached our drives and got out of the golf cart and after discussing the distance that we were from the green, we selected our clubs for our next shots.  We both landed our shots on the green and got back in the golf cart and I asked Jack, “What makes you think that the song ‘I Am the Walrus’ has anything to do with Lewis Carroll?”  Jack replied, “Carroll wrote The Walrus and the Carpenter which is recited by those fat twins, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, to Alice in ‘Through the Looking-Glass’ and Humpty Dumpty is also in that novel, so that is what John Lennon is singing about when he mentions the eggman.”  I replied, “Although the Lewis Carroll book shows Humpty Dumpty appearing as an egg, the original Humpty Dumpty was a cannon.  The eggman was a nickname given to Eric Burdon the Animals’ singer by John Lennon, because he had a raw egg paraphilia fetish.  Burdon achieved this dubious distinction after he told Lennon about this wild time that he had with his Jamaican girlfriend Sylvia.  He said that he was up early one morning cooking breakfast, naked except for his socks, and she slid up beside him and slipped an amyl nitrate popper inhalant drug used to enhance sexual pleasure under his nose.  As the fumes produced a sensation of excitement in his brain he slid to the kitchen floor, and she grabbed an egg which she cracked into the pit of his belly.  The white and yellow of the egg ran down his naked front and Sylvia showed him one Jamaican trick after another.  Instead of having Eggs Benedict, Sylvia was enjoying eggs been on a dick.”

We both putted our balls into the hole and I said to Jack, “Lennon used a lot of nonsense lyrics in that song he wrote ‘Come Together’, where he sings about Toe-jam football, Wonky finger and Walrus gumboot and maybe you could salvage your Rock and Roll theme by tying that into how Carroll wrote so much about utter nonsense.  You also might want to make up your own silly poem to go along with your paper.  It could go something like this, Lemon tarts shaped like hearts, it smarts having eggs dripped on your private parts.”  Jack said, “Oh that is a good one Uncle Jim, but I don’t think my English Lit teacher would enjoy your humor.  I know that you wanted to get some physical exercise out here today, but I am real happy that I talked you into sharing this cart with me today.  Riding in this cart is just like having a fan blow cool breezes on us and this sure has been a hot Summer so far.”

As we teed off on the next hole I said to Jack, “Did you know that Carroll liked little girls and that he developed this special relation with Alice Liddell who became his muse?  Some critics even suggested that he was a pedophile, but his love was complicated, as it was delicate, tortured and elusive.  He was strange, but he had this warmth, and this terrified passion, that made him intricate, so this was not a merely black or white issue.  He sat with Alice in a boat gliding along the glittering river and made up stories, the more outlandish the better.  His feelings rhymed and punned themselves, as he chatted with Alice about Wonderland.  His love was unrequited, because it was impossible, ethereal, and because he could not allow himself to fully feel it.”

Written for Daily Addictions prompt – Responsible, for FOWC with Fandango – Dreamer, for July Writing Prompts – Lemon tarts shaped like hearts, for Sheryl’s A New Daily Post Word Prompt – Ideology, for Ragtag Community – Salvage, for Scotts Daily Prompt – Physical, for Teresa’s Haunted Wordsmith Three Things Challenge prompts – fan cool Summer and for Word of the Day Challenge Prompt – Unrequited.

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