An Epigram For The Prince

Lord Guildford said, “Here’s the Prince let him lay, now he’s at peace so I can get on with the rest of my day.  What do you think of it so far?”, he asked the Duchess of Cambridge.  The Duchess Lady Alexandra responded, “I have no idea what the hell you are talking about and I overslept a bit, so I am probably going to be late for my appointment downtown as I think that I just heard the 10 AM bell ring.”  Lord Guildford went on saying, “Oh I guess I forgot to tell you that I have been assigned to write an epigram for the late Prince who died last week fighting off that primitive beastly wolf.  I am sorry to disrupt your busy morning and this is just a start, and I have a long way to go and maybe you can help me when you get back to the castle later.  By the way, who is your appointment with if you don’t mind telling me?”

Lady Alexandra said, “I am heading down the hill to look at a vase in that new pottery shop, so I can place some floral arrangements on our foyer table in front of the Monet.  I remember all of the mayhem and violence that wolf had wrought across the kingdom, did someone finally catch and kill it?”  Lord Guildford said, “No not yet, the primitive, uncivilized, savage beast is still lurking around and it is hard to believe that dogs descend from these subspecies.  If you happen to go past the Blacksmith, can you mention to him that the tenons at the top and bottom of our front gate are starting to rust and that we would like him to come by and have a look to see if we need a new one, or maybe it just needs some paint.”

Lady Alexandra said, “I think that I can make time for that and while I am away, you can continue with your epigrammatic writing.”  Lord Guildford said, “Later dear and I will keep trying to come up with an acerbic, arrogant, clever, contemptuous, cynical, disparaging, mocking, pungent, quick-witted, sarcastic, satiric, scathing, scoffing, uncomplimentary, witty, wry way of honoring the fallen Prince.  Our Prince did not have a peer, especially when it came to drinking beer.  He was known to fancy a tart and he could also blast a fart.  He had this certain oblivescence about him and he often acted on a whim.  It seemed like he always had an angle and he often got into a tangle.  I think that should do it.”

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Wordle #199 and for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge FOWC where the prompt is “primitive” and for The Haunted Wordsmith Three Things Challenge, 04 June 2018 where the prompts are “Prince, bell and downtown” and for RayNotBradbury Cool Writing Prompt’ for this week, 4-11 June where you need to use 5 more synonyms of the word “ironic”.