Stupid Costume

Ken said, “Oh tiddlywinks, I will wear the costume, but it just looks so stupid and people will probably start calling me Moon Face after the play is over. I do like the name Sin which is the Sumerian or Akkadian name for the crescent moon god and my consort, Ningal the reed goddess is pretty hot.  I read the script, ‘A Cow of Sin’, and I have already memorized the Akkadian incantation to help a woman in childbirth.  I am not real happy about having to fall in love with my cow and impregnating her, but the script does say that she is beautiful and she has sex appeal, however in spite of this, I am sure that people will laugh at me when they see me humping a cow on stage.”

The director told Ken, “You will be dressed as a bull when you hump the cow, so it should look totally normal.  Don’t worry if the people laugh, as they will not be laughing at you, they will be laughing at the archaic Akkadian culture and this is supposed to be a comedy.  I know that the script comes off as being serious, but after you get the cow pregnant, you don’t have to see her again till she is ready to give birth to your son.  When it comes to the end of her pregnancy and her birth-pangs begin, you will hear her cries from up in heaven.  Then you will descend down to earth as a helping spirit and perform a ritual to ease the birth.  If you know the incantation, then please say it for me now, as this is the most crucial part of the play.”

Ken said, “There is my beautiful cow and I call her Geme-Sin.  She is decorated with ornaments, and she has a tempting shape.  I fell in love with her the first time that I saw her.  I laid my eyes upon her and she felt the brilliance of my stare, as I gazed at her.  I appointed her at the head of my herd, and my herdsmen were instructed to follow her.  I ensured that she grazed in the plushest grasses and I made sure that she always had an abundant amount of water to quench her thirst.  I was hidden from the herd boys, not seen by the herdsman, and disguised as a wild bull when I mounted the cow, and she lifted up her tail for my entry.  When her days came to an end, her months were finished, the cow trembled and terrified her herdsman.  Her anguish made me bow my head and all the herd boys lamented with me, as she kept crying and screaming in labor.  I was downcast hearing the screaming up in heaven and I descended down from heaven to see if I could help.  I touched her forehead with oil and I sprinkled her whole body with water of labor and then a calf fell down on the ground like a gazelle’s young.  I called the calf Amarga meaning ‘Milk-calf” as Geme-Sin gave birth.  May this incantation be used for all of the other woman in labor that they may also give birth.  Let the midwife not be held back, let the pregnant one be alright.  I really think that I nailed that and then I am supposed to look up at heaven and smile.”

The director said, “Yes you did nail it and you are going to be a great Akkadian moon god and that costume really looks awesome on you.”  Ken said, “Thanks, I guess I will get used to wearing it and I will probably also get used to being called Moon Face, but I hope that no one ever calls me Ass Face.”

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge #216

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