Mile High Club

“Ahem, that is enough, I have had to watch you both acting inappropriately for this entire flight, French kissing, mashing your tongues together and now you are feeding each other acting like you are completely unaware of my presence.  This is a public airplane and you need to show some constraint and stop groping each other.  How far are you planning on taking this?  You should keep your tongues to yourself and refrain from dry humping in public, as this type of behavior is over the top and I don’t want to have to watch it anymore.  A peck on the lips or holding hands are where you should draw the line, as anything more than that done in public falls outside defined tasteful limits and I am getting queasy just having to watch you constantly clinging to each other’s faces.  I am begging you to please be considerate of others who have just as much of a right to be in a public location as you have and try to hold off on being so lovey-dovey, until you get back to your home.”

The man said, “Thanks for sharing your opinion with us, but if you don’t like what you are seeing, than look someplace else.  I want my partner to feel confident and comfortable when she is with me and not be ashamed of anything that she does when she is with me.  I think it is important for both of us to show that we are proud of our relationship.  Falling in love is a wonderful thing, and we want the whole world to know how we feel.  I am comforted when she is with me, as just being with her makes me feel alive.  It is clear that we each have different views about PDA and I have had enough of your opinion, so from now on, please mind your own business.”  The couple wrapped their arms around each other closed their eyes and started kissing each other passionately again.  After a few more minutes of being overly affectionate, they both got up and headed toward the restrooms.

The man noticed that a half hour went by and that this couple still did not return to their seats yet, so he thought that he should put a stop to these in-flight fornicators.  He saw the flight attendant and he alerted her that the couple had been in the bathroom for a suspiciously long time and he thought that he heard them say something about assembling a bomb.  The flight attendant said that they did not look like terrorists and she thought that they were just a loving couple that was probably trying to join the mile-high club.  She said that at any rate they should not be in the lavatory together, so she would knock and ask them if everything is OK in there.  She said that she usually tends to look the other way when she encounters overly frisky passengers on her flight and that at times she had even had a good chuckle at the audacity of some of her passengers, however it has been years since she had to break up a lavatory tryst.  She told the complaining man that people who stay in the toilets for a long time are a safety risk, but most of the sex that people have on planes actually goes unpunished.

Written for 11/18/17 Linda G. Hill’s Life in progress Stream of Consciousness Saturday where the prompt that you start your post off with is “psst”, or any other attention-getting noise or word.

7 thoughts on “Mile High Club

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