You Can’t Pick Your Family

She was my wife’s older sister and she had a habit of getting nasty when she drank.  She drank too much at my wedding and everyone thought it would be a good idea to call a taxi to take her home, but she insisted that she could drive.  My Father told me to walk her out to her car to make sure that she did not fall down or get mugged in the parking lot.  When we got out to her car, she wrapped her arms around me and then she kissed me on my lips and she snaked her tongue into my mouth.  My wife was not happy about this when I told her.

My wife and I bought a two bedroom timeshare and my wife thought it would be a good idea for her sister and her two children to come along with us for a family vacation.  We gave her sister the extra bedroom and her kids each slept on a couch in the living room.  Things went fine for a few days and then I bought some shrimp for my wife to make shrimp and spaghetti.  My wife toiled in the kitchen while her sister kept drinking vodka till she was polluted.  When dinner was ready my SIL said that she was not hungry and then she went into the kitchen and grabbed the pot of spaghetti sauce and threw it up into the celling.  Nobody got any dinner and we had to spend an hour cleaning up the mess.

One Thanksgiving we picked her up to go over to her mother’s house for dinner and she drank a lot of beer. She was pretty tipsy after a long day of drinking and my wife suggested that her sister should ride up front with us on the way home, so we could keep our eyes on her.  All of a sudden she flipped out and she grabbed the steering wheel while I was on the highway and she said that she could crash the car if she wanted to.  I pulled over and told my wife that we should make her sister walk the rest of the way home to her house, because she did not know how to behave properly.  My wife would not hear of that, but at least I was able to get her out of the front seat.

I carted my SIL up to the Pocono’s one day for another family event and she did a good deal of drinking that day, but for the most part she was actually behaving herself.  On the way home she suggested that we stop at Applebee’s to get some desert, which sounded like a good idea.  Her and my wife each ordered strawberry margaritas and then things went downhill from there.  My SIL had gotten a panic whistle from a rape seminar that she attended and she took this out of her purse and started blowing in it.  It was so embarrassing having to sit in a booth with her while everyone was watching us and I told my wife, “She’s at it again!”  Some people just cannot hold their liquor.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Life in progress November 15, 2017 One-Liner Wednesday – She’s at it again.

8 thoughts on “You Can’t Pick Your Family

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