The Roadside Vendor

 

I used to love stopping by this place to get fresh peppers and tomatoes, but the vendor took down his Rebel flag and he peeled off that NRA sticker that was on the front of his stand and he put up two Pakistani flags one at each corner of his vegetable and flower stand. What really pissed me off was that black ISIS flag that was waving in the breeze. It was the same guy and I wondered what had changed, so I pulled my car over to give him a piece of my mind.

As I approached his stand I greeted him, “Hey Joe, what is the deal with all of these terrorist displays?” He said that since he redecorated, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and several other agencies have all been watching his house 24/7 and this makes him feel much safer. He said that he has stopped paying for his ADT system that was protecting his home and now he is saving $69.95 every month. He feels like he is getting more respect now as everywhere he goes people are moving out of his way. He told me that he is considering purchasing a burka to wear when he goes out to shop or travel, so security won’t be able to pat him down. He told me that he was robbed three times last month and now he feels safe at last and then he said God Bless America, isn’t this a great country!

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie November 9th Tale Weaver #145 – The Roadside Vendor.

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