The group therapy session in Whispering Hills Sanatorium had just started and Dr. Poser Snoop, PhD had just gotten all 15 patients seated. Dr. Poser said, ‘Who can remember where we left off last week?’ Oral Spasm the man with Tourette syndrome said, ‘Fuck, damn, I am missing my game shows.’ Dr. Poser replied, ‘Don’t you think that it is more important that we work towards a cure, than you worrying about missing Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune?’ Oral Spasm shook his head and then he cleared his throat which made him sound like he was barking and then he said, ‘I fucking guess so.’
Dr. Poser said, ‘We left off discussing how we should face our fears if I remember correctly and everyone in this group is afraid of something. Fandango Finkelstein who was suffering from agoraphobia said, ‘Doc since you are also in this coco’s nest, does that mean you are also afraid of something?’ Dr. Poser said, ‘Well yes I have a slight case of arachnophobia which is a fear of spiders, they creep me out and I try to avoid them at all cost.’ Sandi Doolittle who was diagnosed with Ophidiophobia a fear of snakes said, ‘I don’t care what we talk about as long as we never have to discuss that Munchausen Syndrome ever again as it makes me feel like I have a physical, emotional or cognitive disorder, and I think that the discussion brings out all of these symptoms.’
Sight Thinker who was afraid of dogs a condition known as cynophobia chimed in, ‘Can we talk more about Fandango’s problem as I find his anxiety disorder in which he fears and avoids places or situations that seem to cause him to panic and make him feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed so interesting. It seems like his fear of an actual or anticipated situation, such as using public transportation, being in open or enclosed spaces, standing in line, or being in a crowd is not logical at all. He wants to escape and get help but that just seems to lead to more panic attacks. It is an endless cycle, which causes him to worry about having another attack and he never feels safe in any public place, especially where crowds gather. He even has trouble getting to these group therapy sessions.
Vandana Banana who was being treated for mysophobia a fear of germs said, ‘I would rather talk about Piper’s condition trypophobia, as I can see no reason why anyone would be afraid of holes.’ Piper piped in, ‘It all started with my horrible dream that I was stuck inside of a giant honeycomb and after that any type of hole just seemed to be disgustingly gross to me.’ Just then Papa Malo, the Bad Dad said, ‘I think that a spider just crawled on your leg.’ Dr. Poser said, ‘I don’t see any spider.’ Papa Malo said, ‘It is there, it is hidden under your pants.’ Dr. Poser jumped out of his chair and screamed and then Oral Spasm blurted out, ‘I better tell Trump about the damn conspiracy.’