Marketing Plan

So it begins, there is no stopping Eli, as he is coming like a runaway train.  This blog will make much more sense if you read my post from yesterday ‘Eli is Almost Here’ first.  Resistance is futile, the arrival of Eli is eminent.  I am an idea man and that is why I write, but I am not a salesmen, a marketer, a researcher or a promoter, and these are the things that I need to be in order to publicize my new book.  I have developed a Strategic Marketing Plan, which is a comprehensive guide for me to follow, that should create interest in my book and possibly accomplish other specific objectives, like raising awareness that I actually wrote a book and attracting more readers that might possibly purchase it.  I do not have the finances to make a series of commercials, so my commercials will only exist in my mind and in those who actually read my posts.

The first commercial will feature Denzel Washington, who starred in the Book of Eli and he would be holding my book and saying, “The Ancient Book of Eli has become the flower of light in the field of darkness that’s giving me the strength to carry on.”  Will that make people want to buy my book?  I don’t think so, but people will wonder what in the hell the ‘Ancient Book of Eli’ actually is.  It is a tease and I love teasing, but this tease will generate some interest.  I wonder how much money Denzel makes for a 15 second commercial.  Perhaps I could hire a look alike to double for him, but since this only exists in my mind, I am going to go with the original.

The second commercial would feature Archie and Olivia Manning sitting in their kitchen along with Cooper, the mysterious other Manning brother and his wife Ellen and their three children May, Arch and Heid.  Peyton Manning would also be sitting at the kitchen table along with his wife Ashley and the twins, daughter Mosley and son Marshall.  They all hear a car pull up outside in the driveway and Peyton and Archie run to look out of the window.  Peyton says, “It looks like Eli is a coming, we better run.”  The camera turns to Eli Manning and you see him walking up to the house carrying my book.  The commercial ends and I will not even ponder how much this will cost to make.  This is much more than a tease and I am positive that this will raise awareness that I actually wrote a book.  Wow my marketing plan is actually working, well at least it is in my mind.

The third commercial would feature a sign that says “Vatican Book Screening Room”, and then the camera fades to the inside of this room where a monk has just finished reading my book.  The monk walks up to a table on the right, where there is a sign that says “Acceptable”.  The sign on the left of this table says, “Banned” and there is a flaming pit behind that sign for the rejected books to be placed into.  As the monk places my book in the Acceptable area he turns around and smiles at the camera saying, “Even though this book has too much sex in it for my taste, I am going to recommend it to the pope, as I feel that it has the potential to make the Bible interesting and my hope is that it will get people to start reading the Bible again.”  Now people will know about my book, it is no longer cryptic and most people will trust a monk that works at the Vatican.  The word is out about Eli and others will spread the word.

The fourth commercial would feature me holding up my book, while I am wearing an ephod and saying, “That is right, I wrote the Ancient Book of Eli and you better run out and buy it.”  I would appreciate any thoughts that anyone has on my marketing plan and if you don’t have anything to say, then you could at the very least hit the LIKE button.

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